It's similar to having conversations with other parents - no-one really likes the idea that some kids are getting something that theirs aren't getting, unless they are of the view that it absolutely isn't better.
With both parent friends and colleagues, I find its best to say very little about the merits of the independent school and certainly not to make comparisons. Unfortunately, I've been in groups of parents where a friend with a child in an independent has raved about it and slagged off the local state provision.....which most of the other parents use! Said friend is a 'first time' Independnet education consumer and thrilled with the fact she can afford it and can't seem to help herself bragging about it, in the same way she likes to rave about her Ocado delivery or 3 Ensuite bathrooms.
Personally, I find, saying very little about the details of things like sports provision, doing 3 languages, all doing 3 sciences, small class sizes, faciltiies and resources or amazing results, works better.
When you meet fellow parents for the first time, it is quite common to ask where they go to school. However, most people don't ask any further detail. On he odd occasion when I've been asked why we made the choice we did, I've always been careful to avoid saying anything negative about the state provision or saying it was the best option for them individually - lots of people say this and seem to think it is an acceptable answer, but actually, I do t think it's a helpful one. This is because the independent option may well have been the best option for loads of individuals....but they don't get to receive it because they can't afford it. The answer implies that I as a parent chose what was best for my individual child, whilst others didn't.......at least that's certainly the way lots of people will hear it, who are a bit sensitive about other children having access to something theirs don't. So my answers tend to be a bit vague and not about anything specific and certainly not comparative.