A dress or similar for my Mother's funeral. Am stuck.

[SirVixofVixHall]

This is in parallel to my thread about a dress for my DD (age 11).
Anyway. Am in the midst of grief and organising, and have nothing at all to wear. My weight goes up and down (thyroid probs) and at the moment I'm at the fat end, not helped by eating my bodyweight in biscuits while my mother was ill.
I'm size 12ish I think, in most things. I might need a 14 if the sizing was on the small side. I'm tall, and I have a small frame as I was a size 6-8 before the thyroid packed up. So a narrow back, but a big cup size. (28GG) I HATE my knees (chub) and anyway as I'm tallish things can be shorter on me, so I need a midi length. Would consider a maxi. I look better in grey than black but accept that it will probably need to be black, navy ok too. Or even a very dark green that I could wear under a black or grey coat. I have an old fashioned face, and look better in vintage, I don't do modern drapey type things, they don't suit me. I have been hunting for a 30s or 40s suit but no luck, so need to buy something new, and it will have to be online as I'm in the middle of nowhere.

If you've got through all that then i salute you! And I'm sorry to throw out the search but my brain is cotton wool, I'm exhausted from caring for my Mum as she was dying, and I want to look lovely for her. .

[SirVixofVixHall]

Thank you Paradise, gonegrey and everyone. I feel bleakly sad today. But I am glad that the service was lovely.

[ParadiseCity]

Well done my lovely.

[SirVixofVixHall]

I hadn't heard of the National Youth Choir, will have a google. She is in the school choir. We are in Wales, so we have the eisteddfod system which is really good for singing, both solo and chorally.

[gonegrey56]

The dress you wore sounds beautiful and I am sure looked stunning . What a sense of style you have, no wonder you worked in fashion. I am so pleased the service went well but know exactly what you mean about the finality of it all. A close friend said to me when she was dying "you don't have to stop loving me just because I am gone". I have taken great comfort from that and think of her often / talk to her sometimes .
Well done to your dd, such composure and poise . (Has she considered the National Youth Choir? My dd - now 20 - spent her teenage years in it and it was a life changing experience for her)
Take it easy today, you need to be kind to yourself after all your hard work in organising such a marvellous tribute to your mother .

[SirVixofVixHall]

Thank you Jamie, i like that dress.
Well I've just got home, and I am worn out, but everything went well. The service was lovely, my daughter sang like an angel. My nephew did his reading really well. And I sang with my daughter. The flowers were unbelievably beautiful. I wore a Nancy Mac dress in the end. Not the one shown earlier as it arrived and didn't fit me properly. I was going to wear the 40s dress, but I woke up with a killer headache, and it is quite heavy, and weighty on the back of the neck, which tends to make headaches worse with me, so I went with another Nancy Mac dress that I already had, which is long, and black silk satin, but with a large flower print in a brownish colour. I had a black coat with little embroidered flowers. It was comfortable as its bias cut.
It felt horrible "leaving" my mother in the grave. Even though she is in with my Dad, and I know that she isn't there anyway, any more. Just walking away was the most difficult part of the day for me. That, and hearing my dd's sweet soaring voice, which floored me.
Thank you to everyone for all the kindness and good wishes, honestly it has helped and I've really felt the warmth and care of all you wonderful women.

[JamieFraserskneewarmer]

or even "longer"...

[JamieFraserskneewarmer]

How about this, it is dark blue and loner length and a very forties look

dress

[WindPowerRanger]

Glad you like the poem.

[gonegrey56]

I hope today is not too much of an ordeal . Thinking of you , and your lovely daughters . Stand tall and proud .

[SirVixofVixHall]

WindPowerRanger that poem is so lovely. I hadn't read it before, although I am v. fond of Seamus Heaney. Thank you so much for posting it.
And to everyone for all the help, support and kind suggestions.

[N0tfinished]

Sorry to hear about your loss

I have this dress in cobalt. And it's the most functional, flattering dress I've ever had. Non creasing, washable & drip dry, suits everyone I've ever lent it to! I was considering buying it in black for funerals/formal events

[N0tfinished]

Sorry to hear about your loss

I have this dress in cobalt. And it's the most functional, flattering dress I've ever had. Non creasing, washable & drip dry, suits everyone I've ever lent it to! I was considering buying it in black for funerals/formal events

[Lucked]

Sorry I missed the post about the great dress you have bought.

[Lucked]

I bought the dress for my fathers funeral from Winser London from their miracle collection. Not below knee but a decent length and good thick material which was flattering.

It's a lovely dress but I haven't been able to bring myself to wear it again although it is suitable for work. Don't want you to spend £££ and for it not to be worn again.

