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Do I pay the money?

(91 Posts)
SacreLao Mon 01-Aug-11 18:54:34

Right bit of a situation this morning that has left me confused as to what to do and your help!

My mum looked after my daughter this morning who is 8 years old, had an appointment so asked her to babysit for an hour which she did.

During this time (and all this is information I have just found out) my mum let her play on her facebook account (my mum's account, my daughter is too young and not allowed one) on a game called Farmville.

I don't allow my daughter to play Facebook games at all, my mum dosn't know that I don't allow it as it has never been spoke about but I have never said I allow it either.

Anyway whilst playing on Facebook my daughter has managed to spend just over £70 from my mum's bank acocunt!

I enquired as to how this had happened and my mum explained that her card details are saved with Facebook as she pays for a few games and it means that no passwords etc. are required to buy items on these games hence my daughter was able to do it.

My mum came round very angry as her bank account has been emptied and made it clear she expects me to give her the money back. I do not under any circumstances have £70 to just hand someone, we are seriously struggling financially at the moment.

Here is my thoughts:

1) It was my mum who gave my daughter permission to play the game on her account, not me.
2) My mum was the person in charge watching my daughter at this time and so should have been supervising what she was doing online and not leaving her to do what she wants.
3) My mum was the one to save her card details to facebook and then give an 8 year old permission to play the game knowing they are stored.

What the hell do I do?

My mum has a nasty temper and I know full well if I refuse to pay this money it will all kick off, she has been known to make threats, bad mouth me to family, call social services with false reports etc. On top of this she has told my sister what happened who immediately sent me a text message saying you had better get that money quick to give her back.

They are all fuming at my daughter for doing this, she is 8 years old for god sake and had no idea what she was doing, it was the first time she had played the game, she did not know it charges real money!

Should I:

1) Pay the whole bill - would have to borrow money to do so
2) Pay half the bill - would have to borrow again but more managable
3) Refuse to pay - huge big kick off and family fall out

What would you do if it was your child?
What would you do if you were the person who this had happened to (ie. your grandchild)?

cornsilksy Mon 01-Aug-11 18:57:05

It is not your fault that they allowed your daughter access to the computer. It would be nice of you to pay half if you can afford to.

caffevalium Mon 01-Aug-11 18:58:26

Buying Farmville credits is not that easy of a process tbh - and I'm pretty sure it doesn't store password details. You don't think she could be blaming your DD for something she herself has done?

hiddenhome Mon 01-Aug-11 18:59:03

She should take the hit because it was her who let your dd onto the computer. She's only 8 and needs supervision. Perhaps your mum will learn a valuable lesson hmm

bananasplitz Mon 01-Aug-11 19:01:13

speak to the facebook people

someone else i know did this and they managed to get a refund

bubblesincoffee Mon 01-Aug-11 19:01:17

I'd say you don't owe anything, for all the obvious reasons you have listed.

if you want to keep the peace, offer to pay half, but there is no way on this earth that you should even have to do that.

And tell your sister to mind her own f*"£^g business!

Tchootnika Mon 01-Aug-11 19:01:53


- Not that I think you should pay... I think your mother was really silly to let this happen. I hope that if I was her I would have the good sense not to let it happen and would at least see how stupid I'd been if I did... Did she really expect an 8y.o to know she was spending on account?

That said, in your position I think I'd keep the peace and as much good will as possible. Make it clear that this is why you're paying half, though - and that you and your DD are not responsible for this needless f* up.

ZonkedOut Mon 01-Aug-11 19:02:05

You could try contacting the Farmville people to see if they would consider refunding the money for return of items in the circumstances.

Other than that, it's your mother's responsibility imo, so it depends how much you want to avoid the fallout.

ChristinedePizan Mon 01-Aug-11 19:02:28

I wouldn't pay the money and would be cross to be asked. She should have been supervising your DD on the computer, not leaving her to her own devices.

BooyHoo Mon 01-Aug-11 19:02:30

i think your mum is totally responsible for this. sorry but i do. was your daughter aware that the games cost money? did your mum explain to her that she couldn't buy any games? did your mum tell her which games she was allowed to play? at 8 years old your mum should have been supervising. if she knew her card details were saved then she should have changed that before letting your dd go on farmville. i wouldn't be paying any of it i'm afraid. your mum's lazy babysitting has cost her £70. her loss.

