Share your stories of giving or receiving support following premature birth with Tu at Sainsbury’s and Bliss this World Prematurity Day - £200 in vouchers to be won

[JustineBMumsnet]

From thousands of Mumsnet discussions, we know that giving birth prematurely can be a major event in parents’ lives, bringing with it a whole host of experiences and emotions that parents hadn’t necessarily planned for - and, of course, sometimes, some really difficult scenarios.

Around 8 in 100 babies are born prematurely according to the NHS - that’s one in 13. While lots of these are ‘planned’ premature births, others are unexpected. As Bliss, the UK’s leading charity for babies born premature or sick, points out, not all of these babies will need to be cared for in a neonatal unit; however, some will need specialist care or extra medical help, meaning that their early weeks can be very hard on their parents too.

Understandably, parents in this situation often need a lot of emotional and practical support, and it’s for this very reason that Tu at Sainsbury’s has today launched their first ever Premature Baby clothing line, in partnership with Bliss.

Tu’s Childrenswear Buying Manager, Melanie Fieldsend, says: “We’re really proud to be expanding our babywear offering to now include premature sizing, in the hope that we can help to support families in this small way through what can be a challenging and unexpected time.”

World Prematurity Day is on the 17th November and Tu would like to encourage you, our generous Mumsnet community, to share the little (or big) things that you found useful when giving or receiving support following premature birth - from sourcing baby clothes to helping with childcare for older children or perhaps being an emotional support when needed, and the things you wish you’d known. If your baby was born premature, what helped you the most during this time?

All who leave a comment in the thread below will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £100 Tu voucher as well as a £100 Sainsbury’s voucher.

If you’re currently pregnant or have recently had a baby born prematurely and would like to find out more about prematurity and the support available to you, get in touch with Bliss.

Thanks,

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

[sheepysheep]

I was told to leave Sainsbury’s in Darlington when I tried to breast feed my early baby on a sofa near the changing rooms in the deserted Tu / clothing section of the shop. The female shop assistant told me that breastfeeding was “disgusting”. I complained to JS at the time via email and was ignored.

[JustineBMumsnet]

Thanks all for sharing your stories on the thread. The original winner of the prize draw wasn't able to accept the prize, and the name out of the runner up hat is @Disabrie22

[YesIDoLoveCrisps]

I remember how much my husband supported me despite feeing the same way as me. He was by my side every minute he could be and did everything he could to help me and be positive. He literally held my hand, and even better fed me tea and biscuits.

[zindeggeh]

When my sister in law gave birth to a premature baby, everyone was shocked. I can't say I remember what I used to tell her, but all I know is that my words of comfort helped somehow and reached her at her lowest points.

[yellowgecko]

Was there ever a draw done for this thread @JustineBMumsnet ?

FWIW I had my 2nd premiere baby just before Christmas and was gifted some 5lb clothes from Sainsbury's. They were beautiful, happily she outgrew them pretty quickly

[alshareif]

I was so scared when I gave birth and all the clothes I had prepared clearly did not fit and were too big. I had to use micro nappies and someone even suggested doll nappies (which i find funny now lol).

[salemaxo]

Nobody in my family had a premature baby before, so I had to look up advice online and some of it was great. I think I would have spent all that time crying if I didn't.

[saffysabir]

I think the thing that helped me the most was people being supportive of me, but not in a 'oh I pity you'. I felt everyone was helpful and though they were worried, they all gave great advice.

[ruqiya1965]

I've been lucky in that I haven't had any premature babies. However, that does not mean that I don't know the fear of them or of having tiny grandbabies. I think the main thing is to be positive. Negativity ruins everything.

[Sweetcheeks21]

Our first born arrived at 34 weeks. She was a good weight but needed some help with maintaining body temperature, feeding and with jaundice. Mixed experiences. I wasn’t allowed to stay at the hospital which was incredibly hard. I pumped at home every 2 hours and stayed at the hospital from 9am-9pm. One night they gave her someone else’s milk by mistake. Another night she had a dummy in her incubator even though we’d never agreed to her having one (& were heartbroken think she’d been crying all night). One staff member in particular was very ‘matronly’ and told me off for wanting to cuddle her too much 😔 We were so glad to have her home after 2 weeks.

[PatrishaPatel]

I think the main thing is to realise that other people have been in the same position as you, and so you know there will be help and support available and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. As long as everyone around you is staying positive and you're not overthinking or stressing about it all, your kids will be fine.

[Serender]

My sister in law was inconsolable after she gave birth to her DD prematurely, and I remember being there for her and just encouraging her to stay positive and giving words of encouragement. I just tried being there for her and being positive.

[sophiefx]

I've never had any experience with premature birth but have heard so many stories and seen so many news articles about it. I love the fact that there's more clothes for premature babies in stores!

[excitednerves]

My first was 7 weeks early. I was overwhelmed with the kindness of friends and family. One person at work sent me all their preemie clothes from their own little boy who had been born premature a few months earlier, people rallied to make sure we had everything we needed for taking DS home. It really took a lot off my stressed put and anxious mind.

