How can we make Britain more family-friendly?

[Carriemumsnet]

Mumsnet are launching an initiative to try and make Britain the most family-friendly country in Europe (well...the world actually, but we thought we'd start small ) Ambitious plan? Just a bit, but we think long overdue. We want to challenge companies - and we're talking everyone from travel firms to supermarkets, restaurants to mobile phone merchants - to join our programme and find out - from Mumsnetters - how they could make their industry more family-friendly. We're going to look at every aspect of how a company operates from how they market their goods to the welcome and facilities they provide to families. And then we want to encourage them to do business in a way that makes life easier for families not more difficult, and ultimately give Mumsnet Family-friendly awards to the ones that do it well.

Obviously we'll need lots of help and input from the folks who know most about all this - ie you. So before we really get going, we want to know what you think. What does family-friendly mean to you and what criteria should we use to judge whether a company is family-friendly or not? What do you love about what some companies are already doing and - just as important - what do you think they should stop doing? Is it the way companies try to sell products to you or your children that makes you cross or is it the fact that you can never squeeze your buggy down the aisle at your local coffee shop? Or both, or neither? If you could pick three things you'd change about any industry to make it more family friendly - what would they be?

Lots of questions but we'd love to hear your thoughts so please, post 'em here

Thanks

MNHQ

[bbee]

Funny that GetOrfMoiLand, I was scanning down to see if anyone has already said what Custardo has said!

[bbee]

Oh and I don't have teenagers yet - just trying to bring my lil ones up to respect others (boy oh boy now that probably makes me sound like a very old parent!).

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Yes, what is wrong with hissing at your children out of the corner of your mouth 'keep that racket down, you're showing me up'

[compo]

'foxytocin Wed 01-Sep-10 08:19:56
Have nursery care facilities (at least birth to 3yo) at the workplace.'

pie in the sky or what?!?

[juuule]

"pie in the sky or what?!?"

The place my sister worked at had an attached creche if that's the sort of thing that is meant.

[appledumpling]

Adult food but a child's portion. So many places assume you want your children to eat crap. Er, no, I don't.

Buses that I can take the buggy on. I know the old-style ones are being phased out round here but they always seem to turn up when I actually need to be somewhere or am very tired and don't want to walk.

Buggy-friendly loos. We've just been in town and it's a nightmare (Mothercare, that means you too). There are lots of places where I can change DD (and could have fed her when she was smaller) - it would be so helpful to have a loo as well.

[MmeLindt]

Getorf
My children are more than able to go to a normal restaurant without showing me up. We went for lunch today and I took stuff to keep them amused.

Saying that, if i am choosing a restaurant I do go for htose that have at least a tub iof coloring pencils as it saves me schepping all the stuff with me.

I think that the campaign is a good idea, even if it just highlights which places are good to visit with children. In the current climate I cannot see the government or local authorities signing off anything that is going to cost a lot of money though.

[mollyroger]

would it be bad taste to suggest integration, not segregation. I'm fed up everything being polarised into kiddy-friendly and adult-only. There has to be a middle ground? That would be family friendly. A family is not just about the children, is it?

[SpeedyGonzalez]

Has anyone mentioned house building yet? That current thread about British houses is jam-packed with ideas for how to make houses function well for family life.

[Dominique07]

To make Britain more family friendly lets start with London, people who help your child when he falls over on the bus, good, a bus driver who can help you out when you're struggling with a pushchair and toddler and people who wont move out of the way, even better,

busy streets by busy roads with narrow pavements - really unhelpful, big wide pavements with trees and seats and room for kids to run about away from the road - excellent,

people's attitudes to kids;
when people on the bus take an active interest in helping you stop your toddler screaming for the whole journey - helpful,

shop keepers who suggest you leave the toddler and buggy with him so you can browse in peace and his shop display is safe - thank you! (even if you are distracting him with a packet of sweets) Hmm... But this is part of the problem of taking kids out, the general rule is, he can do anything but not scream which is completely letting your child get away with anti social behaviour and holding you to ransom.

[hmc]

It's attitudes, attitudes, attitudes - not sure what you can do about the miserable purse lipped intolerance that many people display toward children

[KiwiKat]

Talking about London - access to the tube for prams and wheelchairs - withOUT having to carry or bump the beknighted things down every single step. DH tells me that lifts are incredibly expensive, but lift access in every station is still a dream of mine.

