parental leave, flexible working

[talky]

Feeling desperate and need support. Am due back from mat leave next month.I have made a formal request for flexible working and unpaid parental leave.My boss was unresonable with me whilst I was pregnant and I'm afraid that i'm being treted unfairly again.
I thought your employer could not refuse 4 weeks per child unpaid prental leave, if takken after mat leave and before the child's 5th bday. she has asked me to come in for a meeting with her manager and HR because she has concerbs about my request for the leave and flexible working.
I work for the NHS and wish to drop 3 hours a week and doubt that there can be a truely valid reson to refuse my request but my boss seems ignorant of the law. worryingly' HR also don't seem to be aware of the legal timescales and procedures.
I'm really worried about this and need any words of wisdom.

Sounds like you're stuck between rock & hard place, unless you don't go back at all, but you say that's not an option......tricky.
Is there any way you can just return for the minimum time & just do the hours/days they want you to, then leave if it's all too atmospheric & difficult?

flowery? 14 days have now elapsed since refisal of flex request at meeting.

THey declined my (good) compromise which i sent by letter to them.It was a suggestion that did not reduce hours or have any flexi time but meant working mostly 2 day week.

I got a phone call from my boss saying she had an offer, it was basically my old hours, with no aspect of a reduction in hours, working 2 days or flexibility. I was told to accept or decline this offer in 48 hours (today).

What do i do? Have asked for written reasons for officail refusal, told it's coming. THey don't seem to know what they're doing which is unnerving. Don't hold out much hope now for appeal process. Should i try to barter? THat seems to be their tack.

It's not just me or a problem with my work. 3 others have left (out of team of5) citing boss as reason. I know my request is reasonable and that it will mean i can make money at my job instead of paying for child care that is not really neccessary.

Any thoughts appreciated.

morning talky

Maybe it's lack of sleep but could you explain what the difference is between your compromise and their new proposal? I was finding it a bit difficult to follow that bit.. And it would be useful to understand how far apart they are.

That aside, you can either formally appeal it or try and barter. I think you have been more than reasonable, you are not asking much, you have been prepared to do it on a trial basis and have been prepared to compromise as well. I do think it's likely that an appeal would be heard by someone different/more senior, so from that point of view it might be worth doing. I think if it goes to someone who is not involved, and you can show how reasonable you have been and the reasons they are giving for refusal aren't good enough, it is quite likely to be agreed at least on a trial basis.

So you could do that. Or you could try and barter with your manager. It does sound as though she may not be the kind who is up for that though, not sure. Is there a middle ground between the two proposals which would be acceptable to you? In which case you could propose that informally to your manager with a view to avoiding an appeal situation - she may go for that.

Have a look at the procedure for flexible working, I'm sure it will state who would hear an appeal.

It does sound like you are not in the best working environment and forcing a request through on an appeal won't endear you to your manager if she's a bit stroppy about it already, so that's worth bearing in mind. But if you are prepared to carry on working there at least for the time being and accept that your manager might be a bit uncooperative for a while then appealing it might be a good idea.

As i think I might have said many posts back, after a while, when your new working pattern is working well and is 'normal', how it was achieved will be more or less forgotten. It will be initially a bit difficult probably, but that should settle, and if it enables you to stay there and be making money, might well be worth it.

That was a bit rambly wasn't it?! Anyway, if you can clarify how far apart the current two proposals are that would be helpful, and see if you can find what the appeal procedure would be for this as well.

lack of sleep. you have my sympathy. remember it doesn't go on for ever.pretty awful at the time tho. lots of tea and toast and expensive shower gel help.

the main differnce is that her offer means i have to work 3 days a week (instead of 2) and will to pay for 5 out of school care sessions instead of 3.

prefer not to give exact hours here, so sorry if hard to follow. basically it equates to an extra day of care for babe and 2 extra out of school sessions for older child. For 16 hpw.

i accept i have to pay for care to work but i know my request is a good one. i'm well established in my career and only asked for what i thought would work well and would make signifiacnt difference to me.

THanks.

need to respond to crap non offer today in a wasy that keeps communication open and friendly and does not stop me from being able to barter if that seems possible but keeps them on track in following legal procedure so i can appeal. do not know yet what exactly will come in written reasons.

Can you have an informal chat with your manager, say you are planning to refuse this latest offer, you have asked for the reasons in writing, is she able to give you any indication of what the reasons are. You are planning to appeal formally if necessary and you are confident your appeal would be successful, but would like to resolve it without having to do that - is she able to have a discussion with you about it?

She may say no, or may not be willing to talk because she is worried about committing herself or whatever, but it might be worth a go, you might end up finding some middle ground quickly without having to use the appeal process, and at the very least she will probably appreciate your attempt to resolve directly with her to avoid having to go down the route of appealing. Also as long as she believes you that you will appeal, she may then rather have a discussion as appealing will be hassle for her, and will expose her as being inflexible, and is likely to mean her decisions being over-ruled. She will feel much more in control and therefore less resentful, if she is able to graciously accommodate you, and she may see that and take the opportunity.