Ds (13) won't let me meet his girlfriend!!

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Overbearing mother alert!!!
Ds (yr 9) has recently made friends with a girl in his year at school. He's started going out to meet her after school and on the weekend. They message each other a lot when he's at home.
He's been perfectly open about the friendship (after a little interrogation from me and is sharing a lot more info with me than I ever did with my own mother!!!).
I've suggested they hang out at our house instead of wandering the village when the weather is shitty but he is mortified by this idea. I've promised I won't embarrass him and will leave them to watch tv downstairs while I hide in my room but this is still a stupid idea (in his opinion!!).
Any thoughts? Should I back off and just let him do as he wants? I admit I am a little terrified of this teenage phase...my own was hideous and I don't want Ds' and my relationship to turn out like mine and my mother's.

[zen1]

Reading with interest. DS (yr 8) is going on his first date in an hrs time! I am nervous on his behalf

[Sparklingbrook]

Don't get attached zen you will end up heartbroken.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Weallhavewings- I thought them being downstairs, in front of the tv, was a safer option and upstairs is embarrassingly messy.
Sparkling - thanks! I am prone to overthinking things and sometimes I find this parenting malarkey tough!!
Lizzie - I might have already checked she's in his year
Sooper - I only suggest she come here when he wants to go and meet her when it's raining or when it's getting dark.
Fortunately (hopefully), most of my overbearing behaviour/nosiness goes on in my head.
I shall back off and leave him to it.
Thanks for the opinions

[Sparklingbrook]

Is there anywhere they could go other than stand in the rain? No coffee shops or anything?

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Aww, let him go out!

He won't dissolve. I fondly remember getting absolutely soaked because the boy I liked was out so I didn't want to go home. I wouldn't do it now, but at the time, it was a good decision. We had fun.

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

It really is horrendous out there today (flood warnings!!) and there is nowhere to shelter, at all. I promise I'm not a precious type (infact, I'm too much the opposite way!!).
IoraRun - we are close and I am thankful, every day, that we are 6 months into the teen stage and still communicating . Although, the grunts are becoming more frequent!!!
Zen1 - eek!!! A proper date? Where are they going? How are they getting there and back?!?!

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Sparkling - nowhere within walking distance. I was just thinking we could do with a little cafe in the village for them to go to. Unfortunately, we only have pubs!
Anchor - I spent most of my youth out in the shitty weather too but we had loads of places to shelter.

[zen1]

I will try hard not to Sparkling, but I already feel a bit invested as he has told me so much about her and asked for my help in what to say etc (he's liked her for aaaaggges!)

[Sparklingbrook]

My DSs are 16 and 14 now. It takes quite a bit of getting used to the girlfriend stuff I think. The thought that a girl would be interested in them for a start.

He does know Valentines Day is soon doesn't he Hiccup?

[BabyGanoush]

just back off, and leave him be

easier said than done!

[Sparklingbrook]

Oh zen you are already involved. Plus he's asking you advice.

[zen1]

Hiccup, we live on the outskirts of London so plenty of places to meet up. I suggested McDonalds, but was told "everyone goes there!", so they are going to a coffee shop. I have advised him to offer to get the bus home with her afterwards as a nice gesture! (They live in opposite directions)

[zen1]

He has 15 mins before he has to leave. I keep humming the Countdown theme tune.

[madmotherof2]

Ah zen how exciting!!

My DS is 12 and I'm dreading him getting to this stage!!!

[RudeElf]

Rude - blush In what way

Just the pestering. He doesnt want to bring her home, its a first girlfriend i assume? Leave them be. It'll likely not last more than a few weeks. Do you insist he brings all his friends home or is he allowed to meet boy mates in the rain?

[Sparklingbrook]

Has he got money and phone zen? Are they going halves on the coffee?

[rogueantimatter]

It's really uncommon for 13YOs to bring boyfriends/girlfriends home IME. Definitely don't take it personally. Perhaps they think that bringing a bf/gf home is 'too serious'.

As Sparkling says, it's unlikely that this will last long anyway. I give it three months tops! (sparkling my DD had the loveliest bf ever when she was 14. I was 'gutted' as they say, when it ended.

I think a lot of the appeal of a gf/bf at their age is the novelty and feeling independent.

I didn't know that my DD had a few bfs when she was 13 until she was 14. In retrospect I was glad!

Yes, the teenage stage takes a bit of getting used to...

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Aw, zen, I hope they have a successful first date!!
I do wonder if I'm just a little bit jealous.
I want to go on a date!!!
Re Valentine's Day - I sent him into the card shop the other day to choose a card for his aunt's birthday, thinking he'd maybe sneak a Valentine's card at the same time, while I waited outside with the shopping but my hint was obviously too subtle because he asked me to go in and help choose his aunt's card
Update - he's on his way out to meet her now in the pouring rain!

[Sparklingbrook]

rogue. DS didn't tell us they had split. We were on holiday and we were looking around the shops. There was me bleating on about getting her 'one of those nice bracelets she wears' and showing him some.

He then told me.

[zen1]

Yes Sparkling, I have given him £10 and have made sure he has his phone. I have suggested he offer to buy the first drink, but said they should take it in turns to buy ( he is very keen not to be sexist!).

madmother DS is 12, nearly 13. In my mind, he has gone from 11 to 13 and missed out 12!

Hope your DS doesn't get too drenched Hiccup!

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Hiccup He'll come home on top of the world, and absolutely glowing, even if he doesn't give you many details.

I started keeping a towel by the door so I could dry off a bit as soon as I got in. Still loved every minute.

Now I'm 25 and definitely don't fancy braving the wind and the rain...I'll leave it to the youth! :)

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

RudeElf - I'm really not pestering him about it. It's only when the weather's bad and he's asked to go out. I already know all of his other friends (friends since start of primary) but yes, if he wanted to meet up with them in similar circumstances, I'd offer for them to come here. They mostly communicate via the ps4 though and none of them will go out in the wet or cold

[HiccupHaddockHorrendous]

Zen - it's ok, he's taking my coat...it's much better than his own in the rain, apparently
Anchor - I'll leave him a towel by the door

[RudeElf]

Ah fair enough Op. It did come across in your initial posts that you had been going on at him about it. It was just the interrogation comment and the cool mum comment. It sounded a bit try hard but fair enough if thats not what you meant.