[WindPowerRanger]

I don't know if this poem is at all appropriate for your mother. I offer it as comfort in the hope it is. I read it (just) at my grandmother's funeral as it summed her up. Courage, ma vielle as my mother likes to say:


‘When all the others were away at Mass’
[from Clearances in memoriam M.K.H., 1911-1984]
by Seamus Heaney

When all the others were away at Mass
I was all hers as we peeled potatoes.
They broke the silence, let fall one by one
Like solder weeping off the soldering iron:
Cold comforts set between us, things to share
Gleaming in a bucket of clean water.
And again let fall. Little pleasant splashes
From each other’s work would bring us to our senses.

So while the parish priest at her bedside
Went hammer and tongs at the prayers for the dying
And some were responding and some crying
I remembered her head bent towards my head,
Her breath in mine, our fluent dipping knives–
Never closer the whole rest of our lives.

From New Selected Poems 1966-1987 © Estate of Seamus Heaney

[ParadiseCity]

Another one who will be thinking of you on Thursday.

[gonegrey56]

The flowers sound glorious, the beautiful scents will help sustain you. What a thoughtful daughter you are. I will be thinking of you on Thursday .

[SirVixofVixHall]

Phillip Kingsley maximiser you say? Will go and bulk buy! The only good thing about my hair is that it is curly, which gives it a bit more oomph, if it was straight I think I would have to have a Jean Sebourg crop. Which i did have years ago, when I realised there is no nice way of growing out frazzled bleach and just had it all chopped off. It really needs cutting though. I am going to see if there is any possibility of getting it done. I want some lovely colour too but have left it natural as it has been falling out so much. Iron seems to be helping the thinning too, as I have low iron.
I am properly touched by the warmth of everyone, and it will help to hold me through the grimness of the day. Its on Thursday and I am absolutely dreading it. There is a lot still to organise, but at least the wonderful florist friend who is making the coffin piece has been able to get Lilies of the Valley, my mother's favourite flower, that she had flown from Lord knows where for her Wedding (not lily of the valley season). And proper scented roses.

[BikeRunSki]

Oh, i've seen you've got your (fabulous) dress. Please ignore my previous post.

[gonegrey56]

Fabulous dress purchase!
Yes, I echo the advice about calling for hair help. People do want to support others at sad times, don't hesitate to seek out assistance (and I find spraying on Philip Kingsley's Maximiser works brilliantly on my similarly underactive thyroid thinned hair).
Thinking of you, I hope the stresses are easing bit. You will look wonderful in any of the options you have selected. x

[ParadiseCity]

That is a really gorgeous dress. Well done. I read your hairdresser woes - I was in v similar situation for my grandmothers funeral. I didn't have a clue what to do so I asked a friend with nice hair, called her hairdresser and wailed about being recommended by X and having a funeral to go to, and they took pity on me and stayed open late just for me. Hope you are able to organise an appointment somewhere.

Good luck for the funeral. We are all willing you on xx

[BikeRunSki]

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.jaegeroutlet.com/women-dresses-outlet/women-dresses-outlet,en_GB,sc.html#www.jaegeroutlet.com/women-dresses-outlet/women-dresses-outlet,en_GB,sc.html?prefn1=refinementColor&prefv1=Black%7cBlue&prefn2=size&prefv2=12&start=0." rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">Some lovely tailored black lace dresses at Jaeger outlet.

You'll need to scroll through. The link has filters for "black, blue, 12" which had also thrown up some rather bright blues too.

Sorry for your loss.

[MrsLettuce]

Oh, the one you bought is stunning. Absolutely lovely.

I hope having this aspect of the organisation sorted gives you a little peace

[SirVixofVixHall]

MrsLettuce, I had been looking at that dress just before I checked the thread! It comes in a midi length too but in a sort of deep aubergine rather than black. That is pretty much the classic late 30s shape that I look best in, and I have another Nancy Mac dress in silk in a size 12 which is a good fit, so I know the fit works for me. I bought this www.etsy.com/uk/listing/276213172/stunning-1940s-rayon-cocktail-dress Late last night, I think I will also buy the Nancy Mac one, and maybe the Hobbs navy lace, then I can choose which to wear when I see which looks best on me . I then also have the pretty dress co slim fitting dress as an option if the others don't suit me. So I think I am sorted! Thank you so much everyone, I am so touched by all the help and the thought everyone put into choosing things that might work for me. I am so worn out from all the stress and grief, and so choosing something flattering and suitable has seemed a gargantuan task.
to all you lovely women, taking time to help me. x

[vindscreenviper]

Something like this? It's last years Boden but is this the sort of shape/length you'd feel comfortable in?
for you op