Sleeping Arrangements for SD, DS and Baby

[Tia12]

I’m just looking for a bit of advice really, we have a 3 bedroom house, 1 bedroom downstairs and 2 upstairs, no attic as it’s a dorma bungalow. My husband and I currently have the downstairs bedroom, my 12 year old SD has the larger room upstairs with small en-suite (she sleeps over 1 night a week) so we have also used this room as a guest room for when my parents/family come to stay (they live 7 hours away). We have a sofa bed in the lounge which at the moment SD enjoys the novelty of getting to sleep on when they visit. My 3 year old DS has the smaller upstairs bedroom. It has worked well so far (been in the house 3 years now) however we now have a baby boy on the way and I am trying to figure out the best sleeping arrangements for everyone. Any advice would be much appreciated 😊

[Santaispolishinghissleigh]

My ds 3 slept though dgs staying over twice a week from 5 months!! In a good routine I doubt your toddler would be affected by sharing with ds in the bigger room. Dsd in the smaller room.

[PoesyCherish]

I don't think it's fair to make SD share because of their age gaps. I would give her the option though of sharing with one of the boys or having the smaller room - that way the ball is in her court and it's her choice to make. Worst case when your family come to visit you just move the DC around whilst they're there - that's what always happened in my house growing up.

I don't think it's bad to leave the small room empty most nights. It doesn't sound very big so it's not like you're leaving a huge room empty whilst your boys cram in a tiny one.

Fwiw I was with somebody with a DS years ago. He was in our room until he was around 18 months old and also shared with his mum and stepdad at her house until he was about 2/2.5. We didn't have a choice back then as none of us could afford a bigger place. He doesn't seem to have had any adverse effects from it though. If you are worried about your older DS being woken up by the younger one, you can always keep younger one in with you until their sleep is much better.

[Penhaligon]

If she's 12 already then she won't be sleeping over for much longer. By the time she's 18 I imagine she'll be working or off to uni and then the boys could have a bedroom each. That's only 6 years of sharing.

[Somerville]

A teenage girl sharing with a young child isn’t realistic long-term. Before long she’ll have periods to contend with, then GCSE revision, etc... You’ll also probably find as she gets older that her stays become a bit more ad-hoc and the nights she’s with you change regularly depending on her schoolwork and social life and Saturday job, etc...
I’d keep it as it is while the baby is in your room, especially as you’ll probably have guests to visit baby so will need that occasional guest room anyway. (Be warned that at the point she has bad period pains/worries about leaking overnight she almost certainly won’t want to be on sofa bed). Make a plan for where baby goes and potentially swapping DSd and DS’s rooms round once you see how well baby sleeps, etc.
My son is now 14 months and still in with us, because older siblings all need their own rooms (homework etc..). I think we can manage this way until he’s at least 2, so it’s given us breathing room for our extension.

[phantomofthenorthlaine]

Explain to SD when the time comes, the space issues, the fact that she's growing up and needs her own room, that the LO's are noisy so it wouldn't be fun to share with them & then let her redecorate the single room just for her - buy new bedding etc. Either that or give her the option of the sofa bed when she comes round. Your DS will probably me more adaptable than you think.

[yakari]

Just make it clear options will keep changing as circumstances change and keep rooms neutral (but maybe use soft furnishings to personalise)
So baby arrives and in with you, then at 6 months or so baby in cot in big room but back with you when SD visits or you have guests.
Then when baby is older put the two little ones in the big room and move SD into small room, guests in your room or sofa bed.
When SD gets older and stops staying over as much then split the boys up eg older boy moves into smaller room but keeps some toys in bigger room.
If you build an extension all change again
And so on and so on ....

[Tia12]

Thank you for all these comments and advice, I’m trying to take it all on board before making a decision.
Unfortunately we cannot really have the baby in our room much more than 6 months, we can fit a small crib next to our bed but not enough room for a cot. We would move DSD to our room and we would have the large room with cot however DP and I feel that all children should be upstairs together (at least until DSD is older). You are right, as time passes she will likely stay less and less as she will want to be closer to her friends and doing activities etc on the weekends. Im so torn between DSD sharing with DS or moving DSD to the small room. I’m leaning towards DSD sharing with DS at the moment as this is her preference as she likes having the ‘big room’, and also because I think if DS and baby are in separate rooms everyone will have a bettter quality of sleep. I’m conscious though that as puberty hits DSD this preference may change. Perhaps could keep everything quite neutral and move rooms again if things/feelings change - or hopefully get that extension 😊