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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

S.L.U.T (have I been wrong for so many years)

87 replies

partialderivative · 29/10/2014 18:46

I am a (male) maths teacher, and have been for many many years.

I am now worried about an acronym I use to help my students remember how to draw a certain type of diagram correctly.

It should comprise:

Scale: So that you can read the numbers

Label: So you know what is being measured

Units: On both axis

Title: Every diagram need a title to be complete.

Every year this has been greeted with hilarity by all my students, and I am sure it has helped many of them feel confident that they have covered all the points that will be marked. It is not something that they forget.

Of course, I make no reference to the 'meaning' of slut in other contexts, and I would challenge any student who took that opportunity

I think I know what the responses are going to be. But it just doesn't feel that outrageous in the classroom. Everyone laughs, and the lesson carries on.

(I haven't NC, so you can check if you think I have a history of sexism or misogyny.)

OP posts:
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SevenZarkSeven · 02/11/2014 19:01

I think I probably would have laughed etc at 15 as well.

As a grown-up I am really horrified. I can't believe that you kept the girls behind after class to ask them if it was OK for you to use the word SLUT to get the class to remember something about graphs.

This reminds me of that UKIP fella and his fridge cleaning remarks.

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 02/11/2014 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitchy1nge · 02/11/2014 19:09

yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

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SevenZarkSeven · 02/11/2014 19:12

Out of interest, why do you assume that all the boys were cool with it?

At 15/16 some boys will have strong ideas around these things. Some might identify as feminists / feminist allies. Others might be absolutely mortified at you bringing sex into the classroom at what is a pretty sensitive age for both boys and girls.

What makes you assume that only the girls would have a problem with your behaviour. That's quite interesting in itself.

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noblegiraffe · 02/11/2014 19:14

Thinking about having taught teenagers for a few years now, I think I have (over)heard more girls than boys use the word slut. Sometimes in a jokey manner and sometimes to insult another girl.

I'm not sure it hits many 15/16 year olds as a misogynist term, they're not usually into that sort of feminist analysis.

Not condoning its use by a teacher, but I don't think it's the same thing as using an overtly racist term. It's entirely possible that some of the girls were left thinking that they were kept behind and not the boys because girls are more delicate and prone to be offended by bad language, rather than any sexism in the word.

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thedancingbear · 02/11/2014 19:15

OP, when I was a 15/16 old boy doing my GCSE maths, i'd've found this so creepy and really uncomfortable. And by keeping the girls back to ask if it was ok (ffs) you've made it worse. You could've dropped the acronym quietly but now everyone's going to be talking about what a sleaze you appear to be.

I wonder if it's just slightly off for certain posters to be constantly calling the OP a knob, even though it appears to be, er, somewhat accurate.

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nobutreally · 02/11/2014 19:20

Blimey, I had to check you were a legit poster as I couldn't believe a teacher would need to ask this, or would think checking this out with the (offended against) pupils was an appropriate way to behave.

Well done for recognising that this was inappropriate. To clarify why keeping the girls afterwards & getting their approval wasn't equally inappropriate. Remember being 14? Remember the pressure to fit in & conform, to be cool? Now imagine you suffered from something that a cool, edgy (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt...) female teacher frequently used as a source of humour. Maybe you had a small penis, or suffered from premature ejaculation. Something you worried about, and felt insecure about, but was embarrassing to admit to. One day, out of nowhere the teacher kept you & a few other kids back (not the whole class,so you are already feeling singled out) & asked if you were offended by the jokes she'd been making. Do you honestly think you'd have told her?

I know it's not completely analogous, because as a bloke, you don't find yourself constantly the butt of jokes and put downs about your whole sex. As such, I'm pushing it up a scale a bit to give you the idea.

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MrSheen · 02/11/2014 19:25

If you'd decided not to use it because it is derogatory, misogynous, and staggeringly crass, what was the point in singling out these girls? Why not just apologise and move on rather than getting them to reassure you that you are hilarious?

Oppressed groups are socialised to lie low, to take the joke, to not make a fuss. Girls are taught to be compliant so men don't assault them. What on earth did you expect them to say? 'You are a massively offensive wanker, Sir, see you next lesson'

I'm in my 40s and would struggle if put on the spot by my boss like that.

