My sister 9yo is spoilt she is never told no and gets very jealous if me and my mum spend any time together. E.G when I was in labor because my mums attentions were focused on me she smashed all my cds to get attention, this does not bother me I am 23 however this is really effecting my DC.
When ds was small she liked playing with him because he stayed in the room with me and she didn't have to leave me and my mum alone when he started wanting to play further away my sister refused to play with him and wanted to play with me and my mum and ignore my DS my mum would say go and play and my sister would make my DS scared to leave the room by telling him there were monsters upstairs. The reason I know it was because me and my mum were together is because when my mum was not there she would not do it and would choose to play with DS without any coercion.
When DD was born my sister would only want to hold my DD and would be quite nasty to my DS saying I have not come to play with you but to play with DD. So I started limiting she could only hold DD for 30 minutesand then as DS would be upset she would play with him for 30minutes. She would hold DD and then say she felt ill and my DS would be left crying for hours. So I said she could not visit again until after DS had settled and accepted DD. My mum had a big argument over how upset my sister was and would pop in on the pretense of helping. I then started leaving my sister hold dd but everyone else leaving the room she would keep calling everyone and crying that she was afraid to be left on her own with DD.
This argument has been continuing since DD is 14months now and the rules in my house are you either play with none or both I don't care whether you play with them both together or you can spend 30 minutes with one then 30minutes with the other. If you are ill (I look after her if she is ill so my mum can work) you can sit on the settee and read and watch 1 film but again if she is well enough to play with DD she is well enough to play with DS age4.
Today she said she was ill and had a bad eye she could not see out of it so was going tostay home with me but last night DS had a bad cough and so is off school when my sister discovered this she said I don't want to go up big sisters because she will make me play with DS all day and I will get more rest in school. Now my mum is having a go that I am overly harsh and I should not force her to play with DS that it is cruel. I don't think she was ill at all I asked about her eye last night and she 'what do you mean? oh right yes it is still really sore' and commenced blinking.
Are my rules unreasonable play with both Dc or neither and if you are too ill to play with either child (which is fine but you are too ill to play with both) you sit quietly and color or read and watch one film. AIBU
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93 replies
FlameGrilledMama · 23/11/2010 12:35
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