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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

If you want to sell to me, don't call me 'love'

39 replies

Kiriwawa · 13/03/2013 13:57

Some bloke from e-on (the energy supplier) just rang me asking me if I would switch back to them and they were offering a really good incentive.

He started the call with 'Hey Kiri' rather than Hello Ms Wawa which irritated me to start with. And then he called me love.

Would any of you spend £1500/year with a company who called you 'love' or am I being overly cross and unreasonable?

OP posts:
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Januarymadness · 13/03/2013 17:24

it can be patronising, condesending, dismissive and over familiar all at the same time. It does very much depend on context and tone.

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teatrolley · 13/03/2013 17:27

You had me at 'Hey Kiri'. It makes me stabby.

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Bue · 13/03/2013 17:35

This annoys the hell out of me but, to borrow from another section, I think IBU. It's totally a Northern thing and isn't meant to be sexist - my right-on Northern feminist friend calls men and women love and pet all the time. That has somehow legitimised the practice for me!

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anoldbloke · 13/03/2013 17:38

'Love' is used in Yorkshire by adults to children, men to women and women to men. It's generally an informal, egalitarian and friendly gesture in the street or in a shop.

It does seem odd in a commercial cold-call, though.

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Lessthanaballpark · 13/03/2013 18:18

Can I sit on the fence and say it depends on the context? Grin

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MrsMushroom · 13/03/2013 21:11

Oldbloke it's not appropriate on the phone though...not unless it's your old friend or your neighbour ffs.

I mean...where I'm from, it's normal to call everyone flower or petal...I don't do it when I'm speaking to clients!

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MummyPigsFatTummy · 13/03/2013 23:29

As has been said above, it is all about context. You know when you are being patronised and when you are not. In the context of the OP, it sounds like she was or at least the caller had no idea about professional boundaries. In my case the caller didn't like my attitude and used 'love' to put me down. Just made me angrier.

When the butcher calls me 'love' I know he is being friendly and have no issue with it.

All context. It isn't a north/south divide. It is an appropriate/inappropriate divide

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CardinalRichelieu · 13/03/2013 23:38

I actually quite like being called love, darling etc. by people in shops and pubs. OK, men don't call each other those things but they do call each other 'mate' and 'old son' (only in the east end) seemingly at random. So I don't find it patronising.

However, I do think that when someone is ringing you up from a company, and they know your name, they should call you Ms Whatever. I don't actually care, but in principle they should - especially when the customer is someone older. I feel a bit resentful on my granny's behalf if she gets called her first name by someone who is a total stranger. It's a bit chummy and creepy.

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CardinalRichelieu · 13/03/2013 23:38

Rumpole of the Bailey calls men 'old love' and 'old darling' and he's a legend.

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SingingSands · 13/03/2013 23:42

I live in West Yorkshire, where everyone calls everyone "love", so I'm used to it. But on a sales call I would bridle at it and expect the caller to be grovelling formal.

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Redbindy · 13/03/2013 23:44

A bit unprofessional but was it worth it financially?

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MechanicalTheatre · 13/03/2013 23:55

I complained to Pret a Manger because one of their staff called me "darling". "Love" I can just about cope with, although I don't like it, but "darling"? FUCK OFF.

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notnagging · 14/03/2013 00:10

It's not professional but it's not exclusively men saying it to women either. I get called love more from females.

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samandi · 15/03/2013 12:45

Good lord, I wonder how that approach goes down. No, I certainly wouldn't be switching back to an energy supplier if they called me by my first name and then 'love'.

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