First time dog owners - just HOW much work?

[Wannabe2015]

We have decided to get a dog. It won't be until next year but I've started doing some reading and research. We don't have a fixed idea regarding breed or whether to get a rescue or a puppy from a breeder.

I have it in my mind that the decision to get a dog is similar to the decision to have a baby and that for the first year or so we won't really have much of a life whilst everyone adapts.

Alot of people I speak to suggest I am really over-thinking this, that getting a dog is not comparable with having a baby at all.

Am I right to think like this, yes? To expect it to be hard and exhausting to start with?

For those of you with dogs and children, which was harder work?

Thanks Doghouse ppl!

Make a few general enquiries but be prepared for them to want you to wait until the children are a bit older

How about contacting someone like the cinnamon trust where you can volunteer to walk a dog belonging to someone elderly or unwell? My sister does this and has two lovely little walkees (she also has her own rescue dog)

Ok. I'll try that. Thanks costa

By the way, my parents recently adopted a middle aged dog who was just tied up and left outside a rescue place. She's the sweetest little thing, so placid, rarely barks, has settled in so well with their other dog and cats and just absolutely adores my mum, she will sit for ages just staring up at her face and follows her everywhere. It's so lovely to see

That's lovely costa. Poor dog though, just to be uprooted and left. There are so many rescue dogs! And looking online, so many of them are the same types of dogs. Staffies, loads of them. Why is that? So many of these dogs are listed as child friendly, but the number of that type of breed is out of proportion to the total number of dogs. It's this sort of thing that gets me thinking and a bit concerned.

I don't care what type of dog we get, I'm not interested in looks or size particularly. Temperament and exercise requirements are the deciding factors for us. But...so many terriers are up for re-homing. And especially the Staffs. Why them I wonder?

Generally with staffs it's because they were the breed of the day for a certain type of idiot, who then dumps them when they're not as aggressive as they look. Staffs are well known to be loyal, loving, softies - just ask any 'sensible' staff owner

This is why it's good you're doing this research - you have to get past the prejudices

Hi Wannabe. If it's any consolation, I spent 2 years agonising, researching and interrogating people about getting our first family dog. What prompted me into action was an ultimatum from dh that if I did not go with the litter I was registered for, there would be no dog in the family as he could not bear my agonising for another 6 months! As a result, we have a puppy who is now 17 weeks old and my kids are 12, 8 and 6.

I scared myself witless reading threads on here so I went into ownership prepared for a nightmare and it has been so much easier.

I went into ownership on the basis that I was the main driver for wanting a dog ( kids too but I know they are more fickle) so I have no expectations that anyone takes responsibility ( although luckily everyone does).

I am lucky to be at home so have the time to devote to training and bonding with our pup getting to know his idiosyncrasies and body language etc.

Yes there are accidents to deal with, play biting to manage etc, but as with kids, they are phases and shorter lived. However, I am glad I waited till our youngest was at school. Loads of people manage it really well, but I would find it harder with a pre-schooler. Now I know that I can give plenty of attention to my dog during the day and then the kids get attention after school and pup happily settles and potters around/plays with the kids.

My view is that I am committed with 3 kids for the coming years and given everyone's activities, our lives aren't hugely spontaneous. It just adds another layer of organisation when you do want a day out, go on holiday, factor in walks, but that's fine if you are ok to take that on board.

Yes they are hard work, but so are kids and it is all about putting the effort and groundwork in and carrying that through. The pleasure you get back as a result is huge.

Again like people having kids, all sorts have dogs and manage including irresponsible ones. You are clearly putting in a lot of effort to carefully think it through which is to be commended.

The question I asked myself is, would I regret never having a dog when I was much older and the answer was 'yes'. Yes it's been an intense couple of months, but I knew it would be. The important thing is to get your breed and breeder right if you don't go down the rescue route.

I took the plunge and I am so glad I did. Good luck Wannabe. Have the courage of your convictions!

Rescues vary considerably, but it's certainly not true to say it's all Staffies (though they are delightful dogs). Generally, rescues come in two varieties - all breed like Hope Rescue I mentioned earlier or the Dogs Trust, or a specialist breed rescue, e.g. Wiccaweys specialise in collies, EGLR in lurchers, the Retired Greyhound Trust in Greyhounds, etc. There are breed rescues for virtually every breed you can think of - if you have a specific type of dog in mind - you just need to do your homework and sometimes be prepared to travel or wait for the right dog (just as you should be for the right pup actually). As a broad rule of thumb, the less common the dog breed, the more likely that the rescue will in fact be a donated dog from a breeder - perhaps it's a bitch unsuitable for breeding, or one that isn't quite right for the show ring. In these cases, the dog's history is well known and it's a great way of getting the breed you want.

