Gaslighting

[PersecutionComplex]

I'm having some trouble with a class and I don't know how to deal with it.
For context, I am an experienced teacher and my behaviour management is generally good. I have to work hard at it as I'm not naturally stern.
But this class is all boys, very much a hooliganism type mentality. They back each other up which makes it quite intimidating at times. I know I'm in charge and work hard at keeping them under control most of the time. But they are quite sneaky and underhanded so I can never quite catch them red handed. If I do issue a sanction, they will deny their behaviour, often with others backing them up, or try techniques to accuse me of always picking on them. They might take things from my desk and pass it around. Make noises and someone will echo the noise so I don't know which direction it is coming from. It feels like they're all in on a joke but I don't know what it is. I start doubting myself and lose confidence in my sanction. I follow through with it but the perp will convince the class that I was wrong, thus making me seem unfair.
I try to stand firm in my decisions, but they can be very convincing in their denial which is why I think they're gaslighting me.
I've never experienced this sort of psychological misbehaviour before. I sort feel like an abused victim. I feel silly to let a bunch of teens affect my confidence. I know I am in charge but I think they can sense my seed of doubt.
How can I take control again?
At the moment, the tasks in class are things like copying from the board, do a test, or worksheets so I can monitor them and watch them like a hawk. But this makes the lessons so boring. Which again, they use against me.
It's like a catch 22, line manage thinks I need to make the lessons more engaging and the behaviour will get better. When I try any activity, it gives them a chance to be silly.
I would really appreciate some advice or even just someone who can empathise!
Thanks

[Piggywaspushed]

Depends on who it is! I've done it to help a friend out in a non threatening fashion.

[teachingiswank]

Well, yes, but then it can really threaten a friendship "actually that lesson was ..."

Also, it's asking them to give up a free.

Might just be me though!

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

You could try (think it through - it's definitely not an approach for everyone and it's not my preferred style) going for a very didactic approach. It's a radical departure from what you are doing and requires real strength of will and persistence. To be honest, I wouldn't do it. Having said that, what you're suffering through sounds bloody awful and a complete flip might be worth trying.

Sit the boys in rows, no discussion, no questions, very clear, well-rehearsed explanations and demonstrations, lots of low stakes tests to recap knowledge from what you've just said, dictation, lots of retrieval practice, absolutely no talking/ discussion etc. Lots of success through easy tests aiming for 80-90% success rate. Lots of copy and memorise and repeat later on. Check out Dictogloss and all the most rigid of the neo-trads on Twitter; read The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Teachers, look at the Michaela blog, read up on direct instruction.

If you think this might be a way to go, you should discuss with your HOD and SLT to see if they will back you up - you will need their support for the change in approach. You probably would need to do some research too.

[PersecutionComplex]

I like an above poster describing it as defensive teaching. That's exactly what I have done. I have a starter, they come in and get straight in so I can do register. But any gaps at all, they start messing about! I guess I just need to work at a higher rate! It's very exhausting. I will have tighter planning. I do do too much teacher talk. When I talk, I have the excuse of them having to listen and not do anything else. But not very engaging I know. Yeah our school subscribe to the whole Paul Dix things where we can only use positive language. I think it's too soft for a class like this. I made some progress today but kicking someone out isn't a permanent solution.
Sometimes they can hit a nerve, comments like "she can't teach", "this lesson is the worst" really hurts. I try not to show it but they must sense it anyway. The only thing that keeps me from losing reality is that I know other year groups love my lessons, I am a great teacher and have been told that I am! I feel like the worst teacher in the world after a class like this though.
Thanks again for all the advice.

[TheFallenMadonna]

I work in AP and this is basically my working life when whenever we get new groups starting... No discussion in the lesson, never get into a to and fro with them. If they try to punish you by not contributing to discussions, then have something else to do. Like the arguing, it's an immediately undermining tactic, so change tack and stop them from exploiting it. I tend to have several routes planned for my trickiest groups, depending on how things are going. Absolutely use the school systems to the max.

I do think relationships are at the heart of it all, but I think you are more likely to build them with absolute consistency, and not rising to their derailing tactics (as Paul Dix would agree ).

[BelindasGleeTeam]

I have a difficult year 9 group and the more direct instruction type of lesson works so much better for me than my preferred, more relaxed modelling/scaffolding style.

