Share your stories of giving or receiving support following premature birth with Tu at Sainsbury’s and Bliss this World Prematurity Day - £200 in vouchers to be won

[JustineBMumsnet]

From thousands of Mumsnet discussions, we know that giving birth prematurely can be a major event in parents’ lives, bringing with it a whole host of experiences and emotions that parents hadn’t necessarily planned for - and, of course, sometimes, some really difficult scenarios.

Around 8 in 100 babies are born prematurely according to the NHS - that’s one in 13. While lots of these are ‘planned’ premature births, others are unexpected. As Bliss, the UK’s leading charity for babies born premature or sick, points out, not all of these babies will need to be cared for in a neonatal unit; however, some will need specialist care or extra medical help, meaning that their early weeks can be very hard on their parents too.

Understandably, parents in this situation often need a lot of emotional and practical support, and it’s for this very reason that Tu at Sainsbury’s has today launched their first ever Premature Baby clothing line, in partnership with Bliss.

Tu’s Childrenswear Buying Manager, Melanie Fieldsend, says: “We’re really proud to be expanding our babywear offering to now include premature sizing, in the hope that we can help to support families in this small way through what can be a challenging and unexpected time.”

World Prematurity Day is on the 17th November and Tu would like to encourage you, our generous Mumsnet community, to share the little (or big) things that you found useful when giving or receiving support following premature birth - from sourcing baby clothes to helping with childcare for older children or perhaps being an emotional support when needed, and the things you wish you’d known. If your baby was born premature, what helped you the most during this time?

All who leave a comment in the thread below will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £100 Tu voucher as well as a £100 Sainsbury’s voucher.

If you’re currently pregnant or have recently had a baby born prematurely and would like to find out more about prematurity and the support available to you, get in touch with Bliss.

Thanks,

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

[Blueroses99]

In terms of support, I had a blog where I documented each and every day. Many of my followers were from various Mumsnet threads where they had supported me through my pregnancy and cheered on my DD in NNU. The kindness of strangers was incredible.

[wheresthespacetorch]

My first was 500g, 23 weeks. The most helpful thing was our amazing army of friends who took a key to our house and kept our fridge full of home cooked meals for her first 3 months in hospital. I wish I'd known how hard the transition home would be; the terror of being alone with a baby on oxygen with no nurses or doctors to reassure us. It feels like a lifetime ago, but it's just a few years. It's hard to believe she was that fragile when I look at her now.

[flowersanam]

Does not apply to me

[Sid98]

My family was the one who helped me out the most

[kateandme]

listen.a premmie cause you to think every worry you al;ready have about a new born time 100!so let someone be heard even if to a rational being these worries seem absurd.
meal support.arrived home to full fridge and meals for a week.
be patient and help ground people.you dontneed to be fixed,you need to be supported.

[burwellmum]

It is so much easier to find premature baby clothing now than it used to be - but don't buy too much, once you get them home they can grow amazingly quickly.

[poorbuthappy]

My twins were 6 weeks prem and thankfully only spent 2 weeks in SCBU because their size (3lb 15 and 4lb 5) was the only thing which needed dealing with.
I spent everyday with them during that time which was had esp on DD1 but my family were fantastic.
Everyone in the hospital were great with me and I never felt lost or unsupported.

They wore babygros constantly (obviously - well actually till about 18months old as they remained quite small for ages) and I can clearly remember being upset that they didn't fill the smallest babygros we could find. It sounds superficial but having clothes which fit premmies would have made such a difference.

[YesIDoLoveCrisps]

My baby was six weeks early. I felt like my heart was ripped into two as he was at the hospital and I had to also be at home with my other children.
What helped was talking about it and having someone listen, so I could let my feelings out.
Eight years later if he’a upset or has hurt his knee playing football I still get flashbacks to him in his little incubator and I get scared - but I allow myself to feel that way as it was a scary time in our lives. (Also my husband kept a supply of biscuits nearby at all times and for that I am eternally grateful )

[Sodamncold]

Loving kind and patient support

Help with cooking and cleaning!!!

Quick sourcing of clothing

[MuseumOfYou]

Interesting timing for me, my 29 weeker is actually 21 today! So it's all been on my mind for a few days.

