Couples who have a fairly big difference in earnings - how do you split the bills, mortgage, etc?

[QuakingQuiche]

Couples who have a fairly big difference in earnings - how do you split the bills, mortgage, % of house share you own, meals out, holiday etc.?

One person pays? Both do 50:50? You adjust by % of household income each person contributes? Is it different for different types of spending?

Please state if married or not, cohabiting or not, if you’ve got children or not, how long you’ve been together and if the contributions from each person has changed over time?

Fairly taboo topic but interested in how others do it.

[AnduinsGirl]

I earn 53k, he earns 18k so a big difference here. He pays me £450/month and I pay for everything. I put his payment into savings for a deposit for our next house which will be bought together instead of just being mine. If I'm a bit short at the end of the month he pays for shopping, utilities, etc. Works for us!

[Batshittery]

Why do you ask OP? What's your set up?

[TheGoatIsHere]

I earn about £100k and DH £35k. All money paid into a joint account, from which all bills and purchases are made. Also have joint credit card which is paid in full monthly from this account. My money is his money etc

[InDubiousBattle]

Dp and I have been together over 20 years(wedding now postponed until next year)and have 2 dc. Over the years I have earned more, he's earned more, then much more, then I became a SAHP so earned nothing for 6 years. We've always just put it all into a pot and shared it, all money goes in, bills come out and we both have access to it all.

[Caspianberg]

We have always put the same amount each into own accounts, then everything remaining into joint. Then all bills, food, holidays, childcare, child related stuff etc from joint.

ie if one earns £1000, one earns £5000, then maybe £700 from each would go into own accounts to spend or save as you wanted. That would leave £300 from one, and £4300 from the other person into joint each month.

[MinnieMountain]

Yes OP, what's your set up?

[Moreisnnogedag]

It depends if this is ‘just’ a partner or someone who you intend to spend the rest of your lives together. When we had different salaries, it al just went into the joint account and bills/treats/everything paid for it out of that. Now he’s a sahp nothing has changed

[Mischance]

Opened a joint account as soon as we married. And our credit card was joint. Trusted each other to spend wisely and consult over any major expenditure. Worked for us.

[ChainsawBear]

I have a very good salary and work 4 days, but DH has a higher one and of course works 5. We are married with DC.

Since we have been living together and serious everything goes into one pot and the bills are paid from there. We have a budget which includes joint savings and an agreed, equal personal allowance which is transferred to our personal accounts for clothes, socialising, etc.

[hopefulhalf]

We put an equal proportion of our earnings in.

[DogsBark]

I don't think it's a taboo topic at all

we are not married and dp lives in my house (which is in my name solely). We don't have kids together but each have our own.

I earn a lot more than him. We each have our own accounts but also have a joint account and a joint credit card.

normally, I put in X and he puts in Y (which is substantially less than X but represents about 50% of our disposable income after our own personal bills but before the household bills). But his business is going to fold due to coronavirus so for the time being, I am putting in X and he is unable to put in anything.

We will have to review the situation post the lockdown. For the time being, he's applying for whatever business relief he can get but nothing is forthcoming yet.

[ExpletiveDelighted]

Keep a fixed amount each for personal spending/saving and the rest goes in the household fund to cover bills, car expenses, food, kids stuff, holidays, house renovations etc. Married, kids, 20 years +. It has fluctuated a lot over the years.

[wheresmyhairytoe]

DH earns 35k, me 12k.

All the money is for both of us, he pays a lump into joint account every month and bills, mortgage etc go out of there. I get shopping and stuff for kids out of my account. I have access to his account whenever I need it though.

[Reginabambina]

Married. DH warns fat more and pays for almost everything. I just pick up the utilities, some food shopping/child entertainment costs when I can (if I can’t puts extra money into joint account to cover anything).

[80sMum]

I'm married. DH has always earned more than me. I was a sahm for 5 years so he was the sole earner then. Before he retired he was earning roughly 5 times my salary.

We have always pooled everything. Any money coming in is simply "ours", not mine or his, including anything we have been given from parents' wills.

I own 50% of the house and if we were ever to split up we would split everything 50/50 between us.

[silverrain22]

My husband and I have done this various different ways over the years. We each have a current account but all family purchases (mortgage, bills, food, kids hobbies etc. ) go from the joint account. When we were were young and earning similar amounts pre kids we contributed 50:50. When I went part time, I put in what I could reasonably afford and he paid the rest. He paid everything when I was on maternity. After I built my hours up again when the kids started school, we paid in proportionately to our income. Now he earns much more than I do (damn that Mummy career path!), we work it so that we each have roughly the same disposable income which means he pays 2.5 times the amount that I pay into the joint.

[ChoccyJules]

Joint account, all belongs to us both. When he gets a bonus from his work he chooses how to spend it, that’s the only exception. But if he doesn’t buy anything specific it just gets added to the pot.

[Baaaahhhhh]

Always had a joint account, even before we were married or had children. Everything goes into one account and everything comes out. Simple.

[MrsJoshNavidi]

I earn. DH does not.
25 years married. Our incomes have both varied over that period. Sometimes he's earned more, sometimes I have.

Regardless, we are a unit. All funds into the joint account, all expenses paid out of it. There is no "my money" or "his money"

I would hate to live with a partner who could afford to shop in Gucci if I had to shop in Primark.

[Aragog]

DH earns way more than I do. Together for 30 years, married for 22 years. 1 teenage daughter.

However, we have joint accounts for pretty much everything. Investments and savings are spread between our names. Shared credit card accounts, etc.

We have had this since we moved in together some 24 years ago. I think I earned more than DH for the first two years but then his has taken a much much steeper curve. However, dh has only been in the position to earn so much as I was able to do childcare in school holidays, before and after school, etc. whilst also working FT - but I teach so I have more holidays.

Works for us.

[Morgan12]

We share everything. Both names on all accounts, cards, utilities etc.

[IllegalFred]

Together 14 years, not married, no kids, separate accounts.

He earns 26k, I earn about 110k (contractor so not fixed/guaranteed)

Our household running costs are low, and are split 50:50 - £600 a month.

I tend to pick up various household improvements, holidays, eating out, savings etc.

[HappyDinosaur]

Everything is 'ours' as we believe that being married is about sharing everything, good and bad. I know people that do it very differently, I think it's just a case of what works best for you.

[Standrewsschool]

Married. Money pooled into one account and all bills come out of it. We don’t have any restriction on individual spending for small items such as clothing etc. Large items (computers upwards) get discussed.

[LovingLola]

Married. Joint current account. He earns multiples of what I earn but all earnings go into the joint account and all spending comes from it.
Several types of savings - some his, some mine, some joint. He has a huge pension pot, mine tiny. 2 properties in both names, 3rd in his name only.