those idiots who block queues in the petrol station, why can't they be more like me?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I mean those idiots who sit in the longest queue, blocking everyone else in while half the pumps sit unused, because they refuse to do a little simple reversing or to drag the pump lead over to the other side of the car. I could almost pity them, poor fools.

So, I drove in, saw the only available pump was on the wrong side for me. No trouble, I thought smugly, niftily performing a three-point turn on the forecourt and parking up on the correct side.

Got out to discover that this car has the cap on the other side from my old petrol car. Which I did sort of know but, being an idiot, had forgotten.

Never mind, I thought, getting back in, if I just pull forward a few feet I'll be able to get the hose across the back to the wrong side. I pulled forward. I got out.

Opened the cap to find the handy 'diesel' reminder written on the underside. Bollocks. Now I'd moved my car away from the petrol leads they wouldn't reach.

Got back in. Performed another three-point turn. Got out and filled up from the correct side with the correct fuel, just several aeons minutes later than when I'd started. Tried not to look at other people pissing themselves.



(My AIBU, if the thread police are around, is your choice between the thread title and the more likely 'AIBU to think I am a total twit who lacks the intelligence to drive a car?')

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

oh dear.

I bet you just felt like getting in the car and driving off and fueling somewhere else!

That's what I'd have done.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I did feel tempted. I had on my mind those stories how they panic when they see you drive off because they think you're stealing fuel. I felt very guilty even getting back in to reverse once I'd picked up the hose.

I am a twat.

[LadyMountbatten]

this fcuking drives me NUTS

stretch your HOSE, wankers

God yes

[ParadiseChick]

I hate people in petrol stations who treat it like a family outing, taking maw paw and the bairns into the shop for a qwee browse before paying, getting thema ll strapped in again and driving off.

I hate people glaring at me for 'jumping' the queue (also known as using common sense) and strtching the hose over. It's easy done, the majority of places tell you to do it but lots of people don't.

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

LRD you are not a twat, just human and thank you for the giggle

I know someone not me honest who tried to drive away with the nozzle still in the tank.

[LadyMountbatten]

oh ha! only read para 1 i was SO SO ready to rant


dont let ANYONE see the other paras!!

[HousewifeFromHeaven]

[LadyMountbatten]

I also would wilfully garrotte people who drive around with car park tickets in their MOUTHS

ewew ewew

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Oh, bless you, hearts, thanks. And at the driving away. You banana.

I will admit, I compounded my sins by buying a salad for lunch in the shop, thus prolonging my unfortunate presence on the tarmac even further. But it was ok cos the queue was massive (on account they'd all been held up by some twunt doing three-point turns on the forecourt).

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Nah. you performed a public health service.

It is clinically proven that laughter lowers blood pressure, increases oxygenation of the blood and vascular blood flow, exercises the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles, and relieves stress and anxiety.

Just think of all the people you helped today.

you're a star. Truly you are.

[Bowlersarm]

at least you were attempting to do the correct thing.

It took me ages to pluck up the courage to try and stretch the hose thing over to the wrong side. Biggest relief of my life (only slightly exaggerated) when it actually worked. Now I feel very smug when I queue jump to the one free pump no one is using.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

lady - why? Not that I don't salute your right to froth over it, but I don't see the annoyance?

My mum trained me early - she'd grab the ticket and whack her arm out sideways so you had to grab it pronto. If you weren't very quick you got a faceful of arm and ticket.

It did save her putting it in her mouth though.

[LadyMountbatten]

i dont know LRD it is BEYOND logic.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Oh, hecsy.



Too kind.

You're lying to me because you know I am a local laughingstock, aren't you?

[Blessyou]

The only time I tried to stretch the hose over my Ford Fiesta, assured by mumsnet this was how it was done
A it didn't reach
And
B the attendant instructed me over the tannoy to wait for an available pump on the appropriate side

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Yes.

[LadyMountbatten]

You know that theory of the picture on your fuel gauge shows what side the hole is on?>
Doenst work on a C4 Picasso

[LadyMountbatten]

They always bloody reach! I have never had one not reach

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Thanks.

lady - erm, is this the point where I admit my spatial senses are only marginally more evolved than an amoeba?

[ExitPursuedByABear]

I once failed to open the fuel tank on DH's car so got back in and drove away. The shame!

[Buzzardbird]

That story could only be bettered by you inserting the nozzle only to get 'splashback' all over the forecourt

[Blessyou]

Not for me LadyMountbatten. It was a small car too.

[XBenedict]

They don't always reach

Ha ha OP you've made my lunchtime bless you

[LadyMountbatten]

thats odd. I must always choose LONG hoses

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

exit - it wasn't a mazda was it? The first time I drove my mum's mazda I had to ask the bloke in the garage how it worked (it's a little lever by your foot in the driver's seat ... bizarre). However I was young and daft and didn't realize this wasn't normal ignorance.

buzzard - sorry, but no. I did get diesel on my hands but I rather like the smell so that was fine.