He was 2lb 11oz, and in SCBU for 4 months. I was warned he would be small, have a weak chest and likely to be in and out of hospital. He never went back again, he's now 6ft, size 11 shoes and in his second year at uni.
His care was second to none and we were well supported by Bliss.

A lot of it is a blur but i do remember feeding was an issue as I had fed my older two children and was desperate to establish breastfeeding but I had never had much success with expressing. I really caused myself so much stress as I couldn't bring myself to let go of the idea as I felt I was letting him down.
One day a lovely neonatal nurse, who'd had a prem baby herself, said no one could have done more to establish breastfeeding and that somehow gave me the permission I needed to stand down. She was so supportive and understanding, I will never forget how much better she made me feel.

It is a long journey and I still feel I was very fortunate in the support I received.

[CircleofWillis]

My daughter was born at 26 weeks and 600 grams. Bliss volunteers ran weekly groups at the hospital and made everything so much better. They helped with breastfeeding and provided books to read next to the incubator and necessary calories in weekly cakes. There were very few premie clothes available at that time. Even nappies were like duvets on my daughter.
When we left hospital Bliss organized meetings. Initially they were the only place I felt brave enough to take her. I learned how to dress my child for the winter and made some very good friends with other parents whose children did not look like giants next to my tiny baby. John Lewis and online stores were my only source of small enough clothes until she fit into tiny and then small baby sizes.

[PickledChicory]

My niece was born just a few weeks premature, 34 weeks I think. She was absolutely tiny. I rushed out to buy tiny clothes. I provided support for my sister and took her washing away while she was in hospital. I cooked and shopped when they got home.

[Disabrie22]

As my tiny newborn son lay on my chest, I reflected on the fastest and surprising two hours of my life. That morning I’d been with a friend who’d been making a short film, my husband was playing a doctor. Later that evening we found ourselves racing to a real hospital, timing contractions in the car - our baby was coming five weeks early. Just after midnight, we were cradling our first born, shell shocked but starry eyed at our tiny beautiful boy.
Nearly three years later, leaving our very robust, cheeky son with friends, we raced to hospital with baby number two - arriving even earlier this time at 33 weeks. Our tiny daughter was born with a cap of feathery black hair and after a hasty cuddle she was taken off to get assistance with her breathing. As I placed my hand inside her incubator and stroked her back I realised how immensely grateful I was for the incredible medical support for early babies. Two weeks later we took her home - a blur of tea and coffee in the Bliss charity coffee room, of postnatal tears and tiny knit hats donated by local ladies, of pumping milk in the little room nearby. The strange, whirling blur of premature birth stays with me - and I’m grateful to live in a time where modern medicine protects and supports early babies - and allowed us to be parents to our precious children.

[Joanna1009]

My third baby was born by emergency section at 32 weeks. I had an irritable uterus which was being monitored and she went into distress. Unfortunately she did not get steroids for her lungs due to the emergency situation. She was born with sepsis, a necrotising bowel and her lungs collapsed leading to her being put in a coma and being intensively ventilated. She is now almost 7 years old and is thriving with the exception of a little delay with her comprehension under the speech and language therapists. Looking back, I wish there would have been more support for her older siblings around what was happening to her and why their mum wasn't as present with them. Also, the medical staff were always far too 'clinical' and lacked the level of care and empathy that the nurses had.
Zara, 28 October 2013 4lbs 4oz

[MissEP]

My daughter was born 12 weeks early and weighed only 2lbs! it was impossible to get clothes for her so it is fantastic to see that TU is having a range. One suggestion could be to encourage the 'recycling' of clothes or donations to hospital wards - the only way we managed to get clothes was from donations and you only need them for a small amount of time. At the time though I couldn't even imagine my daughter wearing 'normal' size clothes, she is now 7 years old and wears size 8-9 clothes so she certainly has caught up! there were so many worries and stresses around her birth, we took her home when she was only 3lbs but you get through it and do the best you can and I am so proud of her and so lucky to say that she is now perfectly fine in every way :)

[1969angep]

Our son was 6.5 weeks early (though quite big still) and the staff at the NICU were super supportive. He was only in the NICU for 10 days and quite healthy throughout. It was all about establishing a feeding routine before we could get home.
We received so much advice from the staff - from how to wash him, feeding and sources of additional support, if we needed it.

