Ds wants to go to a gig and dh and I are worried.

[PlinkPlinkFizz]

15yo ds1 wants to go to a gig in December, by which time he will be 16. Gigs have never been my scene, and I'm uneasy.

The gig is at The Joiners Arms in Southampton. We live near Reading.

I don't know the kids he's going with (a boy and two girls, all Y11/12). He knows two of them from outside school, and the third is a friend of theirs.

They all live in a small town not far from us, and are going together by car. I don't know who is driving them. Ds planned to go by train and meet them at the gig. "I've checked on Google Maps - it's only 20mins walk away from the station" - this statement really worried me, as I'm sure it shows a huge degree of naivety!

[Solobo]

I spent two weeks in Amsterdam with some friends when we were 15, was brilliant. At 16 used to go to London. Bristol and Manchester for nights out. Can't believe he is so organised to plan it now. Sounds a good lad.

[ohgoodlordthatsmoist]

What day is the gig on, I would check if there is football on that day too as there might be more drunk people around earlier if there is. If you do decide to drive him (which my parents would have done for me until I was graduated!) there are lots of nice restaurants in Southampton

[Celticlassie]

What band is it? As PPs have said this can change things a lot. In addition, the thing jumping out at me is all the posters saying to give him money for a cab to the station after. Unless he leaves quite a bit early, he's very unlikely to be able to get a cab when a big event has just come out.

[Kbear]

My two pence worth is only this - every time your teenager does something new, for the first time, you will be anxious and rightly so, they are our babies - but he sounds sensible, needs a bit of a push for a proper plan for getting home (don't they all) and then you have to sit back and try to relax and wait for the key in the door. My DD is 17 and went to Lovebox first time this summer - I was anxious all day but she text me and said "MUM it's BRILLIANT" and got the last train home and it was all ok. I had concerns but ultimately she was well old enough to be there and it's her life now.

When I was her age I was up to far more and far worse.... I feel your pain, but we HAVE to let them grow and develop and learn independence or they'll be living at home with us when they're 44.

Every time, it will get easier.

[gallicgirl]

Re: the age thing, I think you need to actually speak to someone at the venue to confirm he'll be allowed in and what ID they'll accept.

[TheJiminyConjecture]

I'm local to Southampton, don't live in the centre anymore but know it well. I've just had a look at the website and I can't imagine any of the gigs in December being unsuitable tbh. The Joiners usually have a 14+ door policy for the majority of gigs so he wouldn't be the youngest there. If he's travelling back with them is there a reason he can't travel down with them?

[FlemCandango]

I started going to.gigs age 15, first locally, then London, then a weekend in Manchester. I never travelled alone always as a group, mainly on public transport, occasionally lifts from a parent. We secured fake id as we were prevented from going to a few gigs by our youth. It was all managed independently of our parents but dependent on each other. I slept on a tube station bench a few times after missing the last train. So the best advice is to travel as a group, if you are alone and 16 your options are more risky, I always felt safe as we stayed together.

[GreenGoth89]

I was going to gigs most weeks when I was 15 - that was only 12 years ago! Just let him go!