16 year old birthday party alcohol??

[mothermayai]

We're allowing our teen a (chaperoned we'll be around the house too) 16th birthday celebration with friends (c.25-30). Want to provide some alcohol to avoid them bringing their own or turning up totally wasted. Anybody done this and have tips on what alcohol might work? Am thinking some beers and those tinned G&T type things??

[BIWI]

Absolutely no need to think about supplying them with alcohol. Have you considered what the other parents might think? They are all underage - and if they're only just turning 16, then very underage!

[BIWI]

But whatever you try and put in place, they'll bring their own anyway - what are you going to do about that?

[Favouritefruits]

If go with beer as you need to drink a lot to get drunk and it’s hard to drink more than a few cans. I’d stay away from all of the spirits, Lambrini used to be low alcohol but a bit if a change from beer. They are only 16 so you don’t want a load of legless teens

[BIWI]

If go with beer as you need to drink a lot to get drunk

Not true a) if you're not used to it and b) depending on the brand - lots of beers are actually pretty potent at over 4% ABV.

[Motheroffourdragons]

We had one of these parties and you would not believe the amount of alcohol that turned up with their friends!

Parents dropped them off with it, and came and picked them up! And they must have bought it for them.

It was fine in the end, but I was so glad when it was over.

[TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyHusband]

Why do 16 year olds need alcohol? Also have you asked the other parents if they are ok with it?

[fourelementary]

Tell your daughter to get her friends to let their parents know there will be alcohol. If you know the parents tell them too. Have a limit eg 3 drinks each and stick to it. Explain you are allowing some alcohol but you’re trusting them to not go overboard. To have fun but not take it to the extreme.

[BIWI]

Explain you are allowing some alcohol but you’re trusting them to not go overboard

Do you have teenage children?!

[colouredball]

I don't think it's ok for you to provide alcohol for other 16 year olds tbh. Fair enough if their parents get them some to bring but i would be really unhappy if another parent made that choice for my child.

[PickledMumion]

It's not the 90s any more. Don't provide alcohol for other people's 16yos. Don't let them bring their own. If they turn up already drunk, turn them away.

[Finallyiamleaving]

They will bring their own too! My rules:
I said they could only bring pale/clear drinks to protect carpets and furniture.
Have a finish time.
Check every hour.
No one allowed upstairs (if you have a downstairs loo).
My DD had a fabulous time and appreciated my trust in her and her friends.

[Flatandhappy]

They are 16, supplying alcohol is illegal. You are not being a cool parent, you are just being a dick. If anyone had supplied my kids with alcohol at 16 I would have happily reported them as most parents I know did. I assume your job doesn’t rely on a WWWC because otherwise you are really putting yourself at risk. If kids bring booze and get pissed phone the parents and tell them to come and collect. I hate this pathetic “ everyone is doing it” shit.

[legocatcooker]

My DD has been to a few 16 birthday parties lately, all house parties and all with alcohol. She normally takes a couple of Smirnoff ice and there is normally similar once there and some have had beer and prosecco. DD is normally pretty sensible with alcohol but learnt the hard way if you mix Smirnoff ice and prosecco the results are not pretty ;) These parties were all really nice girls / boys BTW and nice parents.

For those saying no to alcohol, I'd say you are being pretty naive but if you are really not wanting your DC to be at a party where no alcohol is served it's probably best to keep them away as whether or not parents have allowed alcohol there it's pretty likely someone will manage to sneak some in.

[LightSwerve]

@PickledMumion

It's not the 90s any more. Don't provide alcohol for other people's 16yos. Don't let them bring their own. If they turn up already drunk, turn them away.

This this this.

It is completely unacceptable to supply alcohol to other people's children these days.

[BIWI]

For those saying no to alcohol, I'd say you are being pretty naive

Trust me - I'm the absolute opposite of naive on this issue! Been there, seen it, got the t-shirt.

You can't prevent them (easily) turning up with alcohol, but there's absolutely no need to supply it to such young children. Bear in mind that some of them are likely to still be 15 as well.

