Rescue centre suggested PTS for my nervous cat

[SilveryMoon]

My youngest cat T is about 3 years old. She is the most nervous animal. She came to us about 2 years ago from someone I know who was convinced the cat had killed her birds.
T came from a home with 3 kittens, a dog who'd just had a litter, and 3 children who are quite unruly.
This woman told me that T had never been outside, but she'd had enough of her after she killed the birds (the family were out at the time, so she's got real way of knowing exactly what happened).
I'd been looking for a friend for my older cat O so I told her to bring T round.
T has never really settled. Sometimes she seems ok, she approaches us and allows us to stroke her, but if you so much as move she's out of the room in a flash. She won't eat if there is anyone in the room at the time and she won't sit with any of us. During the day she spends most of her time in a hiding hole and will come out when things are quiet and there's less chnace of anyone moving.
If she is on one side of the room and I move my hand to pick up a drink (for example) she is out of the room instantly.
Along with this, she urinates on my things. Clothes if they are left on the floor, bathroom mats, beds etc. I have had her to the vets a number of times and there is no infection or other medical condition.
She has not been upset (to my knowledge) by the other cat. They do not fight but are quite affectionate to each other.
I recently found out that T did infact go outside quite a bit before coming here (we live in a first floor flat).
I think that if I let her out, she wouldn't come back and even if she did she would not walk past a person holding a door open to get back in. The minute you opened the door she'd run away. I know she would. Well, I wouldn't even be able to get her outside, she'd have to follow me down the stairs (she won't be picked up) and when I call her, although she comes sometimes, she won't if I want something.
She urinates outside the tray (she also does use the tray) every few days. I clean the area with the enzyme stuff or with biological washing powder and it's not always in the same place she does it. I have a feliway plug in, but it doesn't seem to have made much difference.
I'm at the point now where I can't do this for the next 16 years. I get home from wherever I've been and am on my knees sniffing around trying to find the lattest puddle
I spoke to a rescue place and the woman there said I need to think about how stressful it might be for T to go there and then be rehomed. And if she continued with the urinating, the next family might take her back, at which point they'd put her to sleep anyway for her own welfare
She then said I could let her out or I could request that my vert put her to sleep. She thinks that might be the less stressful option for T.
I really don't know what to do. I have no idea if T is stressed with just us or if she is stressed with life. I have recently been in touch with her previous owner who said she was wild the minute she got her (from a pet shop) and had always urinated in the house (thanks for the warning).

Can I have some opinions?
TIA

[SilveryMoon]

She spends lots of time at the top of the airing cupboard. The other cat doesn't go in there.
She also likes to sit at the top of a big scratch-post frame thing we have.

Do you think it's unlikely she will settle due to the neutering?

[thecatneuterer]

I'm dubious that she'd be any better anywhere else. You've said she loves your other cat, so I don't think she'd be happier as an only cat.

And as long as your household isn't too manic, which is doesn't sound as though it is, and your children don't torment her, which it doesn't sound as though they do, and you let her come to you on her terms, which you do, then I can't imagine that anywhere else would really be better.

So I think she's in as good a place as she can be for her. However if the pissing doesn't improve then it will be intolerable for you and her only option will be somewhere where she can live happily and with shelter but not in a house - or maybe with access to someone's conservatory where they won't care about a bit of piss.

I'm glad you're going to give it a bit longer and I really hope things work out.

[SilveryMoon]

Thanks.
The pissing is a nightmare! I get really annoyed when it happens, but then the following day, I'm ok. Like now, I feel alright, but I know when it happens again (probably tomorrow or wednesday) I'll be thinking why am I doing this?
Anyhoo, gotta shot now, but thanks again for coming back to the thread and being so nice and understanding

[thecatneuterer]

And as I said about the neutering. The effect of not having had it done soon enough is always reversible. It just takes a while for everything to calm down.

[SilveryMoon]

Fingers crossed then. From what I've been told, it is becoming apparent that she has done this from the get-go, so it might just be her

[minnisota]

I also recommend zylkene. have used it many a time for cystitis when nothing else has worked. sometimes it can take a while to kick in so bear with it. my mil has used it for fireworks.
my mum took in a family of semi ferals, she had them for six years before she died. one had just started to get on her lap. still couldn't touch her though.
another thing possibly. . flower remedies. . certainly won't do any harm.
my mum always said she wanted them pts when she died. she felt noone else would put up with what she did (including weeing everywhere). she hated the thought of them being chucked out or worse.

[Fluffycloudland77]

Any news?

[VivaLeBeaver]

Have you ever watched the TV show "my cat from hell"?

An episode the weekend before last had exactly the same problem.

The show has a cat expert who goes and makes suggestions to sort it out. Basically he went and said the cat needed to feel more secure and made suggestions in how to do this. They had to make a safe cat area with loads of hidey holes and places to climb. They also had to put cat litter trays in all the places the cat would pee, even on kitchen work tops!

