How do you make them pay housekeeping

[TuTru]

My 18 yr old DD just got thrown out of college for bad attendance. Despite pretending to go.
Anyway, I said fine but you have to pay rent from now on.
She's disputing the amount with me, she works 8 hrs a week atm but could work loads more, always turns down the work.
I said "well you have to work more so that you can pay, or you move out"
She just says no she won't pay.
What do I do? I'm reluctant to throw her out, but I think that's the only way she'll learn.
What do you all do?

[sweetheart]

Tu, I don't wish to sound harsh or judgemental - but some things you have said about the way your dd speaks to you - she shows you zero respect! When you said she'd probably break your washing machine.....did you mean that? I can't imagine my children going out of their way to be destructive to such an extent to get there own way. Your dd sounds quite spoilt and entitled and like she needs to wake up to the real world and get a work ethic. I think if my dd behaved this way at 18 I actually would throw her out for being a brat.

[TuTru]

Yes sadly she does act that way. My sister said she acts like she's been spoiled all her life even though she hasn't.

[BertieBotts]

I would stop doing washing and buying toiletries. That's not your responsibility, and it sounds like she needs to learn some.

Then these are contingent on rent being paid:

• Having food/meals cooked for her
  
• Wifi code
  
• Netflix Password
  
• Sky PIN
  

£30 a week is reasonable. I expect her friends pay similar.

Let her apply to the hostel :) I'm sure she'll get a wake up call whatever way that goes!

[sugar21]

She has to learn that you are not her servant. Don't do her laundry, don't clean up after her, don't do anything for her.
When I was 18 I was living with my bf and had a baby to care for.
Your daughter needs to grow up and smell the coffee. If she goes to the hostel she'll wonder what's hit her

[TuTru]

yes you're all right.
I need to stand my ground now.
I can't actually afford not to, anyway.

[Travelledtheworld]

TuTru don't blame yourself. Her behaviour is not hour fault.
Some teenagers are just like that.
Good luck.

[dreamingofsun]

agree with travel. stand your ground, but anyone criticising on here probably has toddlers and not hormonal/insecure teenagers

[TuTru]

I don't feel criticised, it's fine. I like it that people here are honest. I find all the answers to be supportive to be honest.

[curiousc88t]

I would suggest some chores round the house as well as being employed & contributing

Gardening, hoovering, washing cars, walking dogs, cleaning, ironing, cooking, put bins out etc

If she is not going to contribute ask her to sell some unwanted "stuff" on Ebay or car boot

Perhaps you could ask if she choose the wrong course at college & is there anything else that she is interested in. perhaps she can join another course next year ?

What are her short and long term plans for the future ?

Sky and Netflix are luxuries

I think you need to stick to your deadlines and "fines"

Leaving college & working little needs to show some consequences