Do your 14 year olds do this?

[OhPeeQueue]

She just came running down panicked to tell me that her friend is moving to a 3 storey house next week, and that one of her friends lives in a 3 storey house somewhere else…this little speech would have ended with her telling me she’s the the only one who has to share a room with her sister. 🙄.

So I shouted at her and told her to go to her room and stop being so materialistic. She is always constantly telling me how rich her friends are 🙄.

Nice way to make your parents feel like shit when they’re working hard to give you everything they can.

[CloudyStorms]

Tell her she'd only get fed up of going up and down all those stairs

[MarleneDietrichsSmile]

Silly of you to shout at her

Just tell her “ how wonderful” it “great” and leave it at that

[Livedandlearned]

Don't take it personally

[santasmuma]

So I shouted at her and told her to go to her room and stop being so materialistic

Have you not considered just chatting?

[ShowOfHands]

No my 14yr old does not behave like that. Almost all of her friends are from affluent backgrounds and afaik, it doesn't cross dd's mind to feel hard done by.

[thaegumathteth]

Why did you shout at her?

My 14 year old isn't like this at all but my 11 year old can be. I just point out how lucky she is, no need to be aggressive

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

I would just say ‘And?’

[ShowOfHands]

Yeah my 10yr old can be a bit materialistic too. We're working on it. Not by shouting at him though. He genuinely does negatively compare elements of his life to those around him and worries about judgement due to being sensitive. We, of course, don't indulge the sentiment but we do listen and have conversations about it. I've helped out in his class and it's pretty common with his peers, particularly around Christmas when they're all innocently bragging about what they'll get but at 14, I'd wonder where the insecurity came from and do a bit of digging and chatting.

[Greenmarmalade]

Yes.

[G5000]

I tell my kids that better ones got better parents and they got us

[ponkydonkey]

Any one who doesn't shout (not all the time, but in those heart stoping moments ) at their teen has not obviously ever lived with one 🤔

Good on you love 😀😀

[OhPeeQueue]

I’ve already done the chatting and the “so?” And the “and?”…I have had extensive chats with her about how everyone is different and we can’t have our own rooms, and many people don’t..it seems to be constant almost everyday now. I’ve had enough.

[HarrisMcCoo]

I had to give my 14yo a "keeping it in perspective" talk yesterday....he was feeling like he just never gets to do what he wants with his free time...he gets lots of privileges and never goes without.

Teenagers can be very melodramatic 😂

[ponkydonkey]

Welcome to the shit years 😀 it never ends btw until they leave home and realise unicorns don't exist

[GreenLunchBox]

There was no need to shout at her. A tad OTT Poor kid

[OhPeeQueue]

The other day she was telling me her friend lives in a massive house with 7 family members and even then, her friend has TWO rooms to herself. I was like “really?”…apparently I’m neglecting her by not magicking up a room for her in our 3 bed semi.

[OhPeeQueue]

@ponkydonkey that makes me cry 😭

[Pyewackect]

Unless it’s about football, cricket or golf my 14 yr old son couldn’t give a monkies. It’s like having a conversation with John Motson most of the time. I’m thinking of getting him a sheepskin coat

[ChittyChittyBoomBoom]

My dd doesn’t do this about material things really but she does seem to think that her friends all have perfect lives and families who never get irritated or argue with each other 🤔.

[Therunecaster]

It's fair enough that she has to share but for most kids it's rubbish not to have your own space.

[Mybalconyiscracking]

Dont consider it particularly materialistic to want your own room at 14, maybe talk things through? Shouting at her won’t help anything.

[ponkydonkey]

My sons friends are billionaires and have a heated Pool and a 10 bed mansion, his dad has a helicopter
With an annexe in the garden full of beer and wine fridge if you please!

We live in a 3 bed terraced house

Honestly they don't know their born these kids

[ShowOfHands]

If she's focussing on the sharing a room aspect, is there a reason why? Does she get privacy within that room? How does it work if friends come over, does she get space then?

[Bluntness100]

Most teens want their own space, shouting at her like you’re also a teen isn’t going to help anything. Shouting at her and banishing her to her room is awful.

The only person who can make you feel like shit is you.

[TeacherMa]

Yes, my daughter of the same age is like yours. Her friends are all very middle class and well off. We're a single parent household and I'm on an average teacher salary. However, we live in the smallest house, the least sought after area (though I love it!), she has fewer materialistic things. She does go on about it time to time but she understands her friends are just very lucky and we are certainly not on the breadline. She's told me she's never going to have children until she is rich! I think it's just this age to be honest. Constantly comparing yourself to others who have more. They never seem to compare themselves to people who have less and realise just how bloody fortunate they are!