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Is it so bad to ask someone to take off their shoes in your home?

(563 Posts)
BlueVernis Wed 05-Dec-12 11:58:21

As huge row has broken out between my sister inlaw (SIL) and myself, after I asked her to take of her shoes when she came to my house!
She came over with a few other inlaws late one night as they were passing by. It was raining outside and we have carpet in our living room, which is quite new. Also, my kids like to play on the living room carpet.
My SIL came in and I asked her if she could take her shoes off. She told me that it was a hassle to take of her shoes. I just looked at her and said in a half joke-half serious way that I would have to get some kitchen roll and wipe her shoes then. Then I left her in the hallway and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
A few minutes later I heard her screaming at DH in the hallway, saying that I insulted her by not allowing her into my home and I have no right to ask her to take her shoes off as she is the older SIL. She rang my MIL and was going on and on that I had insulted her etc.
She then went outside, shouting and yelling (I'm sure the neighbours loved it!) and sat in the car and refused to come in.
I'm fuming with her behaviour as I don't think my request was wrong. I have been brought up to take off my shoes in other people's homes, and I even make my kids do the same, whether the house they go to are carpeted or laminated.
Was I being unreasonable?

exoticfruits Mon 10-Dec-12 20:57:38

I have just been out this evening and 2 women had shoes on bare feet- I find it surprising that people want them to take them off.

PumpkinPositive Mon 10-Dec-12 21:07:35

I live in a tenement flat (no inherent soundproofing between floors) and my upstairs neighbours have stripped floorboards. Suffice to say it has been a loooong 4 years.

Anyway, council guidelines advise that if you live above ground floor and have stripped or laminate flooring, all shoes be removed indoors. Seems reasonable, given the misery all the fortissimo stomping is likely to cause anyone living below.

YANBU to ask house guests to remove shoes.

squoosh Tue 11-Dec-12 00:53:45

I'm not sure. Bare feet can get really mucky, but socks? I wouldn't have thought so.

Well you'd be surprised.

One of my friends is a podiatrist who visibly twitches at the idea of people's bare feet or besocked feet anywhere near floor that she might step on. She has many scare stories.

squoosh Tue 11-Dec-12 00:54:48

I think she's being way ott but I'm merely offering the other side of the anally retentive coin.

exoticfruits Tue 11-Dec-12 07:28:36

I don't think she is OTT- I can't imagine why people want bare feet or socks on their carpets. (and as a guest I am polite and follow requests,but I utterly draw the line at 'guest slippers')

Bunbaker Tue 11-Dec-12 09:12:13

Pumpkin My sister had to put up with a herd of elephants upstairs in her previous flat. Her children were babies then and it was a nightmare.

ToffeeCaramel Tue 18-Dec-12 11:29:40

Sorry to drag this thread up again, but I'm at home today and have got "Keeping up Appearances" on TV on Gold. I've just seen the following exchange between the burglar alarm installer and Hyacinth. grin

"Hyacinth: (to the security installer)Do come in after you've removed your shoes.
(He looks at her questionably)
Hyacinth: Under no circumstances do I allow alien shoes on my herring bone woodblock or my grade one axminsister.
S.I: Of course. (Rolls his eyes as he turns around to take off his shoes)"

MistressIggi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:06:55


exoticfruits Tue 18-Dec-12 18:55:04

Love it! She is alive and well all over the country-but even she didn't offer the 'deadly' guest slippers!

FellatioNelson Wed 19-Dec-12 03:37:19

I must admit, as the mother of some large, hairy teenagers and host to many of their large, hairy and occasionally sweaty friends over the years, I would sometimes prefer the outdoor shoe as the more hygienic option, when compared to a sweaty, cheesy size 11 bare foot.

FellatioNelson Wed 19-Dec-12 03:39:06

If you are particularly concerned about winter weather conditions just lay and old, thick towel immediately inside the door, so guests can wipe their feet on that,a s well as the doormat outside and or/inside obviously, and change your doormats regularly. Stick the old towel on a boil wash afterwards.

FellatioNelson Wed 19-Dec-12 03:40:19

Obviously I am not condoning letting people in in huge great muddy, soaking boots, but honestly I don't think many people are stupid/rude enough to try to do this. Most people have good enough sense/manners to know when their shoes will need removing by default.

exoticfruits Wed 19-Dec-12 19:08:35

If people have great muddy boots they will take them off-adults can use common sense.

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