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to have thrown water over DS (10) as he would not get dressed this morning?

(362 Posts)
StuckForAUserName Fri 08-Feb-13 10:55:59

We are late almost every day due to DSs having no interest in getting ready for school and it is an ongoing problem where I am severely stressed out every morning.

It got to 8.25 this morning (we need to leave by 8.30) and DS1 was still in underpants jumping on his brother and fighting him. He had been repeatedly told to get dressed and I warned him I would do it.

I picked up a small jug of cold water I had been using for the iron and chucked it at him. He was soaked and had to change pants. He had some splashes of water on his clean and laid out ready school uniform but I told him to put it on.

I now feel very guilty and hate that I did it but the only other option was a hard slap on the arse IMO. So am I a child abuser?

OxfordBags Tue 12-Feb-13 16:19:45

Kelly, Valium is positing two different ways of how the incident might have played out, she's not making things up to suit herself.

KellyElly Tue 12-Feb-13 16:22:36

OxfordBags sorry, got the wrong end of the stick blush, I though she was trying to say Allways was laughing and playing along with it.

shockers Tue 12-Feb-13 16:26:33

Haven't read the whole thread, but my mum used to wring a wet flannel out over my face if I wouldn't get up. She wasn't a child abuser, just a frustrated mum with a lazy teenager.

I have grown up to be a reasonably well adjusted adult I think.

FutTheShuckUp Tue 12-Feb-13 16:30:14

Fairenuff- can you not see how utterly pointless it is comparing what a parent would do to discipline a child as to what a husband/wife would do to their spouse (presumably to chastise/teach them a lesson as discipline wouldn't be appropriate assuming the balance of power in a relationship is equal)???
As I stated earlier- if my husband confiscated my mobile phone because i'd annoyed him/not done as I was told- how do you think people on here/womens aid would react? Thats downright controlling and abusive for a spouse- but acceptable for a parent/child relationship. Also if I did something unacceptable to my husband he has the option of packing his bags and leaving.Would I be able to if my kids had defied me? No of course not. Its so obtuse to compare what is acceptable in an adult relationship/out on the street to strangers and what parents do it really gets my goat it is bought up every sodding time in this sort of discussion.

valiumredhead Tue 12-Feb-13 16:33:03

I am pointing out that context is everything and I did use 'probably'!

By the way i idolised my dad he was lovely

valiumredhead Tue 12-Feb-13 16:34:39

Kelly, Valium is positing two different ways of how the incident might have played out, she's not making things up to suit herself

Thank you - yes, quite.

Context is everything.

Mintberry Tue 12-Feb-13 17:08:05

I remember my dad tipping a bowl of water on my head to get me out of bed when I was about that age! Now it's just a funny story I laugh about. It seemed more like a prank than a punishment, but it still corrected the behaviour (for a while, anyway wink).
I also remember getting smacked when I was young (under 6?), but I remember that with a scowl and wouldn't do it to my own kids.
So, in my experience at least, they're not the same, as some have been saying.

swallowedAfly Tue 12-Feb-13 17:58:07

i have to say if i knew which school these teachers worked at i'd be on the phone reporting my concerns and asking that inspectors checked their safeguarding training was up to date and taken seriously.

my line manager is the safeguarding officer. i'm an ex teacher, counsellor and now work in a role that brings me into direct contact with 16+ students. therefore over the years i've had lots of safeguarding training and been familiar with the standards and procedures for it in educational institutions and medical settings.

as someone with a duty of care you have to report things like this that are told to you. whether they lead to action being taken or not is above your pay grade frankly but you have a duty to report - it's part of your job and contract as teacher. you tell the safeguarding officer - he/she will have access to more info such as whether other agencies are involved with the family, whether they have been previously, whether there are any known procedures in place etc. they will also have contacts with social services, local authorities, the police etc who advise them and who they share that information with. yes the social workers may well decide yep, nothing to see here it's all good but please let us know if anything else comes to your attention. or it may turn out there is cause for concern about another child in the family, or there has been a police call out for domestic disturbance at the property previously etc.

no one is saying 'take the kids away' they're saying take the incident seriously and share information with the nominated person who deals with this stuff.

there is no way anyone who works in education can be unaware of these procedures and the importance of them and how many lives they can potentially save unless they're institution is working at a level that should be failed at the next ofsted and have them in special measures or whatever the equivalent is these days.

my boss spent hours with the ofsted inspectors during the recent inspection showing evidence of safeguarding procedures, case samples, our training programme for staff etc etc.

MrsKeithRichards Tue 12-Feb-13 18:45:33

In primary one my son went to school with a cracker of a black eye. steWed been for dinner at my in laws, when mil was serving up she was standing at my son's shoulder. He turned round and the corner of her stupid square plate caught his eye.

After a day at school his teacher asked if she could have a word. She asked ds what had happened, he just replied 'my Granny done it to me' grin

I explained what had happened, we had a bit of a laugh about black eye granny, and that was that.

I have no doubt that the whole thing is recorded somewhere, if it isn't it bloody well should be.

Domjolly Tue 12-Feb-13 19:19:18

May be you should of tried UP parenting and allowed to deciced when he was ready to get dressed grinHhaha

Domjolly Tue 12-Feb-13 19:20:47

Ds did this when he was 7 so i took him to school in his jim jams put uniform in a bag and haned him in to the office he was so shocked he never refused again plus everyone was laughing at him

KatyPeril Tue 12-Feb-13 19:26:14

YANBU. I had this done to me. I didn't muck about again!

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