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Share your embarrassing stories with Flora and you could win a £200 John Lewis voucher NOW CLOSED
KatieBMumsnet · 10/09/2013 12:49
When my Parents were still alive I treated them (and me) to a weekend away. Booked a lovely country hotel and after dinner and a few drinks, we made our way to our rooms.
At some point in the night I heard a click - it woke me and I found myself standing outside my bedroom door and the click was the door locking shut. Unfortunately I was stark naked.
I crept along to my Parent's room, banging loudly enough to wake them but not other people nearby. Eventually my Father opened the door. He got me a towel and went off to find the porter to open my door.
My Mother, who was quite a large woman, got the giggles, we both starting laughing and she was shaking with laughter so much the bed broke. Father returned with the Porter to open my door to find Mum collapsed in hopeless laughter and we all had to haul her off of the floor.
Never did go back to that hotel.
DS & DH bought me a voucher for a Clairins all over massage for my birthday. I saved it until the weekend after OfSted and went to enjoy my lovely massage in Clairins i Debenhams. Three quarters of the way through I was amzingly relaxed, almost nodding off when the store fire alarm went off. The Clairins lady said not to worry, it was just a practise. 10 minutes later it was still sounding and there were announcements to evacuate the premises. 10 minutes later again the Clairins lady popped out to check an saw that in fact the whole store had been evacuated. So we had to dash out, me in a gown & paper thong, into Debenhams packed car park on a Saturday afternoon. I shrunk up against a gate feeling somewhat vulnerable. Suddenly I hear DS -' there's Mum - I can see her bottom' at the top of his voice. I was very 
Switched to my incase-it-outs-me name, because it will if anyone I know reads it!
My DS1 embarrassed me before he was even born!
I think it was the first may have been the second session of an evening course I was taking. I'd recently had depression & only just learnt to drive. I was very proud of myself for getting myself out to an unknown place to be surrounded by strangers. It was a big deal for me.
The instructor gave us a little chat about what was expected during the classes & mentioned that, since we're all adults, we should feel free just to take ourselves off to the loo if we felt we needed it. I hated the idea of drawing attention to myself so I tried to avoid it but eventually decided I was being silly & she said it was ok & I really did need to go. As quietly as possible I slipped out of the room.
Once in the corridor I started feeling a little iffy so got myself into the loo as quickly as possible. Literally as soon as my cheeks hit the seat I had explosive diarrhoea & passed out! Once I came round still on the seat somehow I carefully cleaned myself up & decided to sit on the floor with my legs up on the side of the cubicle until I felt better. Except I didn't feel better, it got worse. I crawled back onto the loo & repeated the whole passing out/sitting on the floor thing, but forgot to clean myself up quite as well.
Eventually the instructor came to find me & called in to ask if I was ok. Feebly, whilst sitting on the floor in now soiled underwear, I muttered "ummm... Not really..." She ended up calling the janitor who found me some water, someone else waited with me & the instructor went digging through my bag to call DH who then had to call our friend to give him a lift because I had the car! I must've been in there for at least 40 mins & had to make my way through the room as the rest of the class were leaving to gather my things. Once I could stand up without nearly passing out I was utterly mortified at the whole fiasco.
That was how we discovered I was pregnant! I went back to the class for all the following sessions but avoided eye contact with everyone!
That's the most fuss I'd ever had... Until DS1 was born at home but we had to transfer in at 4am in an ambulance. & that was the most fuss until DS2 was on his way & we had to transfer in mid-labour at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon with the entire street watching me writhing in pain & DS2 was born in the ambulance 2 minutes later! I'm a little scared by what might happen if we ever have DC3! 
@ ILove welllllll!!! we saw one another for a couple of months and it fizzled out. Turned out that his ex wife was, in fact his present wife!! so I'm glad it fizzled out really!
Oooh! another!
In the 80's I was working in a well known store and was the store first aider.
One Saturday during the summer we were having a big refit and the air conditioning was out of commission due to said refit.
I was called to a young lady who was feeling faint in the heat. She was with her sister and I sat the faint lady on a chair whilst she felt unwell, hoping that she'd recover without the need of further assistance from me (which she did).
She was wearing very fashionable clothes for the time, but I put her feeling faint together with her smock style dress and asked the sister when her sisters baby was due to which she replied 'oh she's not pregnant, she's just fat!' I wanted the ground to swallow me whole!
Went to a church service, DS was two or nearly two. Sitting on chairs in a circle, small, family-oriented service, not one where you sit in pews.
DS was starting to learn his numbers 1 to 10. Vicar was there and some other young families, with children playing on the rug in the middle.
Vicar started a short sermon which involved the children picking up and bringing things to him (symbolic of the sermon being given).
DS starts counting loudly, gets to 6 and then starts: "Six six six. Six six six. Six six six. Six six six. Sixsixsix. Sixsixsix." In a Christian church service.
Couldn't live it down for months!
Thank you for all your comments
The winner of the prize draw is...
ILoveAFullFridge
Congratulations, I'll PM you for your details.
Oh! I just realised - it's JL voucher, not cash. Very very happy bunny, doesn't feel guilty at all now
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