State school teachers with DC in private

[AvoBaconHalloumi]

Is anyone here a state school teacher with a DC in a private school? We are thinking of moving DC to private over the course of the next year should they get in and a place become available, Years 3 5. I can't imagine anyone at my current school will be particularly interested/ fazed by it but just wondered if anyone has had any negative reactions? Reasons for moving is to avoid the 11 plus angst (school goes to 18) I am going FT after Oct half term so we can afford it and I feel my DCs needs would be better met at the private school.

[StrumpersPlunkett]

I have had a v strong reaction from a teacher in the staff room.
I only mentioned where my children go to school as she was really slating the school for having children who were all standing up straight with clean uniforms on the prospectus. I made the suggestion that any school paying for photographs for a prospectus would put the ones in clean uniform on the cover, which started my involvement in the conversation.
We had v specific reasons for our choice of school and she has no knowledge of that.
I suggested that we live in a country where there are options in schooling and there is no reason why as a firm believer in a strong high quality, well funded, free state education system, that it should mean that I don't make an alternative choice for my children.
She has been v pleasant since, I am also though the person who has close friends for and against brexit, on the left and right of the political spectrum. Her views don't bother me.

[ganamar]

I don't teach but I work in a state primary, and my son is at private secondary. I've had a mix of reactions - a couple openly hostile, a few who've said they would do the same if it was an option, and most just say very little about it. Of those, I shouldn't think the majority are remotely interested, but I've also sensed a few slightly pursed lips. I suspect there's a bit less judgment because my son goes to the school where DH teaches, and somehow that seems to be more 'allowed'.

[Phineyj]

I've had no issues at all in work, but then after a year of seeing the excellent independent primary in action I went over to the independent sector myself (it was mostly a desire to match the term lengths though and stop working 7 days a week). I have, however, been harangued at length on crowded trains about the iniquity of grammar schools, once by my MIL and once by an NCT "friend". Grammar schools really get people riled up. I left the NEU partly due to their prejudice against independents and grammars.

[WombatChocolate]

It's similar to having conversations with other parents - no-one really likes the idea that some kids are getting something that theirs aren't getting, unless they are of the view that it absolutely isn't better.

With both parent friends and colleagues, I find its best to say very little about the merits of the independent school and certainly not to make comparisons. Unfortunately, I've been in groups of parents where a friend with a child in an independent has raved about it and slagged off the local state provision.....which most of the other parents use! Said friend is a 'first time' Independnet education consumer and thrilled with the fact she can afford it and can't seem to help herself bragging about it, in the same way she likes to rave about her Ocado delivery or 3 Ensuite bathrooms.

Personally, I find, saying very little about the details of things like sports provision, doing 3 languages, all doing 3 sciences, small class sizes, faciltiies and resources or amazing results, works better.

When you meet fellow parents for the first time, it is quite common to ask where they go to school. However, most people don't ask any further detail. On he odd occasion when I've been asked why we made the choice we did, I've always been careful to avoid saying anything negative about the state provision or saying it was the best option for them individually - lots of people say this and seem to think it is an acceptable answer, but actually, I do t think it's a helpful one. This is because the independent option may well have been the best option for loads of individuals....but they don't get to receive it because they can't afford it. The answer implies that I as a parent chose what was best for my individual child, whilst others didn't.......at least that's certainly the way lots of people will hear it, who are a bit sensitive about other children having access to something theirs don't. So my answers tend to be a bit vague and not about anything specific and certainly not comparative.

[Scarby9]

A headteacher of a small village primary school (3 classes) moved her own child to private from class 2 because she didn't rate the teacher.
And told people so.
This was after she had been HT for about 6 years and had never taken any action in relation to this teacher.
We did judge her abilities as a head.
The school was not a happy place while she was HT.

[Phineyj]

It doesn't matter how bland and deflective you are, in my experience you do get the odd individual who takes everything you chose that isn't identical to them as a negative comment on their choices, or is simply spoiling for a fight. You do have to be guarded in what you say. I tell people if they push me, that I chose the independent for the wrap around care. If they start on the patronising 'oh it must be nice...', I point out that DH and I are both teachers so have zero flexibility on the days and hours we work most of the time. I was running the risk of losing my job if I'd left the primary place process up to the council.