Specialist rescues like Wiccaweys or Valgreys who focus on a particular breed are amazing because they will have an almost unparalleled experience with a particular breed and will work hard to pair you with the right dog. They will also not be afraid to tell you if you are unsuitable for a particular breed.

Methods of keeping in touch vary from rescue to rescue but most are run by volunteers on a shoe string, and are unlikely to have the time to keep coming back to you. They expect you to do the basic legwork of keeping an eye on FB pages, websites etc. If you have a particular breed in mind, why not offer to do some voluntary work with a rescue? You will get to know the people involved and be in a great position when the right dog comes along. Most rescues are always glad of people to get involved in a myriad of ways - walking dogs, transport runs, helping out at events, even baking a cake for a coffee morning. Walking dogs regularly for instance will be a great way of finding out how you can fit the dog into the family timetable especially when DC start to have their own busy social schedule on weekends and sports activities etc.

As others have said, the Cinnamon Trust is an absolutely wonderful organisation and this would also be a brilliant way for you to start to get some dog experience under your belt as well as being a lovely thing to do.

Girolle that is so encouraging. Thank you. I am agonising just as you did. It feels like a huge decision, and I am not the sort of person who is timid about making changes in life. I think I decided to try for a baby with less thought!! I'm very encouraged to read about your happy experience.

costa y'see, with the Staffies, I would have and had assumed that the high proportion of them up for re-homing was as a result of the dog being more likely to be aggressive or difficult to live with, rather than the opposite. I had childhood experience with 2 large boxers for were just the sweetest natured dogs. I adored them. I wouldn't have stood a chance had one of them decided to go for me, but I thought nothing of lying on the sofa with them or letting them lick my face. Looking back, there was just an instinct that they were safe. Mostly because they were well socialised and well trained and had lived their lives around young children and babies. But I showed DH a rescue website last night. He said he would be happy to have any breed of dog except a bull terrier. His feeling was that a bite or attack from say a Cav King Charles could do less damage. Whereas I am open to having a larger dog. I just want a nice family dog to live with us.

Scuttlebutter thanks for the advice. I have contacted Cinnammon Trust. They dont have a need for any dog walkers in my local area right now (we're are quite rural and not central in the country) but I am happy to be contacted if anything comes up. We are going to be doing some more dog-sitting over the summer for friends who are going on holiday but it won't be a new experience as we have had their dogs to stay before and they are quite old and extremely used to families and small children. There are no new breeds or pups for me to look after yet! But I am willing to give anything a try!

All this is making me really dog-broody and the rescue websites aren't helping!

I think your husband is looking at it from the wrong standpoint - any dog can do serious damage - jack Russell's can be one of the worst. A bite is a bite and once you've got to the that point, the type of dog is fairly immaterial (unless it's a 50+kg American bulldog)

Maybe you could educate your husband at the same time?

And I'm sorry to say, attitudes like your husband's, borne out of ignorance rather than education or experience - is exactly why the staffs are overlooked and ignored, and languish in kennels for years, when all they want is a rug in front of the fire - it does make me very annoyed

costa, do you have/have you had staffies? Do they make good family pets?

Some people seem to adore them and say they are excellent with children but then every other person seems to have a horror story to tell about them.

I am curious about the Staffies, they seem to be like Marmite. And I love Marmite!!

Oh- sorry one more question (are you bored of talking to me yet?!)

Are they suitable for first time owners?

One of my rescues was probably a staffy German shepherd cross - there's a dog to give your husband palpitations - we got her aged about 18 months and had her until she was 14

Yes I don't see why not, given the usual provisos - they make excellent family pets - they're known as dog nannies - why do you think so many rescues list them as suitable for children? I'm sure they don't want sad face headlines in the daily mail of how they placed a killer dog with a family ...

My lurchers came from EGLR - ds was 6 when we got ddog1 who was 6 months. Ddog2 was born with them, and had a fantastic start. He was really well socialised when we collected him.
All the EGLR dogs are fostered in homes, so they really do know how they behave in lots of situations. My two are very healthy, having only been to the vets for vaccs and neutering.

