What should I do? Getting a puppy has catapulted me back into depression.

[Terribleperson2018]

We have a 13 week old labrador puppy. Had him from 8 weeks. Much wanted by everyone in the family but I knew the vast majority of looking after him would fall to me. No problem, I thought, I grew up with dogs, I love dogs. How wrong I was.

I just can't cope with him. Rationally, he's not that bad but I've noticed that over the past 5 weeks, I'm falling into depression (I have a history of depression and anxiety although nothing for years now).

Looking after him is just so hard - not getting enough sleep, constant vigilance as he'll try to eat every stone he sees so he can't go into the garden unless I'm literally standing on top of him, forever chewing the furniture, jumping on the sofas, mouthing us, tugging and ripping my clothing, whining and weeing if I dare put him in the kitchen so I can get on with something else like going to the loo for 3 minutes. I could go on.

I have my eyes on him from 5am to 10pm (when my husband takes over for an hour) every single day. I just can't do it anymore. I'd rather walk out this house and never return. I want to rehome him for the sake of my sanity but how the fuck do I justify that?

Any words of wisdom?

Same as many I will never do puppy again

Is he from show or working lines

I have a golden lab who luckily matured fast and the teen arse hole stage was only few weeks
By 18months he had matured luckily for me and at nearly 4 is pretty much easy dog long as gets excerscise

Something of consider is that labs can be later maturing going by ones we meet so could be long haul or could be lucky and be easy dog

Oh op I feel for you I really do. I suffer from PTSD and we got our puppy 4 weeks ago. We have been lucky tbh. Slept through since day one (god finally gave me a break after DS didn’t sleep through for 4.5 years). I find the constant nipping the worst thing! I would find a dog walker to come in and give you a break. Even if the just come in and play with your pup for 30 min. Go away for the night and leave DH with the dog. Get him used to being left. Your still in the socialisation period. Put him somewhere safe and go out. The play pen is great. We used this with our lab puppy growing up. Tire him out. Hide treats round the house and send him on a treat hunt

I know how you feel OP My lab was a nightmare puppy, strong and bouncy and bitey and seemingly hellbent on poisoning himself with noxious substances. He's 8 now and calmed down a lot but still acts like a naughty puppy at times.
In contrast my rescue GSD, with a difficult start in life, has been the perfect dog, never given me any problems. He even helps round up my lab and bring him back when he wanders off scavenging for food on walks.

YY I think Labradors in general are quite hard work as pups - they take quite a while to mature and are surprisingly strong at quite a young age!

Definitely get a crate. It's worth gritting your teeth and getting through it as my labrador is a comfort and joy to me. The puppy stage is very hard. Mine had a crate and a hot water bottle at night which settled him.

Mine is from show lab lines and I THINK they are easier than working dogs.

This might help as it's about controlling your dog's environment, so that you don't constantly have to be on top of them all the time and you can (hopefully) relax a bit more. In theory it makes training easier too as they don't get so much chance to develop bad habits which you then have to train them out of. The kitchen with baby gate sounds good.

Puppies are like a combo of baby and toddler so very exhausting! But it will get better, and it won't all happen in one go so as PPs say you should start to find it easier soon even though he won't be out of the actual puppy stage for a while yet.

Mine is from show lab lines and I THINK they are easier than working dogs.
I've heard this as well, they're supposed to be calmer and lazier.
Perhaps my show lab is an exception, apart from a long (3yrs) naughty puppyhood, he's now 8 and still very bouncy. People often ask me if he's on springs because he leaps about so much when meeting other dogs.

Mine is very bouncy on walks and absolutely loves to swim. He plays with my other dog a lot. Apart from that he sits at my feet or sleeps all day. He's ace.

I think this is why lab puppies are so bloody cute, to make you love them despite the nightmare chewy cover everything in hair nature

I know a lab who's 5. He's the most lOving and loyal dog you could ever wish to meet but he's wild. He still very puppyish, but beyond adorable.

Mine is from show lab lines and I THINK they are easier than working dogs.

I don't think mine got that message. He's wonderful and I LOVE him but he's as daft as a brush and hard work. Wouldn't change him though.

Your eldest should have finished A levels so DELEGATE RESPONSIBILITY

@Ariela, I did! She willingly took over 9am - 3pm on Wednesday for me to give me a break. She then explained to DH over dinner how hard it is to look after the puppy (to express sympathy with me) and my DH then told me it was too much for her and give her a break.... Which knowing him basically means stop asking her to help.

He also said he'd do the night wake up - we're currently having issues as there's something wrong with the puppy and he is suffering from terrible diarrhea with blood in it, especially overnight. He's having his stools tested and is on a special vet's diet but no change. Well the night time help lasted 3 nights. So as well as all day supervision, I'm now up at 3am, mopping up shit and then back down at 6am doing the same thing. Because it's too much for him to wake up and go back to sleep 10/15mins later. When he knows from when my 6 year old was a baby, once I'm up, it takes me hours to go back to sleep, if at all.

I think I have bigger issues than the puppy.

Oh OP that's utterly shit. Do you feel strong enough to 'have it out' with everyone about how they need to pull their weight and not just a token effort for a few days?

@BiteyShark, no I don't. My eldest will help and has continued to help out willingly but I'm limiting it to an hour here or there. She's actually my stepdaughter. That's part of why I feel I can't say anything that runs contrary to what her father says as although I've raised her, he's her father and I'm just a stepmother so his wishes as her parent come first. I can't talk to him. Don't get me wrong, he's a lovely guy but arguing with him is like dealing with a toddler.

Oh op so sorry you’re having to deal with all this. Big hugs and I hope they sort puppy out. Has he had his lepto shot?

It's won't feel like it now but your puppy will grow up and love you and be the best most loving friend you could ever have. Which is good as your DH sounds like an arse.

Oh I'm so sorry. It does sound like you have bigger issues. Hope pup is well and sleeping soon. That makes such a difference.

You'll have so much more energy once the pup sleeps through the night. Ours cracked it on Monday and both DP and I have FAR more energy than we did last week! Even the 6am wake-ups are bearable with a full night's sleep!

I hope your other issues with your DH get sorted ASAP

I just wanted to update to say that things are so much better. My puppy's tests all came back negative and it seems that he is lactose intolerant so as long as we keep him away from cheese, his tummy is okay again.

He's sleeping through to 4.30am/5.00am so I feel almost human again. He's 16 weeks now and although he's still a handful, I can see some light at the end of the tunnel. It helps that he goes to doggy day care for about 4hrs twice a week so I can use that time to either catch up on sleep or get things done without him trailing around behind me and tugging at my clothes.

Thank you to everyone for your constructive and supportive comments. You helped me more than I can say.

That's good news OP, glad things are better.