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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

is this normal for a nearly 13 year old?

42 replies

miku · 01/08/2016 12:17

Floundering and grieving at the loss of my active girl- she just wants to stay in her room, in her pjs, and only goes out if her friends have a meet up- I cannot get her to do anything- she just says no.
I am working/half at home, and out n about. shes mature for her age, but Im finding this worrying- its been 3 days now that she has basically been in her room.....summer holidays are hard, because I don't have enough money to take us anywhere, just odd days here n there- but she just is so un responsive to any ideas.

OP posts:
LAmusic · 01/08/2016 12:19

17574% normal welcome to the dark side the teenage yearsGrin

Yankeetarts · 01/08/2016 12:21

Are you me,you have just described my 13 year old dd

Oakmaiden · 01/08/2016 12:23

Mine is nearly 13, and is refusing to get out of bed.

gandalf456 · 01/08/2016 12:23

My twelve year old is the same

Lilaclily · 01/08/2016 12:24

What is so attractive in her room ?!
Turn WiFi off if you really want to see her ;-)

Original poster
miku · 01/08/2016 12:29

Lilaclily- haha! that is when I DO see her- when she walks in with her phone saying" why the wifi not working??"- stands there for a minute and walks out again....am in half teary relief at confirmation that its the teenage stuff- and also feel at a loss as what to do! ho hum want to make plans that we can enjoy, but feel my life is being held to ransom!!!

OP posts:
Buggers · 01/08/2016 12:31

Get her to download the pokemon game - you may be able to get her to go for a walk with you thenGrin.

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/08/2016 12:31

My 4 and 5 yos never want to go anywhere or do anything, they have to be forced out every time. It drives me up the fucking wall Sad

No advice but sympathy!!

ProfYaffle · 01/08/2016 12:40

Yes, my 12.5yo is the same. Though even she gets bored after a couple of days of it.

BITCAT · 01/08/2016 12:41

Yep same my son is 13 also. Only comes out for food. But then my ds1 was the same he is now 17 and you can't keep him in now..I think.it's just a phase.

Original poster
miku · 01/08/2016 12:42

sigh. Happy holdiays everyone! Wink

OP posts:
Northumberlandlass · 01/08/2016 12:43

My son is 13 in Sept - he is awake & up EVERYDAY at 6.30am.
Although is happy to sit & play xbox, he will only do that if his mates aren't around.
They 'play' out for hours still, making YouTube Videos, bike park, building dens.

Purple80 · 01/08/2016 14:09

Yep my daughter 13 the same only seen friends once during the hols so far and prob won't see them for rest of hols just sat in her room watching net flix and and writing stories on what pad in pjs at the mo. If I suggest we go out somewhere together she will come but ideas of places to take a teen are running short. We went to the sea side yesterday but when we got there she didn't want to go on the beach not bothered about arcades so we just ended up walking down sea front then in a few shops fish and chips then home think we was only there a couple of hours. Oh well 5weeks left to go.

feelingdizzy · 01/08/2016 14:19

Mine are 13 and 14 ,I have implemented a no PlayStation till after lunch rule.ds 13 tried to get round it today by having breakfast at about 10.30 and then something else at 11,then telling me he had eaten his lunch !
Dd 14 appears to have no boredom threshold,leaves her room to get (complain about) food.
I drag them out regularly, really not worth it.We in Scotland 2 more weeks.

Lilaclily · 01/08/2016 15:41

Do they all have tvs in their rooms then ?
I think we might be too strict
We've banned all ectronics upstairs !

Stevefromstevenage · 01/08/2016 15:54

DD is just a bit younger so in fairness hormones may not be engaged to the same level. At the start of the summer we agreed nice things (3 X DC but DD1 was main negotiator on the kids side) they she wanted to do. Cinema trips, some shopping etc etc and then we agreed a daily timetable. Morning work - housework jobs/chores etc then afternoon something active with stuff from their her list done regularly. So far, so good and I think that is partly down to her buy in to both the timetable and choice of activities from the start. Might their be something like this your DD might be interested in or am I in deluded bliss until the hormones rage in next summer Grin ?

BITCAT · 01/08/2016 18:01

Lilaclily all mine have Tvs in there rooms. But we do have a strict rules of TV off at certain times and they are generally pretty good at sticking to it.
Mine are 10 13 14 17. The teenagers especially like there own space so they can watch TV with there friends and not be disturbing the rest of the house who may not want to watch what they are watching.

EveryoneElsesMumSaidYes · 01/08/2016 18:13

It's perfectly normal and she will grow out of it, I find it's quite a self conscious age, my son was just the same until about 6 months ago, he's now 16 and I worry because he never seems to be home!
Does she speak to her friends online? Does she have friends at school?

MabelSideswipe · 01/08/2016 18:18

My 13 year old DS is happy to stay in his room all day. He comes out to eat or if he has something he wants to tell us or to start a row with one of his siblings.

He gets his social interaction by shouting at his mates when they play online video games. He is only allowed on after 4pm.

He will sometimes get so bored he consents to a little outing, particularly if there is food involved.

pinkieandperkie · 01/08/2016 18:23

I think it's just a phase, at least all the time they are in their room you know where they are and what they are up to. In a few years once they can drive you never see them and you wish they were home safe in their room. They always come out for food or ask for money.

Original poster
miku · 01/08/2016 23:19

DD met up with friends in the park in the afternoon, after whatsapp session- which she is on as soon as she comes home. (She's reading books too.) Thanks for your reassurance- she's normal! yay!.......er, I think

OP posts:
ummlilia · 02/08/2016 14:02

My 12-year-old is currently asleep at 2 in the afternoon; seems like putting her clean laundry away proved to be too exhausting for her (!) ..poor lamb Wink

Original poster
miku · 02/08/2016 18:05

LOL @ummlilia! came back from work at 2.30 today and my DD, bleary eyed and still in pjs, announced she'd just woken up, and had slept so late because Id woken her up early at 8a.m! ah, so I just have to laugh to get through this! thanks guys!

OP posts:
Sequentialchoring · 04/08/2016 10:31

My 13 yr old has no technology or telly in bedroom. And she is only allowed to use her lap top downstairs in main room. But dh has just taken it away today (and her Ipod) because she wasn't sticking to agreed time limits. She has had warning after warning after warning and still hasn't stuck to the contract that we agreed together! She is furious with us and there is a horrible atmosphere in the house. I hate this. Sad

Sequentialchoring · 04/08/2016 11:17

(Btw she has already had a holiday, gone to holiday camp with friends, had friends over for a sleepover, and a family birthday party btw so it's not as though she has been deprived of nice things to do)

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