It's totally irresponsible to supply it.

[Soigneur]

@Flatandhappy

They are 16, supplying alcohol is illegal. You are not being a cool parent, you are just being a dick. If anyone had supplied my kids with alcohol at 16 I would have happily reported them as most parents I know did. I assume your job doesn’t rely on a WWWC because otherwise you are really putting yourself at risk. If kids bring booze and get pissed phone the parents and tell them to come and collect. I hate this pathetic “ everyone is doing it” shit.

What is a WWWC?

The legal drinking age in the U.K. is 5. ‘Supplying alcohol’ has a very specific meaning relating to licensed premises and retailers. It doesn’t apply to serving alcohol at a party in a private dwelling.

While you may disapprove of serving alcohol at a teenagers party, there’s absolutely nothing illegal about it and your post reads as fear-mongering.

[lilyathena]

@Flatandhappy

They are 16, supplying alcohol is illegal. You are not being a cool parent, you are just being a dick. If anyone had supplied my kids with alcohol at 16 I would have happily reported them as most parents I know did. I assume your job doesn’t rely on a WWWC because otherwise you are really putting yourself at risk. If kids bring booze and get pissed phone the parents and tell them to come and collect. I hate this pathetic “ everyone is doing it” shit.

This. There will be many friends coming who are 15. It's not ok for another parent to take it upon themselves to provide spirits to 15 year olds IMHO. This, along with mixed sleepovers, was prevalent when DC was in Y9-10. Funnily enough, by middle of Y10, the vast majority of parents who had done that, realised it had been a stupid idea and stopped doing it.

[lilyathena]

The police did visit parents round here when several parents complained about them providing alcohol to 15 year olds at a party.

[sleepyscientist]

@lilyathena

The police did visit parents round here when several parents complained about them providing alcohol to 15 year olds at a party.

You could have just not let your kids go! I would hide the spirit cupboard upstairs and leave them to it with some premixed drinks. Also grab some alcohol free gins etc for those who know their parents won't let them drink.

[OnlyOneAdda]

Ideally you want agreement from the parents because as this thread shows there will be a whole spectrum...some that are not worried in the slightest and some that will fly off the handle and do something stupid like call the police on you

Unfortunately there will also be a whole spectrum with the kids...some will be sensible and treat your house with respect and some that will go mad (likely the ones with the parents that would call the police - the ones that are not allowed to do everything are always the worst ones in my experience)

A friend of ours let her 15yo DS have a NYE party. Everyone allowed 3 drinks (beer type strength) over the course of the evening. Everyone's parents had to message her first to confirm they were comfortable with that. Went really well. But that was about 10 friends and she knew them all.

[ohdamnitjanet]

Agree with it or not, I didn’t go to one teen party when I was at school that didn’t have alcohol, secret or otherwise. It might not be wise, but it’s not illegal.

[mothermayai]

Thanks for the helpful comments e.g. @legocatcooker @Finallyiamleaving

[lilyathena]

@sleepyscientist absolutely. But in this particular instance, my DS was only 'just 15', it was a party hosted by Y9 parents, so the child whose party it was was younger. It didn't occur to most of us that they would be giving shots etc to children. Some young people were very ill as a result. Most parents had no idea that this would be happening at the party - the school does not take just from local catchment, so that plus the earlier covid period meant that parents don't know each other very well. I tend to check now that a. There is an adult in the house - not simply an 'older sensible sibling' and b. What arrangements they are making re alcohol. I work with young people so am not naive about all this - far from it, but personally I prefer to know the parents aren't making poor decisions on our behalf.

[lilyathena]

@OnlyOneAdda that sounds like some really considerate parents and at the point when this kind of thing is starting sounds like such a good way to do things.

[BeaRF75]

As mentioned above, 16 is absolutely not "under age" nor "illegal". Why not show these young people that you trust and respect them, so they don't have to bring in illicit alcohol themselves?