How much maternity leave for for working (full-time) mums?

[uwila]

I am currently sturggling with the reality that I can not financially afford to take as much leave as I would have liked. It seems that everyone around me manages to take so much more. So, I just wondered for full-time career dedicated mums, how much time did others take? I am currently planning to take only what my company provides as paid leave (six weeks) plus another two weeks (maybe three) as holiday. This seems rediculously short to me. But, the truth is I can not possibly afford to go without even a couple of weeks of pay.

So, if you work full time in a career that you are dedicated to, how much time off did you take? And, how much was paid (at a minimum of 80% of your salary) time off?

[oooggs]

I had 6 months full pay, 6 months no pay and 2 months holiday as my new part time pay. 14 mths in total and have just gone back 16 hrs a week.

[LunarSea]

Uwila - don't forget to add in to your calculations that if you have a period of less income (like the £102/week SMP) it will affect your overall income, and therefore your entitlement to tax credits.

[Bozza]

Well with DD last year I had 18 weeks at full pay (I think)and 8 weeks at SMP which was a struggle because even though I am part time the SMP did not cover DS's nursery fees. But I think for the previous 18 weeks we had been spending less than we would normally do so it was feasible. With both children (went back when DS was 15 weeks) I was still doing night feeds while working. In fact with naughty DD I sometimes still am!

[elliott]

Well, expressing works for some but not for others. I wasted so much of my time trying to get good at expressing before I went back to work - in the end, most of my precious stockpile went down the sink as he wouldn't drink it at nursery, and I found myself utterly unable to express a drop at work. I think its really tough on women to say 'oh, well you can always express' as an excuse for not giving a decent amount of maternity leave.
In the unlikely event of having another baby I have promised myself never to go near a breast pump
uwila I am sorry you have a financially incontinent husband. My mum had a friend like this who had to go otu to work to clothe her children while her husband drove around in a brand new car. I think its difficult to afford a decent amount of leave unless you have savings.

[Toothache]

Whilst I was on Mat leave we received (to our surprise) £300 per month tax credits. When they look at the overall income for the tax year they don't count any Statutory Mat Pay as income!
We changed our mortgage to a flexible one at the last minute so managed a payment holiday of 4 months. So that made the drop to £420 per month. Plus the child benefit for your first child is £70 per month. It all helps.

[Toothache]

ooops... meant to say... the made the drop to £420 per month workable!

[Bozza]

Agree that I would be unhappy with your husband Uwila. It does seem (through having read quite a few of your posts) that he doesn't take much responsibility for your DD/family life. Although I may be wrong here because that is just a general impression I've got. What does he think about you having such a short leave?

[motherinferior]

Elliott, I apologise, that was a crass way of me to put it. Some women can express and I happen to be one of them; and I had no option about returning to work because I had to fund all my time off myself (financial lack of brilliance on DP's part meant yes, all myself). But I completely agree, and didn't mean to sound as smug as I did.

[tribpot]

Thanks for the advice MotherInferior - and Elliott, thanks also for the reminder that expressing isn't possible for all. I'll have to play it by ear I think.

[elliott]

no worries MI, you weren't being crass! I just hate admitting defeat about anything and perhaps my bitterness still shows - and I did try sooo hard!! Anyway I did keep up some bf till 9 months which was just fine for us both.

[miranda2]

Haven't read whole thread, so apologies if I'm repeating. I didnt' get any paid leave last time as I was a student; we used all our savings paying for nursery so I could continue studying, worst of all worlds in some ways, but it did mean I kept on track and am now employed! This time my employers have just (!) implemented a maternity leave policy, so I will get 22 weeks on full pay - I'm taking 6 months by adding on some holiday. Don't forget you continue to accrue your normal annual holiday allowance during maternity leave, so can add this on.
Someone near the beginning of the thread said they had to take 5 months off (unpaid) due to caesarean complications, which made me think - what about sick pay? I would assume that if you go back at 6 weeks, it would be relatively likely that after a week or so you could get a doctor to sign you off sick for a further period - would this be on full pay??? If so it may be worth doing!