[MermaidPancakes]

My son was born at 36 weeks and although healthy now (he's 5 months old) he didn't get the easiest start in life. He was born with a cleft lip and palate and stopped breathing at 14 minutes old requiring resuscitation. He had meconium aspiration. The support we received in SCBU was absolutely amazing from the neonatal nurses to the cleft team they all helped us while we learnt how to feed him with special feeding bottles from CLAPA. He required oxygen for the first 16 hours of his life but we were extremely lucky that he bounced back quickly and discharged 3 days later. He's now had his cleft lip repaired and will soon be getting his palate repaired but he is just the happiest little soul I've ever known

[Blibbler]

My dd was 8 weeks early and very unexpected. A lovely mumsnetter answered my post about where to buy prem clothes. She turned up at Manchester st Mary's with a giant bag of prem clothes. Wouldn't take any money for them and did me a giant kindness. At the time I had neither the money or energy to shlep around shops and my dd needed a lot of layers to keep her warm once home. I passed the clothes on to another prem mum once my dd had outgrown them.

[Weirdfisher]

For me it is to remember to be kind to yourself and accept any support and help offered. More people want to help and support you than you first realise.

[Marketa85]

My twin daughters were born at 36 weeks with one weighting 3lb 13oz. She needed to spend few days in special care and everyone there was absolutely amazing- they even allowed both me and my husband to see her at the same time (given we had twins and I needed to wheel the other twin from maternity ward, which didn’t allow visitors due to covid). Also the initial donation of few tiny baby nappies and couple hand knitted jumpers was most welcome!

[purplepandas]

Ours was a very difficult situation as my eldest twin DD died after both were born at 29 weeks. So both in NICU and then very sadly just one after DD1 died. It was a tough time to say the very least and a huge blur in many ways. The staff were amazing and I think the only thing I could say here in terms of help. They listened to me and let me spend precious time with DD1.

[zombiedmummy]

Things that’s helped when our daughter was born 8 weeks early

A) friends making food. We were too exhausted to look after ourselves.
B) pictures in the hospital of babies who had survived - gave us hope
C) pampers premature nappies - felt like they were on our side.
D) kind nurses
E) a mini fridge by the bedside for expressing overnight.

[fancyfrogs]

DS was born in August at 28+3 and spent 8 weeks exactly in two different hospitals. Covid restrictions made things a whole lot harder than I imagine they'd have been already as me and DH weren't allowed to visit together ever and had allocated timeslots to visit which was really hard but the staff were absolutely amazing. They made use of video and picture sharing (v-create) so we'd get an email every so often when we weren't there with a video and cute message or something. They also made a journal for him and I loved going in on a morning and reading the latest updates, definitely something I will keep and read over forever. The support with breastfeeding (both practical and emotional) was second to none when I was finding it so difficult to establish too.
It also goes without saying that I couldn't have got through it without my own parents helping us out with shopping and walking the dog etc.

[fancyfrogs]

Oops posted too soon - it was also a huge help that in both hospitals we were given free parking permits as i'd hate to know how much we'd have spent had we had to pay to park on site!

It was such a huge deal when he could start wearing clothes too however there was a very limited selection so I was thrilled to see Sainsbury's starting to sell them. Things with Velcro/poppers on the shoulders and sides were fab for us as DS was on oxygen for most of his NICU stay and they were easy to put on and take off. (1st day wearing clothes was of course marked with our bliss milestone cards!).

[clareykb]

I had 2 sets of premature twins first set were born at 24w and say died on the unit at a week old. Second set were 6 weeks early and we were in hospital for about 2 weeks. One huge thing for me was that first time round it was very unexpected and we were blue lighted to a hospital miles away when I was in early labour as no where near by had any cots, I had nothing with me so my parents had to go and buy everything for me like maternity pads, PJ's etc from a 24hr supermarket. We were also in a flat on the neonatal unit as we weren't near home so the best thing anyone brought us were posh ready meals! My second set were obviously lots less early and sort of planned early as I. I knew we would never get to term. Still with them they were pretty small and it was hard to get clothes on the high street so I think its great that Sainsbury's are starting to. They are 7 now and in their normal size in TU school uniform.