Regretting the cat decision - need advice

[toastyloki]

Hello all,

I'm new here but this thread seemed about right for my particular situation. A quick background: I'm 16 weeks pregnant, with my first. About two weeks ago, my husband and I adopted 2 cats from the shelter - we had already met them before the holidays and so it wasn't a spontaneous decision. I've had cats my whole life growing up.

So, the last two weeks, I haven't felt any sort of bond or connection to the cats like I normally do with animals. I feel distant from them, and resentful that the entire apartment smells like litter. I don't know why I feel this way - because beforehand I was very excited to pick them up.

However, now I don't know what to do. Since it's only been two weeks, I don't htink the impact would be so big if we brought them back or found them a new home. Are my feelings temporary? Or is there a chance I resent them even more after the baby is born?

Thank you in advance for all the advice :)

[Shmithecat]

eachandevery, I have 5 cats, 2 litter trays and a toddler in my house. It's quite possible to manage to keep on top of mess and not let your kid eat cat shit.

[LondonLassInTheCountry]

Ideally. You are not suppose to change the litter, or go near the feaces...
Because Feaces carry a parasitic infection called toxoplasmosis. Which is very harmful

[Shmithecat]

And incredibly rare London. When I was pregnant I had 11 indoor cats (I rescued and fostered). I scooped and cleaned all the litter trays. Washing my hands and not eating cat poo was a fairly simple and effective way to avoid it...

[LondonLassInTheCountry]

Just saying........

A risk is a risk

[EachandEveryone]

Not that rare. Ive seen it and very nasty it is too.

[Fluffycloudland77]

I think cats are only actively infectious for a few weeks.

Our trays on a worktop in the utility.

[toastyloki]

Hi LittleFeile, thank you for the input. Our neighbors will be coming by to meet them tonight - an older couple who said they have been wanting cats for more than 6 years now. Fingers crossed that they take them - because then they would be going to a good home and not back to the shelter.

Hi EachandEveryone, I've never had a toddler so I can't answer that, but in my head the toddler would have a separate space from the cats. Window might be something we could look into.

[ButteredScone]

You shouldn’t be dealing with cat litter when you are pregnant. Your body probably knows that.

Tbh, I adore cats but I think this was a mistake and you should either get a cat flap fitted or regime them.

[toastyloki]

Hi London, I've heard the risk and DH has been cleaning out the litter for me, which is great.

My two cents about toxoplasmosis, however - I've been raised around outdoor cats, done lots of gardening, eaten plenty of smoked food (salami was my favourite for breakfast)... but I tested negative for ever having toxo. Therefore I'm also a bit sceptical about how common it is. But still, now that I am pregnant I don't clean the litter tray or eat salami. Might as well be a little careful ;)

[toastyloki]

Hi Buttered, thank you for the input. I agree that "mother nature" is playing a bit of a role in how I am feeling about the cats. I just never expected something like this - I've always had house pets and loved animals :/

[Broken11Girl]

Sorry but why did you adopt cats when you're pregnant? Of course a baby will take all your time and energy.
You do know you can't handle used litter when pregnant? Disease risk.
I do resent my cat sometimes, but also love her so much it makes it worth it. That bond took time to develop after I adopted her, but I did enjoy her from the start. You aren't from the sound of it and are understandably focused on other things.
I would rehome them, I'm afraid,

[Evelynismyformerspyname]

Toxoplasmosis is incredibly common not rare - it's because it's so common that most people have already been infected before adulthood that fewer women are infected and pass the infection to the foetus. If you haven't already been infected then the risk to the baby is very much a concern. The problem is that most people don't know whether they've had it because either they had no symptoms or the symptoms were mild and generic and dismissed as just a virus. It's only dangerous for the developing foetus.

[toastyloki]

Hi Broken, yeah of course in hindsight we wouldn't have adopted them at all. We have been talking about adopting cats for a few years now, and our thinking was just - now the time is right. We would have 6 months with them before the baby came to get them settled and bond.

Hi Evelyn, I have also read that most people have already been infected. But as I said in an earlier comment, I've never been infected.. but I never tried to avoid it before now.

[Evelynismyformerspyname]

toast that doesn't mean it isn't common though. Nits are common, it's common to have fillings by the time you're 40... I have never had nits nor a filling even though I have spent a lot of time around children and eat too much sugar. Doesn't prove nits and fillings aren't common, that spending time around children/ eating sugar respectively aren't risk factors, nor make me immune from ever getting nits or needing a filling.

We have adults where I work with microcephaly and global delay as result of congenital toxoplasmosis.

Indoor cats are less likely to spread it if course, because they aren't outdoors eating other cats poo, or things that have been in contact with other cats poo...

[toastyloki]

Hi Evelyn, it's a fair point, and maybe I've just gotten "lucky" until now.

[Middleoftheroad]

I felt this way with all my cats at first, especially when we bought home a paor. Resented cleaning litter trays and couldn't bond at first.

Had various cats over years.

I was so relieved when they could go freely outside. A bond forms over time for me.

However this may not happen if yours wont have a cat flap and you have to clear litter and look after a baby.

Hope your neighbours can give them a nice home if you're worried for the future.

[Middleoftheroad]

pair even

[Wolfiefan]

Please don't take on any more cats OP. They can live for over 20 years. They aren't a pet to take on and then dump a few days later. I'm surprised the shelter didn't make you sign to say you would return them if things didn't work out.

[AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight]

If the cats aren't kittens, and especially if they have been outdoor cats, they are likely to have already had toxo. (If they have always been indoor, and only eat commercial cat food, they are pretty unlikely to have caught it in the furst place). Usually, being careful with hygiene and washing hands thoroughly after dealing with cat litter is sufficient to prevent infection. Most infections are from raw or undercooked meat.

If you decide to keep them, try Cat's Best litter. You can get it at Kaufland (for instance).

[AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight]

First place.

[toastyloki]

Hi Wolfie, I'm well aware how long cats usually live. No pet is a pet to take on and "dump" a few days later, but I think it's better to give them up after a few days rather than a few years.

Hi ElderlyLady, thank you for the tip! :) we will look into it

[Wolfiefan]

Poor cats. Actually it would be better to think through the implications of taking on a pet before taking on a commitment.

[Luxembourgmama]

I resented my cat and didn't have much time for her when my DC is born. I'd send them back rather than resent them.

[Bringondrunkfeb]

i hope it went/goes well with the neighbours - seems like a good decision. People make mistakes, and op has realised this one quickly, not everyone is a perfect planner who thinks through things and you can't always control for the way you feel if you don't anticipate those feelings beforehand. It's a sign of being a responsible grown up to recognise and fix mistakes rather than let them turn into increasingly bad situations.

Seems a good decision op. I do agree having cats with no litter trays is far preferable - i have a gate on my utility so my toddler can't get in, i did know someone who re-homed cats because she didn't have a small area she could gate the cat litter off and it was a nightmare with 2 small ones.

[toastyloki]

Wolfie, we did think through the implications. But it would be no different if I brought them home and DH or DC developed an allergy to them. I would put their health above the cats and immediately rehome them, no questions asked. In this situation - I am here asking advice if other pregnant women have felt the same, if this could get better or worse - BEFORE the cats are completely acclimated to our home.

Hi Luxembourg and Bringon, thanks for all of the input. Crossing my fingers for tonight with the neighbors.