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[uwila]

Bozza, your assesment of my DH is accurate. He is better than he used to be. And, he thinks he does all the housework. He does do some. But, if I added up the childcare and housework and who does what I would rate it at about 75/25 split (you can guess who gets which number). I should probably add that he has improved a great deal over the last few years. But, I tink I'm just plain fed up with it. And I am bloody pissed off at the lack of maternity leave. I have half a mind (today anyway, tomorrow may be different) to just take 4-6 months off. The consequeces would be 1- we would default on our loans (but still manage to pay rent and utilities) and 2- I would have to let our nanny go. :-(

The good thing is that I would get to spend some time with new baby and DD (2 years old), and I could get back into shape and lose weight before I return to work. Ohhh... it's tempting. As for what DH would think of this, he probably wouldn't like it. I don't think he regards our situation as his fault. And, to be fair, I played a part in allowing myself to be persuaded to sign for loans and such. But, one time he even took out a loan in my name, signed for it, and told me later... Ooooohhhhhh does that make me mad now. I look back and think, why the Hell did I let him do that?

My DH believes wholeheartedly in Jam today. When he wants something he wants it really badly and he must have it now. Later never comes into the equation. Well, it's later now.

[sweetkitty]

I went on 2 weeks holiday prior to starting maternity leave though DD was boen during these 2 weeks so I wasn't even on official maternity leave. Anyway I got full pay for 6 weeks (the months they worked it out on also included my bonus so it was more than normal) then I got 90% for 8 weeks then SMP for the remaining 12 weeks. This month is the first month I have had nothing so to speak.

I was planning to go back after 6 months but we are relocating back to Scotland now so I'm planning to resign at the end of my 12 months. Also the company have had another reshuffle and I actually don't have a job to go back to! I would have to reapply and go through an interview process, fingers crossed they don't have any jobs for me then I will be made redundant.

I saved every penny from when I found out I was pregnant and then all my child benefit/tax credits which has given us a bit of breathing space coupled with no travelling expenses and not wasting money on lunches etc at work. I used to spend spend spend and am actually quite proud of how little I'm spending now. Things are going to get a whole lot tighter though as now I only have child benefit/tax credits, with only DP's salary we won't be able to make ends meet in this house although once we downsize and move it should get a bit better.

Uwila maybe by being really tight with money between now and when you need to go back you could stretch out your leave. What about a remortgage offering a payment holiday or reduced payments, maybe only pay the interest for 2 years, look at your outgoings and see where you can trim spending. Good luck x

[Kaz33]

Uwila, my DP sounds very similar to yours - he has no idea of what our incomings and outgoings are and always spent to the limit and beyond. We have had substantial three figure income over the last three years but managed to save zero. I have had the row about money with him so many times, we have put in place budgets which he then immediately ignores. I can't take away his credit cards as he travels a lot with work.

BUT, he has got better - I got voluntarily redundancy from work and am now at home with the kids which has slashed our income but also our outgoings as we no longer have a nanny. For him being made to take on the responsibility of the sole bread winner has focused his mind and now he has slashed his spending and started to concentrate on earning more money

[uwila]

Thanks, Kaz. Yes, the situation sounds very familiar. Except I am guessing that as you say DP you guys are not married and therefore his negligence won't pull down your credit as well.

Well, no more spending. I just have to be strong and say "no". If I don't, then that is my fault.

I am now seriously considering telling him that I am taking more maernity leave, and he can sort out how that impact his budget respobsibilities.

[Blu]

tbh Uwila, that is something I think you should consider (making it his respnsibility).
I took 3 months off on full pay, then went back half-time, still on full pay, for one month, then was back f/t. In advance, I thought this would be LOADS (and I wasn't a MN user then, so knew no better!).
Going back when DS was 3 months was awful, and I think contributed to depression which set in insidiously over the next year or so. I was just so tired and busy and innundated all the time. And DS was still waking more than once or twice during the night.
Release some equity in the mortgage?
Don't think you will be eligible for the new tax-free childcare voucher scheme that comes in, will you?
Get DH to flog a load of his rashly bought posessions on e bay?
Sorry, can't think of a serious suggestion - put it in DP's court!