But....we are getting back on track. Behaviour is better. I've had to have restorative conversations with a few and it is far from perfect but it's getting there.

[Piggywaspushed]

I wouldn't mind giving up a free for a friend. You just set very clear ground rules beforehand.

OP, I' a fan of boring them into submission. Don't worry about the boys being bored: they'd say that even if you did whistles and bells!

Do think about furniture layout and routine routine routine. But I'm sure you know that. it's massively dispiriting, especially if you are experienced and it does sound like what a lot of my colleagues are experiencing this year at my school.

[Piggywaspushed]

Bill Rogers has much better guidance than Paul Dix.

[TheFallenMadonna]

There's nothing wrong with teacher talk! I talk loads, but not when the kids aren't willing to join in.

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

Are you being supported by your HOD and SLT? What you describe is pernicious and targeted and absolutely should be the subject of a strong stance from SLT. I am
resolutely an 'it's all about the relationships' teacher by instinct but you should not be in a situation where you are feeling picked on by teenagers without that being a big issue for SLT (who should be on your side).

In a school where behaviour is genuinely good, kids should behave themselves at least reasonably for everyone - lunch supervisors, cover teachers, supply staff, the cleaners - not just for those up the hierarchy.

You sound as though you're taking it all upon yourself and doubting your own abilities but I have to say I'm outraged on your behalf! I honestly do live in the real world, but you shouldn't have to take this on alone.

This is why teachers leave the profession, which is a problem for all of us. Ask for support - you are entitled to it. Also find a colleague for general debrief for when you just need to blow off steam. Different people - back up in the face of the situation with the pupils, and emotional back up for days when it's hard. We should all stand together. Hope they do in your school. Keep your chin up!

[Piggywaspushed]

Elizabeth, that's a great post. Spot on. please come and work at my school

[truthisarevolutionaryact]

OP.
I once observed a teacher teach a year 7 lesson - fantastic lesson - confident, well planned , excellent behaviour and good outcomes. Then year 10 arrived! Same subject, but she went to pieces and they walked all over her.
She was frightened of them - and it showed. They de-skilled her and she stopped using all the assertive techniques that she'd used with year 7. I'll bet that this is what has happened to you.
So maybe look at your lesson plan and start planning your own behaviour. She stayed behind her desk for the whole lesson with year 10 - giving them the classroom to own. We worked on her tone of voice, how she walked round / owned the classoom, her use of language / tone of voice (annotated the plan with key instructions), identified trouble makers and had a plan for them, worked out that one key trouble maker was affecting too many of them so had him withdrawn for a couple of lessons etc.
Thinks of how you act and feel with your 'best ' classes. That's what you're aiming for with this group. And (can't emphasis this too much) be curious about this class.Find out their data. Start to build a positive relationship with some of them. And rather than being observed, find out who teaches them effectively and ask to go and observe them being taught. That can be very insightful.
Hope this helps a bit.

[LolaSmiles]

I love your post Elizabeth.
Consistency, quizzing, clear and setting the expectations rather than negotiating is great.

[youarenotkiddingme]

Was going to suggest collective punishment if it's all of them in it but I see you do that.

I'd start setting them research and essay homework's when they say they don't know to answers.

But do it in a positive way.

"Ok, so none of you know x y and z. So I'm going to set homework to research and write a paragraph in each of those things".

Then when they don't hand in homework you can set sanction. They can't deny it wasn't them if they don't hand it in!

[youarenotkiddingme]

Was going to say that should stop them refusing to answer if it gives them extra homework!

Year 9 are a nightmare though.

My ds is doing work experience as a drama assistant in secondary school. He's year 10.

He cane home yesterday in a foul mood because of the year 9 lesson that day.

I said now he knows why I come home looking like I've ran a marathon every day

[Girasole02]

I deal with the gaslighting by saying something like 'but I saw YOU. If YOU don't want to be seen doing something, don't do it'. Then walk away. Don't respond further. Another one is 'if you want the last word, have it '. Don't engage further. Both work well. Silly behaviour often gets 'you're year 10, not aged 10' do this with a smile and they get flummoxed!!!

