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AIBU to be a bit annoyed with DH for giving DS a toy 'we' don't approve of?

(97 Posts)
Jojoba1986 Fri 26-Oct-12 22:01:46

DS has just turned 1 & was given a My First Mp3 Player by a close acquaintance. I appreciate the thought but I've always had strong feelings about gadget-y type toys for little ones which I thought DH understood & supported. At the moment I'm stuck in bed at 8 weeks pregnant with awful nausea & dizziness so DH is looking after DS & chose to give him the toy. He then came upstairs & said, "You're probably going to be cross but..."

I know that him playing with it once isn't going to instantly going to rot his mind or anything but it's the principle of the thing. I thought DH & I had agreed that we weren't going to give DS electronic toys yet & I feel a bit like he's just undermined our parenting choices, albeit on a minor thing.

AIBU to feel a little upset with him for doing something he knew I wouldn't like?

(This isn't a natural vs electronic toy thread. It's our choice which we have discussed at length to come to our decision. Also, DS has lots of new toys which aren't gadget-y that DH could have given him!)

Hulababy Fri 26-Oct-12 22:03:19

Is it just something that plays music?
Or that it is electronic?

Sounds like DH doesn't have the same issues over it as you.

Whooooosualsuspect Fri 26-Oct-12 22:05:23

He's one he won't know what it is, he will just bash it about a bit.


Clawdy Fri 26-Oct-12 22:05:50

But your DH didn't buy the toy. What were you going to do with it,send it to the charity shop? YABU,I think. The main thing is,did your DS like it??

Cahoots Fri 26-Oct-12 22:17:06

I think YABU for worrying about this. I think the fact you think he has undermined (your joint) parenting choices is very precious and uptight sounding. If you don't like the toy you can easily put it in a cupboard and get it out when the close acquaintance visits.

The fact that you and your DH have discussed this issue at length and yet he still bought the toy home and gave it to your DS suggests that he doesn't care about the non gadget'y rule.

honeytea Fri 26-Oct-12 22:19:49

yabu won't ds just suck the toy and throw it on the floor?

borisjohnsonshair Fri 26-Oct-12 22:20:28

You'll probably look back at this thread in a year's time and laugh your socks off. I know it seems important, and that it's your DH going against your wishes that's got you riled, but in the grand scheme of things, it's really not important.

MrsRhettButler Fri 26-Oct-12 22:21:11

It sounds like this isn't something your dh has an issue with but has agreed to because you do.

And wooooooooosual hmm grin has a point, he's one, he's gonna bash it around a bit and probably break it anyway! Win win IMO grin

halcyondays Fri 26-Oct-12 22:23:58

Yabu. What harm is it going to do?

OwedToAutumn Fri 26-Oct-12 22:30:28

The thing is, that different things are important to different people. I am really hot on table manners, but DH isn't. He thinks walking around the house in your outdoor shoes is beyond the pale, and I'm not fussed.

Perhaps you just need to let it go.

LunaticFringe Fri 26-Oct-12 22:31:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jojoba1986 Fri 26-Oct-12 23:02:21

As I said originally, this is not about our original decision not to give our child these toys. We discussed it while I was doing training in early years education & made the decision together. I'm frustrated that he chose to go against that decision without discussing it. I would never do something that I knew he felt strongly about without talking to him about it, no matter what my feelings about it were. This wouldn't be an issue if someone else had given him the toy to play with. It's not about the toy. I feel like I've spent the last year playing by all the 'rules' that we agreed together & I've left them alone together for one day because I'm unable to look after DS at the moment & he's just ignoring the decisions we made as a couple.

Whooooosualsuspect Fri 26-Oct-12 23:04:59

You need to relax a bit, really,

I mean that kindly.

PickledFanjoCat Fri 26-Oct-12 23:05:16

You don't sound like your going to change your mind anyway, but for the record I think you are being a little bit uptight, I wouldn't be in a rush to give a laptop or Nintendo ds etc but a little music player that he will probably just get spitty, nope can't see it!

TheWave Fri 26-Oct-12 23:05:43

I would also be annoyed by this. He's only one, there are plenty of other toys without starting with this sort of gadget.

AgnesBligg Fri 26-Oct-12 23:08:57

It sounds like you made the rules and dh shrugged and went along with it.

I don't think you should worry. Their memories will still be of heuristic baskets and perhaps mum being relaxed about the odd electronic music being thrown in. Maybe...

DoMeDon Fri 26-Oct-12 23:09:21

YANBU - you made a decision together after discussion, he knew you wouldn't like it so was aware it went 'against' your joint decision and did it anyway. The subject may be trivial but I would find that disrespectful, whatever the subject was. If he felt it wasn't important, he could have said at the time you talked about it, rather than wait for you to be incapacitated and do as he pleased.

lola88 Fri 26-Oct-12 23:09:33

Would you let him listen to the radio? kids cd? if so then YABU. TBH if your DH gave it to him then it's prob not a decision you made together it's something you decided and he went along with if he was happy with the choice he wouldn't have given it.

It's not an xbox fully loaded with call of duty it's just some music

Floggingmolly Fri 26-Oct-12 23:11:13

Maybe he didn't realise it was a 'rule' hmm

Cahoots Fri 26-Oct-12 23:13:07

Do you usually agree with each other? Do you feel he undermined you? It sounds like you are very rigid in your views. Your DH obviously did not see that this mattered and that he did not mind that you would not approve of what he had done. You can kick up a fuss so he behaves in future or you can let it go.

NatashaBee Fri 26-Oct-12 23:13:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

apostropheuse Fri 26-Oct-12 23:16:23

You'll have many more things to worry about in the future with your children. Really you should try to relax about this. It's not actually that serious.

Viviennemary Fri 26-Oct-12 23:20:21

I think it's a bit of a fuss about absolutely nothing. A one year old won't even understand the first thing about it except it plays music. Sounds as if it is just a special toy adapted for babies.

Bigwheel Fri 26-Oct-12 23:21:42

Uabu, relax or you'll never get though the next 18 years. Perhaps your dh has realised this before you?

pigletmania Fri 26-Oct-12 23:25:55

Yabu and overreacting

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