Very tall 14 yo daughter

[guerillastyle]

My DD14 is now 6 foot tall. Those in the know- is she likely to get very much taller? Her periods started 6months ago and I'm sure I read somewhere you don't grow much after that. She's always been fine with her height until recently when she has started saying things like 'I'll never have a boyfriend' and calling herself freakishly tall or saying she's manly.
Everyone mentions it, I mean everyone- even teachers.
I don't want her confidence to slide. Any advice anyone could offer me to help her out through these self conscious teenage years?
Also, tall ladies out there- what are the benefits of being 6ft plus?

[PerspicaciaTick]

My 14yo DD is 5'10" and taller than most of her teachers, friends and friends parents. Her rate of growth has slowed up massively, her shoe size stabilised at a size 8 about 2 years ago and she has grown only 1cm in the last year.
It is getting easier now she is starting to see herself as an adult (sort of) rather than a small child. Volunteering has helped her self esteem massively.

[guerillastyle]

I think she always liked being the tallest when she was maybe an inch or two above her peers but is now towering over everyone and is fed up. She's even catching up on my DH who is 6'4.
Volunteering or a Saturday job is a good idea, although as an introvert she might find a public facing job hard at first. She swims competitively which has been great for body confidence and posture/strength.
There are worse things than being really tall and there's nothing she can do about it but it's definitely getting her down just now.

[mayhew]

My daughter is 5'11". She was full height at 15. The oestrogen surge which starts menstruation stops the bones lengthening.
She loves being tall, even though she was a self conscious teen, she saw being tall as a plus.

[mayhew]

We went on holiday to Amsterdam when she was 15 ( the tallest nation). For the first time I couldn't easily spot her in a crowd. They were her people. She didn't like it!

[nicebitofquiche]

My periods started when I was 11 and I grew a lot taller after that. I have quite a few friends around the 6 ft mark. Don't think it's stopped them doing anything apart from problems getting trousers long enough and having to listen to men comment on their height all the time.

[crocsaretoocoolforschool]

I'm 6ft and stopped growing around 13/14

Cons
-clothes are more expensive
-shoes are a bugger if you've got big feet to match
-dating pool reduced if you are picky about height

Pros
-you are treated with more respect in the workplace controversial opinion I'm sure but I do motive I am treated differently to my 5ft4 colleagues
-you get served at the bar more quickly
-you can reach everything in the supermarket with no bother
-you can always see at the cinema/theatre/gigs

On a day to day basis I don't even think about it to be honest but I do remember feeling very out of place as a 14 year old

[Racecardriver]

I grew maybe an inch at most after that age. I am also tall, a couple of inches shorter than her. Most men I know are six feet or over. Dating has never been an issue regardless, I have dated men a good foot shorter than me, they really didn't seem to mind. My DH is considerably bigger than me. Not intentional on my part but he certainly seems to prefer taller women. Kids these days are very tall.

[onedayonedaymaybe]

I'm 5ft10 and stopped growing when I was around 13/14.

[DramaAlpaca]

I had a growth spurt at 14 & grew from about 5'3 to 5'8 in the space of about six months. By the time I stopped growing at 18 I was 5'10. I hated being a tall teenager as I was very gawky & self conscious but I love it as an adult.

[guerillastyle]

I'm also relatively tall at 5'9 and it's never bothered me much. I don't feel tall in this family though and it won't be long before my other two DCs overtake me as well.

I suppose at 14 it's the dating pool that's on my DDs mind- and most boys her age haven't had their growth spurt yet. Lots of her friends getting their first boyfriends this year.

Her shoes are size 9 and her feet are very wide but for now it's not a problem as she mainly wears trainers. I'm sure she'll be able to get nice shoes online.

[guerillastyle]

Mayhew my BIL lives in Holland. I didn't know they were the tallest nation. I think we should take a trip over to see him!

[Marmelised]

I was 5’10” at 13 with size 9 feet back in the 1970s. Chat up lines from boys began and ended with ‘you’re tall aren’t you?’ Shoes were a nightmare and 1980s leg warmers a lifesaver to cover up the inadequcies of too short trousers.

I count it as a parenting win that my 5’11” daughter was thrilled to be taller than me and my 5’8” daughter hacked off that she’s stopped growing. Both are confident in their height, both beautiful, confident young women.

My mother always encouraged me to have good posture and to stand tall. My husband never worried about me looking taller than him in heels (we’re pretty much the same height) and I learned to celebrate my height. I appreciate I’m smaller than your daughter but we’re talking at least a generation difference.

People still do mention my height but it’s been a plus throughout my career. I’m always noticed within a room, I can generate attention through my height and presence and capitalise on that with my acquired skills and experience. I would encourage your daughter to celebrate her height.

[mayhew]

When she was younger, she insisted her boyfriends were taller. At 25, the love of her life is an inch shorter and neither of them care at all!

[youarenotkiddingme]

Boys tend to have their growth spurts later than girls. So right now she's likely seeing boys as shorter than her.
At 17/18 and onwards the number of taller boys available will have grown.