People rehome from them all over the country, so thats no issue.

Lots of people think lurchers need huge amounts of exercise (not true), aren't safe with cats (just like any other dog, it varies, we have 3 cats), and aren't affectionate (totally untrue). I luffs mine, and they adore children

Staff/GSD X, eek. I confess that would make me a bit wary. More the GSD part than the Staf however.

Have had a quick look at StaffieRescue wesbite. Some v sweet looking dogs on there.

This is bizarre. I week ago I was all set to buy a Cavalier KCS puppy from a breeder. All nice and cute, quiet and small. Doggy world is bigger than I thought!

DH may take some major persuading to even consider a fighting breed. Might try to see if a friend of a friend or someone in the village knows of one we could meet and maybe talk for a walk.

We also had a pure breed German shepherd, my friend's toddler learnt to walk resting her hands on his back

They're not a fighting breed - please stop that now

Cavaliers are a nightmare for health problems, heart failure, eyes, ears, joints - I know people who have had several, they're lucky to get to 8 years old - cost a fortune in vet bills and obviously it's very upsetting to watch a relatively young dog struggle to breathe or walk

Oh sorry, I didn't mean to cause offence re the 'fighting breed'. I thought that was the reason they were originally bred.

I've spoken to someone who runs a Staffie rescue place in my area. She is an ex-breeder who now shows and judges Staffies. She seemed completely unfazed by the fact that we have young children. She also talked at length about introducing me to reputable breeders. She wanted to know whether we wanted a bitch or a dog, what colour brindle etc etc. I was a bit taken aback. Are all rescue places legit?! She seemed ready to just hand one over!!

A few bits from Wikipedia

The breed is naturally muscular and may appear intimidating; however, because of their natural fondness for people, most Staffords are temperamentally ill-suited for guard or attack-dog training. Staffordshire Bull Terrier puppies are very easy to house train.[12]

Although individual differences in personality exist, common traits exist throughout the Staffords. Due to its breeding, and history, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier is known for its character of fearlessness and loyalty.[10] This, coupled with its affection for its friends, its off-duty quietness and trustworthy stability, make it a foremost all-purpose dog.

Staffordshire Bull Terriers are friendly, enthusiastic and usually extremely affectionate[13] towards humans. They express their affection through jumping up, nuzzling, licking[14] and pawing, and even when trained can still be 'fussy' with owners and others. Staffordshires are perhaps not suitable pets for those who prefer more reserved dogs. Staffordshires are notably adaptable in terms of changing home or even owners, and unfortunately this can make them easy prey for dognappers.[15]

RSPCA chief vet Mark Evans said: "Staffies have had a terrible press, but this is not of their own making—in fact they're wonderful dogs. If people think that Staffies have problems, they're looking at the wrong end of the dog lead! When well cared for and properly trained they can make brilliant companions. Our experience suggests that problems occur when bad owners exploit the Staffie's desire to please by training them to show aggression."[16]

That doesn't sound right at all - you should expect to be interviewed about you and the family first, then a dog matched to you, then have a home check.
Unfortunately, not all rescues are careful enough about ensuring that the right dog is matched to the right people.

I can't say whether she's legit or not without more info but I guess she was asking questions to suss you out a bit - I'd expect her to still do a house visit and interview you more in depth further into the process

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask but I have a quick question about staffies - my friend (not me, I have never had a dog) has told me she has just got a staff, she lives in a maisonette flat on the 3rd (top) floor so doesn't have a garden, she has 2 bedrooms for a lodger and her 8yo DS, her bed is in the (cramped) living room and she has 2 cats. How much room do staffs need?

I recommend reading Michele Hanson's book Absolutely Barking. she loves dogs but she pulls no punches about what's involved. vets bills, fighting with other dogs...

Staffs shouldn't be in a cramped apartment, I think your friend should think again

Rescues, just like breeders, are definitely not all equal and (again, just like with breeders) it really pays to research, research, research.

Another rescue avenue that's worth looking into is the welfare branch of the relevant breed clubs for breeds you're interested in. The vast majority of breeds clubs have them and they're usually entirely foster based (rather than kennels) and run by people absolutely passionate about their breed.

Yeah, Im going to give that Staffie rescue place a wide berth. She was way too keen to proceed. Didn't seem right somehow.