Are sexual insult words ever justified? (follow on from an AIBU thread - wrong place)

[kentishgirl]

So....

slag and slut. Strong words. Anti-women/anti-feminist?

But are there ever behaviours that warrant their use?

I'm not thinking of women's sexual behaviour that is not deliberately harmful such as having sex with however many partners, in a certain way, dressing in a certain way, etc etc that at times attracts those words in a manner that of course I do not in any way support. Slut shaming and so on is appalling.

But is there a need for a word (for both sexes) that covers sexual behaviour that is deliberately harmful to others? Because if there is, I can't think of any alternatives.

We have words for positive behaviour and people. Kind, thoughtful, courageous, hero and heroine.

We have words for negative behaviour and people. Cruel, liar, murderer, mugger.

Assuming that we need these labels (and I think we do need a vocabulary that covers these things), do we need a label for sexually harmful behaviour/people?

Those who deliberately infect others with STDs?
Those who have affairs?

Which gets to why I was thinking about this. My ex had an affair. At the time (to him) I referred to her as 'your slag' and 'your slut' and her name in my head is still simply 'Slag': it has become her identity for me. Yes I know he is the one who cheated on me. There are words to cover his actions at the time: cheat; liar; manipulative; deceitful; disloyal; etc etc etc. She did not cheat, she did not lie to me, she did not manipulate me, she did not deceive me, she was not disloyal to me. These same words cannot apply to her or her behaviour. Yet she displayed 'negative' behaviour in that she knew what the situation was, and I don't think many of us support the idea that it's ok to sleep with a married man. So what words are there for this behaviour/person, if I can't use slut/slag? When I use them here, I'm not being anti-women, I'm describing the behaviour of one woman. But I am uncomfortable with those words because of the way they are usually used to attack women who aren't doing anything wrong.

Are there any alternatives? Am I wrong in thinking we need a vocabulary to express that sexual behaviour can be wrong? Should we never judge another woman for her sexual behaviour?

[RamsaySnowsSausage]

Keepit It was about a woman who had heard her (male) colleague talking about another (female) colleague. The female colleague collected up sandwiches after meetings and distributed them around departments. Because she gave them to a few different departments he called her 'a sandwich slag who gets about a bit' (paraphrasing).

Lot's of people agreed that no, that was not ok, then a load more came on and said 'lighten up ya bunch o' bitches...can't you take a joke you hairy slags' (again, paraphrasing)!

The lengths some people were going to to justify his sexist 'banter' was cringe-worthy!

[CaptChaos]

This one?

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Have only read the first few pages but ViviPru seems to have nailed it
----
"It's a pun on the word 'slag'. Implying that she is somehow shameful for giving away sandwiches to more than one group of people.

^^I grasp that, but it still doesn't make it a joke, there's no comedic structure to the main linguistics or actions... It's like one if those kiddy non-jokes "You've got brown hair - you're a poo head ha ha"

[Keepithidden]

Thanks Ramsay and Capt. May have to put wading through the whole 22 pages on hold until I have an hour or so to spare though.

[CaptChaos]

I wouldn't bother Keep, it's a not very well argued advert for cool girls, the ones who hate feminists because we're totes making the world a less fun place, cos we're the thought police, innit.

[Keepithidden]

Okay, I won't bother then Capt.

As a side note, the more I read on MN and FWR in particular, the less I think there is a good advert for cool girls. Mind you, I hate the adjective "cool" anyway, except if it's purely in temperature terms.