Being in neonatal is a terrifying time, it’s such a rollercoaster but the nurses who work there are truly guardian angels and the support from other mums on the unit has been amazing both during our time there and in the 18 months since we’ve all been home.

I’m now 37 weeks with my second and hoping for a smooth and straightforward delivery.

[twinmum2017]

My girls were 6 weeks early. It was a planned c section as we'd had complications with the placenta. They were tiny at 3lb5 and 3lb9 and hadn't yet developed a sucking reflex to feed.

We were extremely lucky with very little intervention needed, but NICU is hard and I am ever thankful to the wonderful staff who supported us and took care of my babies.

[TwittleBee]

I've had two babies born prematurely, both 28 weekers. One survived for only 5 days but his little brother was born this year and is now home although still requiring oxygen support.

Nothing can prepare you for premature birth and nothing can prepare you for a death of a child or the stresses of life with a NICU graduate.

It is completely life changing and support is so very much needed to help a family through.

I'll always be grateful to the hospice that helped give us support in our son's short life, they helped us create memories and keepsakes and they continue to help us now with our grief.

Our family and friends have been amazing, they'd ensure our firstborn was totally cared for, we were all eating well and give us words of comfort. They have done so much for us as a family.

During lockdown, I spent 3 weeks alone unable to leave NICU due to us all having to isolate on the unit and I'll forever be grateful to my friend's mum who had an inside contact that managed to sneak me in a lovely parcel of treats and magazine. They were very much appreciated by us NICU Mums. It was a very lonely and scary time but us NICU Mums helped support each other through, with a 2 meter distance of course.

[88bowie]

My son was born at 28+1 weeks in Italy on what was ment to be a Babymoon in 2018,
The nicu is a long and hard journey and we spent 108days in three different Nicu's in two different county's which involved one air ambulance and far to many land ambulances. Our journey is far from over but we will get their just on ur own path. At the start of our journey we used bliss to try and answer sooo many questions that we had about what was going on and why premature labour had happen.

[Sleepybumble]

My twin nieces were premature, I bought loads of prem/tube friendly vest and suits for them. My brother and his wife said they really liked that gift as they could dress them in their own clothes and felt it brought a bit of normality to a scary part of their life. Years later they still bring it up as the most useful present they were given initially

[daisychain76]

My child was 7 weeks premature. I'll never forget the kindness of the midwife who early next morning bundled me into a wheelchair, roped in a nursing assistant to carry my drips and took me to see him for the first time in NICU. During his time there thoughtful texts from friends and the patience & kindness of the NICU nurses meant a huge amount.

[Kijaji]

My first was 6 weeks early weighing 4lb 7oz, I was a young mum and had no support from the hospital/health visitors and felt completely overwhelmed, he used to take an hour to feed and took forever to put on weight (he is now a healthy 14 year old), my daughter was born 3 weeks ago and was 4 weeks early (was
Induced due to placenta failing), still no support but I knew what to expect this time around and could cope on my own, luckily she feeds brilliantly and has surpassed her birth weight after a few weeks.

[PeaceAndHarmoneeee]

My second DC was induced 5 weeks prematurely due to ICP. He was in HDU and SCBU for a week.

I had v little support from the hospital, was put on the postnatal ward without my baby who was 2 floors up on HDU, I had to traipse up there several times a day - in my post birth state- to take expressed milk (having had to fight for them to give me something to express into) and to see his Drs. It was utterly shit but at least he was ok in the end.

My advice would be to take up every offer of help - childcare for other DC, food, cleaning etc. And keep badgering the hospital staff if they are not letting you know what's going on or being supportive. And don't worry that your baby isn't always sitting up/ crawling/ walking at the same time as all the others, it might just take them a bit longer.

[Queenbee95]

Adding to my above comment - my biggest support was my Family Nurse. Being only 19 years old I was entered into the FNP which gave so much more support than a health visitor. She helped me over come so much, got me in touch with breastfeeding support groups, helped source clothing and smaller nappies, etc. She even supported me through severe post natal depression. She was my only life line at the time and I am so thankful for her and the whole Family Nurse Partnership and I hope all young, expectant mothers who use the partnership feel the same way too ❤️

[Queenbee95]

DS1 was born at 36 weeks, so not overly premature but I was only 19 and didn’t even know things like size 0 nappies for prems, or tiny baby clothing. I had already bought everything newborn + so it was hard to have to run out and find smaller clothes for him.

Thankfully he was born happy and healthy and he didn’t need a stay in NICU, which I will always be grateful for 💕
He’s now a massively cheeky 5 year old, enjoying his new journey in school, and you would never know he was a premature baby at all!

[Motheratlast123]

Premature and born in the first wave of lockdown. Double whammy. Size 0 nappies and premature baby clothes were extremely useful.

[Kweenxo]

My niece was born premature 3 years ago. She was so tiny and she was her mother's first baby. So understandably my sister in law was very upset and worried. She wasn't producing enough milk. And she worried that her daughter wouldn't grow properly. But thankfully she stuck to it, fed her bottled milk and 3 years later she's an absolute gem.