House of Tiny Tearaways BBC3 tonight - did anyone watch it?

[emkana]

I didn't like it how Dr. Tanya Byron ( who I think is great really) went into full-on "He's going to sleep in his own bed tonight" mode with the little toddler who sleeps badly. I mean this was a strange environment for the poor little baby!
Couldn't believe the couple with the two-and-a-half year old "Do you want your tea? No? Do you want a brown yog-yog instead?" Please...
Will be interested to see this, even though I think it's a bit much that it will be on every night this month.

[beatie]

Compo - Many programmes do this now and it bores me beyond tears. I feel like I am being brainwashed.

[muminlondon]

Easy and unicorn have made points I agree with there - my DH is horrified by this and all reality TV programmes, and it's certainly ripping off the Big Brother format but with children. The parents must all have agreed to do this but are the children really aware of what is going on? In 10 years time they could be really angry teenagers when they realise they've been exploited for our entertainment. Apart from that it's an artificial environment and the parents are probably even more anxious than usual.

On the other hand, I kept wishing DH would go upstairs and let me watch it. It's so effective you get pulled in easily. Hmmm.

[beansprout]

Totally agree about the endless recaps. Driving me nuts!

[unicorn]

I reckon Dr Tanya has come out of this the best-what a great career move.

(btw, I do like her, she does actually appear to care)

Still feel uncomfortable watching this, (yet continuing to comment from the sidelines)...

I reckon this type of TV seems to encourage even more isolated/competitive parenting - ie. everyone 'judging' everyone else, on the basis of what you are 'supposed' to do.

TBQH many of the tantrum techniques were tried and tested on dd when she was a toddler... but she wasn't emotionally ready to deal with them (nor me probably)

The problem with 'parenting' programmes is they give the impression that,well, one size fits all ie. these techniques will always work.

They oversimplify often very complex human interactions, with the result that we all think we should do the same.

Bringing up kids is not a formula, and I in a way I wish we could all stop worrying about the rights and wrongs and just do it our own sweet way (without being judged)

Here endeth the sermon

[Wallace]

Tanya Byron comes across a lot more human in this than she does in Little Angels, don't you think?

[tweetyfish]

compo - totally agree with the recaps - but they are very useful for getting a drink/clearing plates away/toilet breaks.......

[muminlondon]

We're also encouraged to look and learn from the 'bad' parents on display and feel smug that we're not as pathetic, unicorn. They do get some constructive advice but never in million years would I put myself in their position.

but the success of the programme is to do with Tanya Bryon who comes across very well. Just imagine Ant and Dec commenting on it though - all successful programmes get their shabbier rip offs on Channel 5.

[Mud]

unicorn - totally disagree, the only reason IME the 'tried and tested techniques' don't work with toddlers is because the carer does not apply them consistently, it is nothing to do with 'emotional maturity' that's just making excuses for not wanting to see them through (which is fair enough, the parent has the right to parent as they see fit). Actually there is another area where the techniques have to be adjusted and that is with toddlers with SN or sensory issues

[unicorn]

Many of these techniques are fine if you have all the time in the world to just concentrate on your childs 'problems'(as on this programme) - and particularly if you have just 1 child to be concerned about.

Reality isn't quite like that.

I guess I'm just making 'excuses' though.

[tiktok]

unicorn, but a lot of these parents seem to be totally focussed on the child's problems and spending masses amounts of time trying to soothe tantrums, get the kid to eat, to settle in bed and stay there...it's harder work to parent like this and certainly more time consuming.....if it takes you 20 minutes to get your child into a car seat, FFS, then learning how to do it so she doesn't screech and scream and you can get away quickly is going to save time!!

[happymerryberries]

I think part of the problem nowerdays is that we all live very pressured lives. Be we SAHM or work outside the home mums our lives are hectic.

My mother had more time to herself , as I was expected to play in the street with other children. This doesn't happen now.

We spend our lives dashing from play group to school, from brownies to football classes, we drive to work, squeeze in some food shopping (and no simple meat and 2 veh any more it has to be a full 'Nigella' or nothing'. Our kids clothes are washed each day, our houses have to be like something out of homes and gardens.

We have no time, so when we get the kids to ourselves who wants to spend time telling them off and getting them to behave? Its just so much easier to give in. And if you think you can spot the voice of experience here, spot on!

We have got to the point when we are so drained and tired that we jusy want our kids to love us and enjoy being with us, so we do play the hard parent. Which is what you kids need, at least part of the time, to make them happy and secure.

[Mud]

I do HMB - when I have time with the children I want to ensure that they are behaving within parameters that will make them good adults and worthy of their position in society - I shudder at the thought of raising children who believe they can have everything they want and behave any way they want to - and actually the kids who are treated that way don't benefit either cos eventually their silver platter is removed and they realise they are not the centre of the universe

if that's the excuse then stop taking them to things and teach them the joy of playing

[happymerryberries]

Oh, I quite agree!

But I work with any number of kids who's very nice, well meaning parents seem to have forgotten this!

In the end it is easier to play good cop over bad cop! But we owe it to our kids to do better by them.

I'm not condoning it for a second, but I can see what some of the root cause of it is. Parents who are working all hours to give their kid some bit of plastic crap, when they would be better spending the time kicking round a foot ball.

[bundle]

it's taken a long, long time for these children to "learn" this kind of behaviour, so it'll take time and effort to "unlearn" imo

[Mud]

I think I must be twisted, I find it far easier to play 'bad cop' than good cop

[unicorn]

apparently not tho bundle - the food problem boy this week is a case in point.

It seems many of these issues are actually caused by the parents anxieties/own problems..

To call it house of tiny tearaways is probably unfair to the kids IYSWIM!

[happymerryberries]

You are my sister under the skin!

I'm a hard nut too, at home and in work. I think in the end kids are happier if you are. But it is blooming (new policy word) hard work and I can ubderstand why some people duck out of it at the end of a crappy day! Not an excuse, but part of a reason I think.

And blow (new policy wordO this idea that we treat kids as equals. they are not. give them time, and chances and they may becoma my equal but at the moment they are not. And they had better remember that....{grin]

[Mud]

I would love you to be my kids' teacher

[bundle]

unicorn, i don't understand..

[happymerryberries]

Mud, but they wouldn't.....evil cackle!

[unicorn]

bundle.. ref the little boy who only eats pureed food??? and his 5 yr old brother who wouldn't feed himself?

The parents were very very anxious about their boys eating...they spend 3 days in house of TT with Dr T and now the boys are virtually cured.

It is what I mean about it making it all look so simple...which isn't really fair on the parents (who have problem tried all sorts)

[bundle]

yes but 3 days pretty intensive stuff..bet they'd never persisted with any strategy for that long. or even said No to him.

[foxinsocks]

yesterday, I thought that woman (mother of the eating problem kids) was going to bottle out of the restaurant trip and she looked SO nervous that I though Egan would pick up on it and not eat a thing.

I agree bundle that had it not been for the cameras or that programme, I doubt she would have carried on doing it - and what happened, low and behold he ate a shed load of garlic bread.

It is fascinating watching but the endless recaps are driving me mad as well.

[foxinsocks]

lo and behold even!!

[unicorn]

but don't you think parents can almost 'cause' some of these problems?

They (we) often they have many unresolved issues that can be transferred to the kids.

So in a way the parents need more 'psychotherapy' help - not just techniques (that I don't disagree can work but only if the parent has been given support to deal with their own problems)