Talk to me about your DC's age gaps

[Usual2usual]

Considering baby 3. If we do go for it then it has to be soon as I don't want to be having babies past 40 and I will be 38 this year.

However my current DC are just turned 8 and 4 (soon to be 5).

Assuming in the best case scenario that I got pregnant quite quickly they would be 9 and 6 (ish) when baby was born and Im not sure if this feels too big of a gap?

What are your DC's age gaps and are what have you found to be the downfalls/benefits of bigger gaps?

We've got a 5.5 year gap. It works perfectly for us.

DD1 is 33

DS is 21

DD2 is 14

Unusually large age gaps but it's always worked for us. There was always a babysitter available. They get on well and we have great holidays and days out together. We foster long term and have 3 others aged 11, 16 and 18.

We have 19,16 and 10 (11 on Friday). I found the smaller age gap easier and they get on a lot better.

DC16, DC15, DC3. Love the bigger gap between the older ones who grew up together like twins and DC3.

3.5 year gap, works really well and they’re very close.

@Usual2usual my age gaps are almost similar to yours. I have an 8 and 5 (6 in august) and a 5 week old baby.
It is so easy this time as the two are very independent and in school (on holidays now). I'm enjoying the baby, my first was 2.5when my second was born but this time is different and in a good way. They love the baby especially my 8 year old, it just feels complete now. We live in a 4 bed house and didn't have to change cars. We have baby clothes from my second as we were going to have a third. We also got baby gear from neighbors and friends so our major purchase was a buggy (I was saving our old one but a friend borrowed it to go on holidays and lost it) and a high chair. I had two eldest in my mid and late twenties and baby at 34 three weeks before I turned 35. Best of luck with your decision.

Mine are 11,9,7 & 5. I honestly don’t think you can predict by age at all. It just depends on the specific children as to how they’ll get along. My first two were close in age and it was great as they loved playing together and still get on well. My youngest two (same age gap) don’t like playing together and dd5 is always desperate to play with ds11.

The only thing I'd say is to avoid having a 2.5-3yo and a new baby at the same time unless you have nerves of steel. But seeing as yours are older anyway I'd say crack on

This thread has really given me hope for the future, thank you.

Thanks for all your replies, food for thought.

@Notthissticky, can I ask why not? We're (all being well) going to be in that position next year and hadn't realised it was a particularly tricky age gap ...?

@numberthirtytwoWindsorGardens our first was exactly 2.5 years when second was born. Absolutely no issues then or now and they've always been great together.

6 year gap between my DD's. Absolutely perfect. Older DD had a real life baby to look after/play with, much kudos with friends at school too. Now they are late teens, early twenties, they hang out together, go on trips away, and younger DD has hugely benefited from the older wiser sibling with general life advice.

5 and a half years between DS1 and DD then 23 months between DD and DS2.

The only time I remember finding really hard was having toddler DD and baby DS2 at the same time, there were days where they were both screaming and I just wanted to sit on the floor and join in, it was too much!

Now 19, 13, and 11. When they were younger DD and DS2 were the closest because they could play with the same toys, the same games etc. DS1 didn't really have much interest (that's not quite right and sounds worse than it was but I can't think of how else to explain it!) in them when he was old enough for Lego, card games and they were still at the duplo and cuddly toys stage. No problems as they've got older, all get along fairly well now. DS1 and DS2 particularly, they are the Lego masterminds

@numberthirtytwoWindsorGardens

FWIW there are 3 years between my current two and it wasn't that bad......although there might be some rose tinted glasses being looked through there lol.

18 months between DC1& 2 which I liked as they are super close and could do everything together. Then8 years untilDC 3 . It is like starting again and for the first few years they just had to tag along in the car in school run and for weekend sports etc.having said that they are close and the older ones helped with DC3 and were always thoughtful. Now they are all grown up and close. I liked having DC at home so stretching it out suited me .

I have 3 years 9 months between each of my 3! It just worked out that way! It worked well as I had the first settled in nursery, having time with the next. Plus as I'm disabled, I would've struggled with a double buggy No issues with jealousy or sibling rivalry They're 27,23 and almost 20 now

[quote numberthirtytwoWindsorGardens]@Notthissticky, can I ask why not? We're (all being well) going to be in that position next year and hadn't realised it was a particularly tricky age gap ...?[/quote]
DS1 was an absolutely delightful toddler and was 2y4m when DS2 was born. He then hit terrible twos with a vengeance when DS2 was a few weeks old, as well as getting really jealous. Having a small baby and an angry toddler was rather full on. I know it's a very common age gap, but I'd go for smaller or larger if we were to have a third. Not much you can change about it now though😊 We've worked out better ways of managing DS1 and he's now almost 2y10m and is becoming a bit more reasonable, so things are getting easier.