My ds is also a competitive swimmer. The girls all grew and made leaps at 10-12. The boys are starting now at 13-15! That's why the ages for development and National ages are earlier for girls. Ds at 14 has had a massive growth spurt but is still only 5"7. He can't wait for his longer arms and bigger feet to come in 😂😂

[youarenotkiddingme]

Boys tend to have their growth spurts later than girls. So right now she's likely seeing boys as shorter than her.
At 17/18 and onwards the number of taller boys available will have grown.

My ds is also a competitive swimmer. The girls all grew and made leaps at 10-12. The boys are starting now at 13-15! That's why the ages for development and National ages are earlier for girls. Ds at 14 has had a massive growth spurt but is still only 5"7. He can't wait for his longer arms and bigger feet to come in 😂😂

[guerillastyle]

My DD is tall even by swimmer standards in her age group and she looks so powerful that competitors often eye her up nervously before a swim. However her technique and ability don't match her size so she's not as fast as she looks! Plus she's really not competitive. Great exercise though !

[Movablefeast]

X-rays can show if she still has growth plates on her bones and will keep growing, but I’m in the USA so I don’t know if they would spring to that in the UK. When her feet have stopped growing then usually the limbs stop in the next 12 months. Is she still moving up shoe sizes? When my dad was x-rayed (dus to pain) her feet no longer had growth plates but her limbs in her legs did. True to form she seems to have stopped growing. She had a huge growth spurt at 13/14 and went from 5’ 2” to 5’ 8” in about 18 months.

[heartyrebel]

I was 5'7" at 11 and stopped at 6ft. I didnt hate it as a teen but there issues with buying jeans and trousers etc.
Now I like it, benefits being it's easy to stay slim as any weight gain spreads all over and doesn't show up.
It's a blessing at concerts as I get a way better view than my friends who get to look into a sea of armpits
My daughter is 9 and also tall but I encourage her to embrace it. She uses it to her advantage in netball and hopefully in other sports later on.
People always comment when you're young, half the time it's just something to say.
I also felt very average in Amsterdam. First time in my life

[braggingaboutbrasize]

My 14 year old DD is 6ft 2 - she is fabulous!! Don't worry about it

[Almondio]

I'm 5ft 11 with (teenytiny 5.5 feet) and I think I was full height by about 16.

Honestly I didn't enjoy being so much taller than my friends and used to slouch/stoop quite a bit. Most men felt threatened I think, but I know attitudes are changing and I hope your DD doesn't come across as many idiots as I did as a teen/early 20s when men in particular didn't really like a woman being taller than them.

I LOVE being tall now, I began to enjoy it in my mid 20s (now 40s) and my DH is a tiny bit shorter than me and he's never cared one jot.

There are lots of great 'tall girls'Instagram pages for moral support and most stores do longer length. I hope your DD can embrace and enjoy her tall teens...I seriously wish I had!

[Peanutbuttercups21]

I am 6ft, hated it as a younger teen.

Stopped growing when periods started

I hated being taller than all the boys, and boys never "saw me"'(iyswim) until 17 (when quite a few had caught up in height)

Once you're older, you realise it's ace. Joined a rowing club, started wearing high heels, and I loved being taller than some of my difficult clients in my first job. At work it has always been an advantage

And I never got ID'd from 14, so even went clubbing/pubs/buying alcohol but that was the bad old 80s and may not be such an easy perk anymore

She'll grow into her height (mentally)

[BarbedBloom]

I’m 6ft 1. Hated it when I was younger but I love it now. Never had any issues dating. I will say that quite often these days I see girls who are my height, whereas back in the 80s I was always the tallest girl. I think it is getting more common so your daughter won’t be alone

[Parky04]

It must be hard at 14. Hopefully she has stopped growing and when she reaches 16 there will be plenty of boys taller than her. My DS is 16 and now 6ft 2 and there are plenty of boys taller than him!

[Ohyesiam]

I hadn’t thought about it before, but I don’t think
My dd has grown since she started her periods.

[itssquidstella]

I'm 5'11", OP. I grew a foot in eighteen months over the course of years 8 and 9 but, as others have said, didn't grow much after I started my periods at 13 and a half.

I did find it awkward during my teens, especially before most of the boys had caught up (!), and I do sometimes feel sad that I'll never be "cute" or delicate - it's hard to feel feminine sometimes when you're tall. Like your DD I am/was a swimmer so although I'm slender I have broad shoulders, which adds to the feeling of being enormous I sometimes get!

That said, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, in my opinion. I'm strong, I'm striking, I do elegant very well when I put my mind to it. And I can always see at concerts and reach the top shelves! As a teacher, having an imposing physical presence is also quite a useful tool.

I have never really got used to wearing high heels and can't walk in them because they hurt my feet - if your DD thinks she would like to wear heels at some point in her life then I genuinely recommend she gets a pair to practise in now, even if she only wears them at home.

I think when you're tall it's important to find your style and make sure you dress to suit your figure: I can't do boho because on me it's more mad cat lady than girly and adorable, for example.

She will feel better once she gets to sixth form and most of the boys have finished (or started) growing, but I would really encourage her to own her height and make a feature of it, rather than slouching and trying to hide. Tall girls rock!