The litter trays were temporary, as things improved they took them away.

They also had to change things which the bloke thought were a specific trigger for making the cat nervous. In their case they had other cats coming in the back garden so they took steps to try and stop that.

[TheNunsOfGavarone]

Poor cat and poor you - it does sound as if she had a rough start in life, coming from a pet shop. I don't have any relevant experience or advice to post but just wanted to say good on you for trying your hardest for her. I hope very much that the advice given here helps her to settle down.

[TamzinGrey]

I was going to mention the show My Cat From Hell too, but VivaLeBeaver got there first. The cat expert is called Jackson Galaxy and several of the cases shown have involved cats that wee everywhere. The cause is invariably down to the cat feeling frightened or threatened by something, and Jackson always manages to cure the problem.

There is some excellent advice on his website //www.jacksongalaxy.com

It's so good of you to be making such an effort with this poor little kitty. I do hope that it all turns out alright in the end.

[SilveryMoon]

Thanks everyone.
We will keep at it and see how she gets on. She has access to airing cupboards and closets etc that are filled with crap good for climbing and hiding, she spends a lot of time in these places.
In the past few days she seems to have grown rather attached to a new catnip soft toy which is so nice to see! She carries it around and chases after it, she's not done anything like that before.
I will lokok at the link a bit later about cats from hell, she can definitely be that at times!
I'd love to get a behaviourist round, but ££££ although would be cheaper than replacing my mattress every 6 months when it can't take anymore cleaning.
She does seem to be quite attached too because she'll normally follow me around and they both stand guard when I'm in the bath, one cat at each end up on the rim, staring out the door
We'll see.
Maybe there is hope after all (fingers crossed)

[SilveryMoon]

I've just put a picture on my profile of them together. In love or what?!

[cozietoesie]

Awwww.

[issey6cats]

aaawwww they are both georgous from your post it sounds like shes never really been trained to use the tray and being inside she wont be able to pick where she wants to wee like she would outside, could you maybe put her and the litter tray in say the bathroom when you go out , stop her going in the bedrooms, and make sure that clothes are always put away straight after ironing or put in a covered box before washing as this would lessen her territory for weeing everywhere and hence lessening your stress, it might not stop her weeing but there would be a smaller area to check out for you and to clean

[SilveryMoon]

She does use the tray. I've tried keeping them out of the bedroom but our doors are push release there is no catch so they can get in. Don't want to shut her away when we're out either.
She knows where the trays are I see her using them.

[cozietoesie]

If you get some clumping litter, you'll find that you can clean them every time she uses them by removing the clumps that have formed. She might be real fussy - among other things - so it's worth a try.

How is she getting on with her new soft toy?

[SilveryMoon]

Hi cozie Yes, I brought some clumping litter and have added some to the regular litter.
I 'clear' the trays of mess daily, in the morning I scoop out the mess and the discoloured litter so now everytime I do that, I top it up a bit more with the clumping litter.
I agree, think she is fussy.
I wash the trays out once/twice a week.

[LEMisafucker]

Has the vet checked her thyroid function/ size?

[cozietoesie]

If you get as far as all clumping (which shouldn't be long because I reckon at the next tray change you could just use all clumping and see how it goes) and have a decent depth, you'll find you don't need to wash out twice a week. Just hoick out the clumps and the poo for onward disposal and add in a little fresh clumping to make up the difference. Whole exercise is real fast so you can clean up every time you see the tray has been used.

[SilveryMoon]

LEM The vet says she is stumped about this. She doesn't know what to say about it, T is a perfectly healthy cat. I will check next time I speak to her though.
Cozie The next full litter change is due saturday morning, and I will go completely clumping for that.

[LEMisafucker]

Its a long shot but cats that are hyperthyroid tend to be very nervy so its worth checking. Your vet may have already considered this though

[cozietoesie]

Good luck for Saturday, then. I know that Seniorboy would 'not be pleased' if he had to use a dirty tray. (His are cleaned as soon as I see they've been used - or at any rate allowing enough time for pee clumps to 'set'.(

[SilveryMoon]

Ok, I'll start checking the tray when I get in from work and again before I go to bed, see if more frequent clearing helps.
Thanks LEM the vet has taken bloods and urine etc on a number of occasions. I don't know exactly what they are testing for though, so you're right, will be worth checking. She said that she is sending a group email to other vets to see if they can think of something she might have missed.
She said she will perform the dreaded injection if that's what I decide, but I'm trying to avoid that as far as is reasonably possible.
I've had a lot of reassurance from here that I'm not doing completely wrong by her with what we provide, lots to think about and try though

[cozietoesie]

It might indeed help. Some of them are fussy blighters.

Let us know how she gets on.

[SilveryMoon]

Will do, thanks cozie