We are at a total loss, scared he will kill her.

[sebsmummy1]

My two year old son is terrorising the cat on a daily basis. In front of me, away from me, it doesn't matter where we are really as he doesn't understand what he is doing is wrong.

He has speech delay so I can't explain what he is doing is cruel, although I obviously say that to him ( I know they can't feel empathy at a young age). But he gets told off every time I see him be unkind and he will get a Time Out in his room, I will shout and generally act extremely cross, he cries etc etc. but there is no comprehension that the behaviour isn't to be repeated as he will do exactly the same thing moments later.

He gets praised for 'being kind'. We do brushing and stroking, he kisses her, but then 5 minutes later he will hold her off the ground by her throat or throttle her whilst sitting on her

She is a rescue cat and we've had her just under a year. She is the most passive creature I have ever known. She will not retaliate, she doesn't hide, she just takes it from him. We have stairgates so she can get away, a cat flap that she has constant access to, but she chooses to put herself in his path constantly. I find myself trying to keep them separate and then minutes later she has jumped the stair gate, cried (she is very vocal) so of course he knows where she is, and it all starts all over again.

Do you think the kindest thing would be to rehome her? She is the kindest cat that ever was and I'm so scared he will break her neck one day and that will be that basically

[sugarplumfairy28]

I think the easy answer would be to rehome her yes, but I think that's been said enough. I'm not sure what your reason is behind having a cat, for me I have a total obsession with animals fullstop. I studied for a degree in Animal Management and always planned to have children and animals in my life. A life without pets is a somewhat empty one for me. We had a similar situation with DD.

My dogs are older than my children and they have had to learn how to treat them, luckily one dog puts up with anything, and the other will hide (even if he sees his own shadow) if he doesn't like something. We started our cat collection when DS was 10 months old. Basically from the very start I made it clear that he wasn't allowed near the kittens without me, I would sit with them and encourage him to stroke them etc, there was basically a 2 metre ish rule, he wasn't allowed to get closer without me, if he wouldn't listen I would remove the kittens.

DS was 3 and a bit when we had DD born and 3 and 5 and a half weeks after she was born, we had 10 kittens born. (We kept 3) We worked off the same basis, but she did seem to have much more of a connection to one kitten especially. He would seek her out, put himself between her and anyone else, wrap himself around her to sleep, and it was a bit more difficult because of this mutual interest. When she was about 1 -18 months, she would pull him about, try and carry him round by his neck, sit on him, squash him etc We had to go right back to basics, not in the room together alone, had to take him away somewhere else, it was as much training him as it was her. She is 4 tomorrow, and my little cat lady.

If having a cat is really important to you, strip it back to basics, if you're not watching them separate them, the cats now out of habit join me in the loo. Don't react to bad behavior, but sure him how rewarding good behavior is. Good luck x

[lottieandmias]

I think you should rehome her - this could traumatise her and it's not fair on her ultimately.

[MrsCakesPrecognitionisSwitched]

Thanks for the update OP. I'm glad you've got control of the situation. Hopefully your DS will quickly learn from the clear the message you are now giving him.

[maplebaconchips]

Please rehome her, even the kindest animal can snap and lash out under such circumstances, and for her sake too.

[sebsmummy1]

Sugarplum that was a lovely post and thank you so much for writing it.

We have always had animals, cats and dogs primarily but I worked with horses most of my life and have looked after sheep, hand reared lambs, chickens, ducks, kept fancy rats etc etc.

When I moved out we were in rented properties that wouldn't allow animals, we now have our own home so we decided a pet would be nice as DS is an only (I'm part of the recurrent miscarriage thread - have has the year from hell). I had this stupid romantic idea that an adult cat would be a friend for him as I remember I treated my cats like my best buddies when I was growing up. I knew he could hurt a kitten so purposefully went on the lookout for a large adult cat that needed a new home (we have a beautiful big garden down a quiet cul-de-sac with few local cats) I'm a SAHM so am around a lot, the whole thing seemed like a fabulous idea. Little did I know I have taken ownership of a big silly gentle giant of a cat that loved being fussed even if it's brutal!! When DS goes over to Mum's house her cats just keep out the way, no problem, but my cat has no sense.

Anyway I'm still going strong today, all is good. She has been petted through the stairgate and is now upstairs asleep on the bed in the sun and we are downstairs. She will probably stay there until this evening and DS will only go up later to have a nap, so she is very happy indeed. I know they will be the best of friends in the future we just have to manage this period right now and I'm determined to make this work. She has had another upset in her short life, I want her to have a permanent home with us.

[sebsmummy1]

• enough upset