13 year old boy:
At school:
Always late for classes despite warnings
messing around in class (tapping ruler, chatting)
homeeork incomplete
not correct equipment
smirking when teacher tells him off
terribke report (coasting in all subjects)
At home:
never does any chores (we don't give many)
messy room
doesn't do homework unless we tell him / done to terrible standard
doesn't hang or put clothes away messy room
never comes off Xbox when asked
i am end of my tether the school emails and phone calls
I think he has no respect for parents or teachers!
any advice welcome
thanks
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Teenagers
Appropriate punishment for these things:
Remmy123 · 14/12/2023 16:22
Remmy123 · 14/12/2023 16:36
@TeenDivided I really think he doesn't care unfortunately
Remmy123 · 14/12/2023 16:36
@TeenDivided I really think he doesn't care unfortunately
SisterMichaelsHabit · 14/12/2023 16:41
You don't need one-off 'punishments', you need a consistent approach to behaviour management. Clear rules and routines, reminders (visual and verbal; a wall chart with tasks that you remind him to check, for example) until he does things, incentives to get them done as well as negative outcomes when things are not done, and you have to stick to it forever.
For example, tidying his room. The instruction "tidy your room" is insurmountable to a lot of children until they learn the routine; you have to break it down. One task at a time. "We're going to tidy your room. Can you put all your lego away in the lego storage box, please?" then when that's done, the next task, and you have to repeat this sort of thing over and over, until he gets how to follow the procedure then you can gradually withdraw support until he gets to the point where he can just follow the instruction "go and tidy your room, please".
It would have been great to have started this when he was 6 or 7 but you are here and this is now. Whether there's an underlying issue or not, this will help him get out of the rut and into being more proactive.
He didn't wake up at this age with this set of issues.
HerMammy · 14/12/2023 16:48
4 posts in and we have the list of possible SEN, do ppl not think that some kids just don't care and do as little as possible.
Frasers · 14/12/2023 16:40
I didn’t punish, I spoke to my child. Explained why it was problematic, asked what they would do to improve, set my expectations, let my disappointment in them be very obvious, and I kept the dialogue open, praising improvement, disappointment or even anger over failures, and it worked.
i don’t believe the go to should be get them to do something out of fear. Which is what punishment is.
so, whilst folks are enjoying coming up with punishments for your child, what conversations have you had with them over their behaviour.
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