Mum will hang up on me when I’m talking to her because her sister calls her or her friend from Australia calls her, she’ll apparently forget we’ve arranged to meet and arrange something else, she never asks about my hobbies or my work. She always asks after my best friend and if there’s any chance of me meeting my best friend she suddenly wants to be there, she tells me my friends hilarious, funny and “the daughter she should have had”. My friend doesn’t get it as her own mum says we’re very similar personality wise. Mum also will use any opportunity to show off my DD (aged 7).
My dads similar, we go months without seeing each other because if I don’t contact him first he just won’t. He couldn’t tell you where I work, what I do as hobbies, who my best friend is. He’s consistent at least because he forgets my DDs name most of the time (DD is their only GC).
Both will turn it round on me though and say they love me very much and would see me every day if they could. But as soon as I suggest to mum we meet up she forgets right before the day and books something else even if she puts it on the calendar and dad will say “I can’t plan that far ahead can we decide on the morning?” but then I can’t book anything because I don’t know if he’ll be there or not. Basically they’re waiting for better offers.
It’s not something they’ve come up with together as they divorced when I was a teenager (now in my 30s).
I just feel so unwanted. My sibling lives with my mum so she’s not the same with them, but my dad never sees them either so at least he’s consistent.
How do I get over this? I’m having counselling and it’s something my counsellor picked up on as a recurring theme. I’ve said I feel like less of a person and I feel like I’m unlikable especially by my mum (less so with dad as he’s the same with my sibling)
Mum will hang up on me when I’m talking to her because her sister calls her or her friend from Australia calls her, she’ll apparently forget we’ve arranged to meet and arrange something else, she never asks about my hobbies or my work. She always asks after my best friend and if there’s any chance of me meeting my best friend she suddenly wants to be there, she tells me my friends hilarious, funny and “the daughter she should have had”. My friend doesn’t get it as her own mum says we’re very similar personality wise. Mum also will use any opportunity to show off my DD (aged 7).
My dads similar, we go months without seeing each other because if I don’t contact him first he just won’t. He couldn’t tell you where I work, what I do as hobbies, who my best friend is. He’s consistent at least because he forgets my DDs name most of the time (DD is their only GC).
Both will turn it round on me though and say they love me very much and would see me every day if they could. But as soon as I suggest to mum we meet up she forgets right before the day and books something else even if she puts it on the calendar and dad will say “I can’t plan that far ahead can we decide on the morning?” but then I can’t book anything because I don’t know if he’ll be there or not. Basically they’re waiting for better offers.
It’s not something they’ve come up with together as they divorced when I was a teenager (now in my 30s).
I just feel so unwanted. My sibling lives with my mum so she’s not the same with them, but my dad never sees them either so at least he’s consistent.
How do I get over this? I’m having counselling and it’s something my counsellor picked up on as a recurring theme. I’ve said I feel like less of a person and I feel like I’m unlikable especially by my mum (less so with dad as he’s the same with my sibling)