Friendly names to call kids who make a stupid mistake

[noblegiraffe]

You know, the ones you have a good relationship with, not talking about berating some sensitive y7.

What, in mock exasperation, would you call a pupil who had e.g got a fiendishly difficult differential equation question wrong and you'd just spotted it was because they'd written 1x1=2?

[Toomuch2young]

Our teachers were great at this - our maths teacher would call us amoebas when we got something silly wrong - a single called organism would know the answer she would say! English would be 'tweedle dum and tweedle Dee' if two pupils were acting up a little.
Our languages teacher would often say 'one born every day and it is always you' which I never really got!
But it all felt in good humour and no one got offended.

[Toomuch2young]

*celled

[PurpleDaisies]

It I different at school now but teachers are still in authority, or should be, so jokey names are risky and can be undermining to teacher and pupil relationships

You can absolutely be in authority and still have a joke with your classes.

[senua]

Rather than use a name can you express exasperation at the situation. So something like "what planet are we on?" or "are we still using the decimal system?" or make some comment on the time/space continuum.
I'm trying to think of a TV or film catchphrase that might appeal and fit the situation but failing miserably ... Blackadder used to have a good line in put-downs but they are probably too strong and out of date, showing my age.

[PurpleDaisies]

senua these might make you giggle...
metro.co.uk/2015/06/15/blackadders-best-insults-the-definitive-list-of-his-very-best-lines-5238559/

Not sure they're quite right for the classroom though!

[80Kgirl]

I think it is s bad idea. It could backfire, if you misjudge the relationship/child. And, even if it is spot on with the particular child, how will the other children watching feel? It will show a certain casual, informality in your relationship with a favoured child that the others feel left out of. It's nice that you feel an affectionate bond with many if your students, but there are s lot of good reasons to remain professional despite the temptations.

[RiverTam]

I was very bright at school. If a teacher had name-called me and the class fall about laughing I would have been humiliated and do embarrassed. But of course I would have laughed along because God forbid I should disturb a teacher's rapport with her class .

[senua]

Thanks purple.

[NaughtToThreeSadOnions]

Non teacher here, slightly taken aback by how many parents don't get this. I can tell which teachers my DC really like/respect, because they are the ones that are allowed to tease them without DC taking offence.


Right ok so name calling is suddenly allowable is it?!

So if your child came home and went such and such other kid who's known as the school bully called me a fuck wit numpty bastard take your pick you'd be straight up to the school to complain wouldn't you?!

If a policeman called you thick which is what all these numpty and muppet names mean you'd be offended and embarrassed wouldn't you? A teacher is in a position of authority and should not be name calling.

I like the what planet are we on as long as it's what planet are WE, rather than you.

[scoobyloobyloo]

When did anyone say they would call a learner a 'fuckwit numpty bastard'?

[seven201]

I personally don't call the kids anything. It really wouldn't go down well with management. We are of course able to laugh with he kids at mistakes. The other day we were having a debate and I said to one girl 'put your case forward' and she looked at me for a second then moved her pencil case towards the front of her desk. The whole class was in hysterics, including her.

[SoupDragon]

Don't you mean you would tell them their teacher was probably right? :o

No, because I'd want them to admit they were a numpty themselves :o They usually do...

[SoupDragon]

TBH, it all depends how it is said. I imagine that the people advocating it here all use it in a jovial and jokey tone and know the children well.

Unlike DSs chemistry teacher who (allegedly) blew up at his class and said they were the thickest top set he had ever taught. That was neither jokey nor jovial. (DS wasn't bothered so I let it go)

[SoupDragon]

if your child came home and went such and such other kid who's known as the school bully called me a fuck wit numpty bastard take your pick you'd be straight up to the school to complain wouldn't you?!


LOLOL. Yes, because that is exactly the same thing isn't it? 1) It's the bully so doesn't have a jovial relationship with the other child. 2) "fuck with numpty bastard" is not the same as "numpty"

I worry for the resilience of the future population if people are unable to understand the difference between a bully and friendly banter.