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MrsTerrorPratchett · 02/11/2014 19:55

You kept them after class to ask them 'anonymously'. When I was 15, I think I could have worked out that my teacher probably knew what my handwriting looked like. Just saying.

Also, at 15, aren't you supposed to be educating them? Not the other way around...

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EBearhug · 02/11/2014 20:10

If you'd already decided it was inappropriate, why did you have to keep them behind to ask?

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grimbletart · 02/11/2014 20:12

OP - tip. When you are in a hole, stop digging.

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CrumpleHornedSnorkack · 02/11/2014 20:18

Jesus fucking wept!

You are precisely the sort of colleague (yes HELLO fellow teacher here!) that I have to battle against day in day out when I counter sexism in schools.

You are part of the problem, you are not being cool or edgy you are PART OF THE PROBLEM girls face everyday to put them in their place.

Find another acronym, one that isn't so unbelievably offensive to a whole sex/class/group. And do it quickly before you damage your career forever.

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AsAMan · 02/11/2014 20:46

I wonder if it's just slightly off for certain posters to be constantly calling the OP a knob, even though it appears to be, er, somewhat accurate.

I feel like we have to be as accurate as possible, whenever possible. I can't think of a more fitting word.

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splishsplosh · 02/11/2014 21:32

I can't even understand how you ever thought this was OK in the first place - why has it taken many many years for you to question this?

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FrauHelga · 02/11/2014 21:34

What country and what culture are you teaching in, OP?

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UsedtobeFeckless · 02/11/2014 21:35

^ What everyone else said ... Are you familiar with the term Cool Girl^? At 15 you want to be that person and you'll put up with insults and snide comments and pretend you think it's funny because the alternative - that your teacher is a sexist twat who despises you - is too uncomfortable to think about.

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UsedtobeFeckless · 02/11/2014 21:37

Bugger. Major italic fail.

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Cherriesandapples · 02/11/2014 22:08

Thing is, those girls will have walked out of that room thinking you are an old letch! You are probably nicked named "paedo" now Smile

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noblegiraffe · 02/11/2014 22:44

Is the smiley face supposed to make that post come across as any less vile than it actually is?

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Cherriesandapples · 03/11/2014 04:50

Well, noblegiraffe maybe you were lucky enough to go through school without having teachers who were (to a 15 year olds mind) creepy and were subsequently prosecuted SmileSmile

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Hairylegs47 · 03/11/2014 05:52

Op are you teaching at an International school? Are you in an Arab country?

I can see why you thought it was a good way to aid their memories, BUT, you can now see how, erm, wrong you were. Remember, you are there to teach more than just maths.

I know the schools are different in the Middle East, most westerners go to International schools and the community can be quite small. There tends to be a kind of siege mentality - particularly if the locals aren't friendly - and staff, students and parents all socialise with each other and look out for each other. So things get 'relaxed'. This is one of those things that shouldn't. My very vocal 16 yrold DD might've pulled you up on that word if you were her teacher, but she would've been terrified doing so. She's 16, a kid, her mates matter and being 'mates' with the cool teacher matters too.

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claraschu · 03/11/2014 06:25

Slut and nigger are not equally offensive. If you took a survey of the general population, nigger would be deemed deeply offensive by everyone, and slut would be somewhere in the middle. Lots of people consider it a mildly objectionable but amusing word which sounds great.

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Cherriesandapples · 03/11/2014 07:06

It is all about the context though. Teenage Afro carribean boys might use the n word as a okay word between themselves but same boy may be offended if called a nigger by a white school teacher.
In this context a white male teacher is writing the word Slut on a blackboard in front of a mixed class of teenagers, apparently for laughs!

It is quite awful in this context

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MyEmpireOfDirt · 03/11/2014 07:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrauHelga · 03/11/2014 07:14

50-5 years ago the word slut meant a woman who was failing in her housewifely standards. A woman with a slow standard in terms of keeping house.

That's what my ex-MIL still thinks it means.

Now, which meaning do we think the OP was using it for?

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