GypsyMoth Mon 01-Aug-11 19:02:47

what was she doing whilst your dd was online?? no way would i pay sound scared of not only your mum,but of your whole family!

said Mon 01-Aug-11 19:03:10

Don't pay. what is your mum doing badmouthing you to the rest of the family and calling social services? shock Poor you and your daughter.

zukiecat Mon 01-Aug-11 19:03:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabbyChic Mon 01-Aug-11 19:04:16

If you are signed into Farmville you have to click twice to get credits. Your mother will bear the benefit of these, I would offer to pay half as she was responsible for your daughter at the time.

nocake Mon 01-Aug-11 19:05:12

Tell your mother that your daughter will be paying it back at a rate she can afford.... 5p a week.

Jemma1111 Mon 01-Aug-11 19:06:02

I agree that its your mum's fault for letting this happen, I would also offer to pay half and see what your mum says.

Also consider the fact that if she expects you to pay all of the money and you refuse will she in turn not bother to help you out with childcare ?

27tilly Mon 01-Aug-11 19:06:29

I think your mum sounds bonkers

Birdsgottafly Mon 01-Aug-11 19:06:37

I would pay half if i could manage it.
Your DM is at fault, so should take some responsibility, for not supervising your DD, even with the family safety settings on you can click into dating sites advertised in the side bar, which have semi-naked photos on them.

Facebook does store the card details via paypal and a login isn't required, which i found out after my DD spent £5 on Pet Society, because luckily enough i have my account linked to my phone via email and get the payment details sent.

TheOriginalFAB Mon 01-Aug-11 19:06:43

If she only had her for an hour why was she on the computer? Could your mother not have done something with her for the extremely long period of time that is 60 minutes? hmm

squeakytoy Mon 01-Aug-11 19:07:40

I think your mum is trying to pull a fast one here. There is no way that a child could get to grips with farmville as well as buy credits, in such a short space of time. I play it, and that is for sure.

DurhamDurham Mon 01-Aug-11 19:09:03

Pay half, I wouldn't leave a child of mine with anyone who makes threats and calls social services with false claims. She sounds lovely hmm

MoonGirl1981 Mon 01-Aug-11 19:09:33

Don't pay.

Is ridiculous, she let your child play the game and clearly didn't explain the consequences. Her bad.

Had a friend in a similar situation. She gave her mate's kid her watch to play with (child aged 1ish) and the watch got broken. I told her to live with it.

You can't give a child a completey innapropriate toy and then complain about the fall out.

Not played facebook games but noticed that someone else mentioned it not being that easy to spend money. Might be worth chatting about and looking into.

She sounds like a bit of a bi-atch, and may just want a bit of money??

SacreLao Mon 01-Aug-11 19:12:47

Thanks everyone.

In response to the questions:

Yes we are sure it was my daughter, we checked the time of the transaction and my daughter said she did buy the items we listed out to her. She is devastated and has been sobbing sad

She had no idea that it costs real money, she has never played it before and thought it was like other games she plays where you spend money and then get a job if you need more (within the game) She did not understand it was real money.

I checked on my mum's facebook how easy it is to do this and as she has the details stored and facebook credits it took me 2 clicks to get a purchase point, plus things kepy popping up saying buy this and that etc. and that was all with real money if you clicked it so pretty easy to do.

We have contacted Facebook and Zynga who say tough, the credits have been half spent and there is nothing they can do, contacted the bank who said it's not classed as un-authorised if the person is known to you and you gave them access. So no chance of a refund sad
It's a huge amount of money!
The highest one is pre-selected which is why it's so much.

My mu was also playing on the computer at the time this happened, she has a desktop and a laptop. She gave my daughter the laptop and went on the desktop playing other facebook games (cafeworld).

Not answered my sister's message, decided to ignore it.

My mum dosn't have the money and it has left her account empty but I don't have it either and I would never have allowed a child on facebook!

psiloveyou Mon 01-Aug-11 19:14:01

Wow she sounds awful.
I think you are a saint to be letting her anywhere near your dd after calling ss ect.
She should take responsibility for this. She shouldn't have allowed your dd on facebook. She should have been supervising her.
I don't think you should pay a penny.

Mitmoo Mon 01-Aug-11 19:14:13

Farmville does store your credit card details unless you delete it, I used to play Farmville but just for reasons of security I go back to the account and delete. £70 would buy you two years worth of Farmville credits.

It's your Mum's fault, she has left her credit card details in the memory, showed daughter how to use it. Its her fault, her problem.

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