[tribpot]

Uwila, I don't think the fact you're married makes a difference as much as the fact you have joint loans (which makes you jointly liable). Bit of a minor distinction possibly! But if the debt were all in his name your credit rating would be unaffected.

I hope you do discuss this with dh, I really don't see why you should have to give up on this special experience if you don't want to. Obviously we're all having to make compromises between what we'd like ideally and what we can afford but yours seems less of a compromise and more of a complete shafting, excuse my French!

[serenequeen]

uwila, i'm very sorry to read about your situation. i think it is such a shame. i urge you to do anything you can to take longer off - agree with those who have said make it your dh's problem. i know these things are far easier said than done, but i really hope you can get something worked out. good luck.

[Nemo1977]

hi
i took 10 weeks leave when i had my ds due to money constraints etc as my dh was finishing writing up his phd at the time. Was a nightmare as i got 90% for 6 weeks then 100 a week there after. Not far when I was picking up 1700 a month.
was stupid to go back so early was ds was 8 wks old and i didnt finish work until 39.5 wks. Try and take as long as possible even if it means you are skint for a while
good luck

[uwila]

Unfortunately, I was fool enough to bow to the powers of persuation and sign my name on some of the loans. About 70% of the debt is in his name, but so is about 60% of the income. So, even if I refused to take part in this bail out plan (which is going to amount to a Debt Management plan -- so it could actually be worse), it would still balance out when they split the household expenses and debts and so on.

Afraid I'm just going to have to accept this as it is. But, what I can do is stop agreeing to bad decisions. We just had another little dispute tonight on whether payoff a credit card that is in my name only. I stood my ground and it will be paid so that we can keep it. (when you file for debt management you have to give up every credit card on which you owe money)

Anyway, back to the original topic. I am considering just saying stuff it and taking another month or two off. I'm really not asking for the moon. I could be happy with 4 months off of work. And even in an ideal financial situation I think I would take more than 6 anyway. Ho hum.... Thanks everyone for your advice and support. Much appreciated.

[uwila]

Mean to say that even in an ideal financial situation I would not take more than 6 months off anyway.

[sinclair]

Poor you Uwila you are between a rock and a hard place. Could you bear to lose your nanny and find a new one 3 months later to save some cash? If you could see your way clear to taking 3/4 months I think you would reap the benefits when you do go back IYSWIM. My other idea is to go back at 8/10 weeks but do 2/3 days to start with- it's a cut in income but poss not as much as you think cos of how tax works. But be warned the 3 day week is highly addictive

[uwila]

Thanks, Sinclair. I had actually considered and then discarded the thought of letting her go. I decided not to because I'm not comfortable with leaving a 2-3 month old baby in the unsupervised care of someone I don't know at all. And, DD really likes this nanny too. I'm not sure I would want to yank her away. (although she also loved the childminder and quickly forgot her when we got a nanny). I am now, however, reconsidering it because it would buy me an extra month of leave.

I guess the problem can be reduced to keep existing nanny or get another month off. I like this nanny. She is good with DD in terms of nutrition and education. But, I also have some problems convincing her that she works for me. I have trouble getting her to inform me of what DD eats, what they do in the day, etc.

I have also just put in a flexible working request to work my 40 hours per week in 4 days when I return, hence giving me a full time pay cheque but allowing me every Friday to spend with my children. This would also allow me to pay the nanny for 4 days instead of 5, which would help the finances a little bit.

[miranda2]

Can recommend the 4 day week! I work full time, but because i work Sunday i get a day off midweek (i take Friday), so ds is only in nursery 4 days as dh can look after him on Sunday. It seems a really good balance. Hope they go for it!