A really saddening conversation with a stranger today

[RippingYarns]

I had a Drs appt today, and was sat, alone in the waiting room

An elderly couple came in and sat beside me, the woman immediately next to me, the man the other side of her.

He was called to his appt and she turned to me (complete stranger) and said

(paraphrasing here, but details correct) 'Ah..I can now enjoy a few moments peace while he's out of my hair. Since he's retired he won't leave me alone to do my thing. He thinks we should do everything together, that I want his company 24hrs a day. I used to get up at 4.30 to take him to work, I liked that, it meant I had an early start to my day and I could please myself. I didn't want it to be like this, I loved working, I loved the independence it gave me. I loved my own retirement a few years ago, and the different independence that also gave me. Now the person I chose to spend the whole of my life has ruined it.I haven't seen my friends since the day he stopped work, he wants to do everything with me. I don't want to do that'

Then her DH came back, and they left. She looked over her shoulder as the went out of the door, and waved at me, gave a small smile.

Now, DH and I are nowhere near our own retirement, but I'd hate to feel like that. I don't want to feel like the 'best years' are when a woman can have her own job etc, but on retirement is given over to pleasing her partner to the detriment of her own happiness.

Not even sure this is a feminist issue, but am more interested in a feminist viewpoint of this.

Sad isn't it?

[Deathwatchbeetle]

Blimey, I am glad that won't me my life.(serial single)

I always thought men had a shed to potter about in when they retired!!!

I used to laugh at old couples in supermarkets and wonder why the old men tagged along as they were clearly useless in the shop and got told off for packing tomatoes in first then canned food. I assumed they wanted to come along or where the driver of the couple but maybe some insisted on being threre (did not want to leave wife alone???). Dismal thought.

A lot of men took up various hobbies such as golf etc. My dad became very interested in family trees (not just ours, he was very involved with helping others find theres but looking on local church records etc. My mum became a 'computer widow".

[halfwildlingwoman]

Pretty sure this won't happen to us as we both like our own space but also talk well inbetween times. My mum as this problem though. She didn't work outside the home as she has been a carer for my sister for the last 25 years, so had her way of doing things at home, the garden etc. When Dad retired he drove her mad by hanging round her all the time, following her down the garden and wanting to talk until it drove her mad! They seem to have got over it now though.