[stealthsquiggle]

The OP said "What, in mock exasperation, would you call a pupil who had e.g got a fiendishly difficult differential equation question wrong and you'd just spotted it was because they'd written 1x1=2?"

If the ansŵer was "fuckwit" then yes, I would have an issue. But "numpty", "muppet" or "doofus" ? - I really think that any parent who has an issue with those sort of terms within what is a close working relationship (between teacher and pupil) is not doing their child any favours at all. A certain degree of resilience, not to mention a sense of humour FGS, are pretty essential to surviving and thriving in the real world.

[ceebie]

I once had a brain-struggle trying to decide whether to call someone a Noodle or a Goose. So I went with "You... you... noodley-goose!"

[stealthsquiggle]

If either of my DCcame home and said "Mr/Mrs X called me a muppet" the conversation would go something like:

Me: well, were you being a muppet?
DC: yeeeeesss
Me: well there you are then

Or, just possibly:

Me: well, were you being a muppet?
DC: no
Me: then what made Mr/Mrs X think you were?
DC: well I had put 1+1=3 in the middle of the equation I was solving
Me: so, being a muppet, then?
DC: s'pose so.

[ceebie]

Whether it's appropriate depends not only on the word, but also the context and situation. So a teacher shouting "You numpty" to a pupil across a classroom is not ok, but a teacher looking at a pupil's work and saying "oh look, you numpty", in an affectionate tone and with a smile is entirely different.

I'm pretty sure most teachers are able to judge the child and the situation. If they can't, then yes of course they should refrain from using any names.

[FlemCandango]

I stand by my assertion that any singling out of your pupils in a way is inherently risky. It may well be that in your head you are hilarious, well timed and apporpo in your comedy routine name calling. But the Venn diagram of people I have met that think they are funny and just having a laugh with you, and the people who are funny has quite a small intersection. I think my best teachers saved their insults for 'the man' and kept us kids in on the joke with them not at us.

It is all very well fearing for the poor resilience of this generation but I know many people of all ages sensitive to being laughed at. Grown men who still remember being small and being made to feel smaller by a sarcastic teacher. Who the hell can dictate what the correct emotional response to 'banter' should be.

In a classroom it is stressful and learning is hard and teaching is hard, if calling someone a silly sausage helps to lighten the mood, great. But it is not the only comedy that can be inserted into the lesson, horrible histories use frequent references to poo, that works a charm on my kids.!

[FlemCandango]

Argh -APROPOS

[ceebie]

Flem I was assuming we were talking about kids who are often physically bigger than the teacher and who are well past the poo-is-hilarious stage?

[FlemCandango]

My nearly 12 yo still finds it funny but it was just an example. Teachers need to find their own material. I am pretty sure a large proportion of the world population never grow out of the poo/ someone falling over is hilarious stage ... As that would explain the popularity of gross out comedy films.

[ceebie]

The OP was not discussing general comedy in the classroom, it was about reacting to a daft mistake made by a pupil, so not really a situation where referring to poo or falling over would work?

So, you could keep your serious face on and just say to your (say, perhaps, 15-year old) pupil "You've made a mistake here, you put 1X1=2".
I would suggest that this is actually MORE likely to make the pupil feel embarrassed and stupid.

Or, you could judge the situation and the pupil to be receptive to a light-heartered, "Oh look, you put 1x1=2, you noodle!" which, possibly, might be a way of the teacher letting the pupil know that they know it was just a silly mistake, and not a reflection of their actual intelligence level?

[ceebie]

Actually I'm not sure why I'm defending this, I'm not a teacher (yet) and not sure that I would actually use any such words, even with secondary kids. However as a parent I don't see the problem as long as it's friendly.

[dimots]

I use the word clown with my own children. Its light hearted without being offensive. As in 'That jumper is back to front, you clown!'