[ginforall]

I had this with a class last year. It felt like the bullied me. They were year 8 and it was awful. I felt like no one really understood what I was going through with them. I'm not sure how I managed to tell you the truth, I used to get so anxious before the lesson and very upset afterwards. I've been teaching 10 years and dealt with a number of tricky classes before, but this one group really got to me and it massively knocked my confidence.

So I get it and just wanted to say that it is not your fault. Our school policy is warning, debit, removed from lesson. As saying this out loud was causing arguments as you describe I started writing in down on a piece of paper I kept on my desk. If time I also wrote down briefly what they had done. At the end I would then issue their sanctions. It at least saved arguments in the lesson. I had starters out on the desk for them so there was no excuse when they came in and I also got them to pack away sitting down at their desks as the end of the lesson was always chaotic. The packing away sitting down thing worked well and I used it with other classes too.

It was a battle and I never felt like I won them over but I made it to the end. I asked my HOF not to have that year half this year so I didn't have to teach the same kids now they are in year 9. It might be worth asking the same if possible? So that at least you know you don't have to have the class next year too. It meant I could really just count down the lessons this time last year which I found helped.

[PersecutionComplex]

Some more great tips from everyone and @ElizabethinherGermanGarden and @truthisarevolutionaryact
I think some of you have experienced exactly what I'm going through, which is quite reassuring, but I'm sorry that you have as well! I feel like they are trying to bully me, which seems ridiculous.
Unfortunately I have them for next year too as it's a GCSE class.
I'm reading "boys don't try?" to see if I can gain any insight. One to one they are not too bad, but it's when they are ganging up!
I will plan my behaviour. And have an individual plan for the ring leaders. I'm prepared for next week!! Bring it on 💪

[Piggywaspushed]

I enjoyed Boys Don't Try . Not sure how much it will help you practically but it's thought provoking.

[GHGN]

Worksheet with short, easy questions handed out when they walk through the door so no excuse to the start of lesson not working.
Short tasks 10 minutes each during the lesson. If they are boring so be it. You are not there to entertain them. They will have to earn a less boring lesson, not the other way round.

While they are working, occasionally I work from the back of my classroom. Sometimes, I sit in the middle of two students to help them but don't stand up when I finish. Other somehow forget about me and start doing their things. It is quite easy to spot the offender and suddenly stand up and tell them I have been watching them for 5 minutes, even though it is only 1 or 2.

I also learnt to write on the board without completely turning my back on the class. If I have a powerpoint to show them, I can stand at the back of the room or walking around, using remote control to go through the slide and never lose sight of the whole class.

[PersecutionComplex]

Oh forgot about the latest thing this week...
Luckily, I looked over at the right time and saw one of them take out a calculator to pretend to be talking in to it. I'm guessing I'm supposed to tell them off for having phone out, then they can argue and make a fuss/ have a laugh at my expense. But I ignored him for a couple of minutes, then said in a flat/ bored tone, "calculator away please".

[Fossie]

Wow this is me. Fine with a good class but struggling with the same behaviour with one class. Just to say how encouraged I am to read this. My worst ring leader has ‘left’ the school so I think that is making it easier. Some very badly behaved pupils have quite awful parents who won’t support me/the school so you can see why they try to get away with what they do.

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

Well done Persecution! That sounds really well-handled.

Just reading the PP's post about writing on the board without turning your back reminds me: if you haven't got a visualiser, get one. You can project your writing without ever turning your back. Have it permanently plugged into the projector on a separate wire from your computer so you can switch between sources. I think they work best on a slightly higher surface eg a cupboard so you can stand to write. Some good ones are quite expensive but will last, if school is buying one. If you are getting one for yourself, there are plenty on amazon around the £40 mark that are fine. School should buy them!

[Scarydinosaurs]

I would suggest now you’ve cracked a bit of their behaviour, you’re now at that tricky point of getting the learning sorted because for ages you’ve not been allowed to teach!

I would make it a focus now to let them feel success- make it all about what they’ve learnt, how their knowledge is improving, and how well they’re recalling what they’ve done in previous lessons.

I’d disagree that teacher talk is a bad thing- could you use a visualiser in your lessons? This gives you a chance to a) model without having to turn your back and b) deliver teacher talk with an engaging visual.

It also gives you a chance to use low key praise when you use student’s work as an exemplar and they start getting positive attention.

[Scarydinosaurs]

@elizabethinhergermangarden teacher brain snap!