[WhatFreshHellIsThis]

Sorry, probably been said already but am in a hurry!

Swimming pool family cubicles - impossible to take two children swimming on your own without them

Small portions in restaurants, and not all children like crap food - my 4yo won't eat chips and isn't keen on baked beans.....

Not all families are two adults and two children, please please please family tickets to things that cater for more than two children

Airlines - why do people with young children always get allocated the crap seats at the back, where it's bumpiest?

More later

[thecatatemygymsuit]

Agree with everyone who says we are already family/child friendly. Not only do most cafes/restaurants offer crayons etc, it's hardly a massive effort to bring paper/pens with you, is it? There are parks, museums, galleries everywhere. Trick is teaching your children to behave in a grown-up world, not the other way round!
I think affordable child-care is probably the biggest issue.
Having said all that, I hate the big gaps between platforms and (overground) trains. They are terrifying, whether carrying a child or buggy! But I think this may be beyond Mumsnet's remit?

[thecatatemygymsuit]

PS regarding portions in restaurants, I tend to find that most decent places will do you a half-size portion if you just ask, even if it's not advertised as such. Or order a starter?
Maybe I am smug easily pleased but I don't notice half the problems brought up on this thread.
But I do like the loos at Bluewater .

[theboobmeister]

What retailers do or don't do doesn't make a huge impact on my life, I must admit. I just vote with my feet and go to the family-friendly places, which receive a clear incentive in the form of extra business from families (surely retailers 'get' this already, do we honestly need a campaign to tell them??)

However, employers could make a significant improvement to the quality of my family life by a massive expansion of part-time work. And not just supermarket jobs or "get rich quick from home" schemes, thanks - we need a lot more professional jobs to be available part-time.

I think many working parents would go part-time given the chance, but currently they have few options, which is a ludicrous waste of their skills and education. And in a time of rising unemployment, this would be a sensible way to spread what work there is around more evenly.

[Frizbe]

I'll echo the post that asked for family rooms that can sleep 5 people, I don't want two rooms for our family when I go to a hotel (particularly as no one in UK can ever guarantee adjoining rooms when you book). I'd just like to be able to have us all in one room for the night! Also like the idea of more suite hotels, a la citidines.

[GraceK]

I like the free balloons that are filled with helium - then you can tie them to the wrist of your mischeavious toddler & see where they are when they're hiding under the clothing racks.

I think Britain is pretty good for baby-changing facilities, but would like more smaller toilets with inset loo seats so potty trained toddlers don't have to balance over the gaping loo. Plus sinks at small people level. No hand driers in the "kids" loos as I know lots of children including DD1 who are terrified of them - they're v. noisy & go off unexpectedly when they walk underneath them. More paper towels even where there are hand dryers for the same reason.

When there is a big queue for the ladies, I wish the grown ups would occasionally let the toddler who's hopping from foot to foot jump the queue. One of the reasons we like John Lewis is the family loos don't tend to have big queues & have room for a buggy & a small person loo (though it could do with a small person loo-seat & a step).

The putting kids clothes upstairs thing is really annoying but the companies make more money from the grown up girlies. When H&M did this in Southampton (where they only have a 1 buggy-sized lift) the staff said they'd complained but were told it was an international store plan from head office.

Re crayons in restaurants - surely their job is to provide you with decent food (hopefully in sensible sized portions)? As a parent can't you take crayons & paper? When places do have them, they tend to need sharpening anyway.

Maternity hospital beds with side-car cots so cathered, stitched ladies can reach their newborn children to feed them without calling (the already busy) staff or injuring themselves further attempting to reach them on their own.

Like the idea of Mumsnet Awards.

[bluefinger]

I love ikea, it's very child friendly, my dc's adore the smaland thingy, childrens portions in the restaurant are also reasonable.

I would agree with the toddler/baby sized portions in restaurants. Ds2 is 10 months old, he eats a few blardy mouthfulls, I don't appreciate being charged £4 for it.

We often go to wetherspoons for a meal as it's close, the children's portions in there are ridiculous. They have the same sized plates as adults, I had a burger and dd had the chicken nuggets, she got more chips than me!

Otherwise it is the typical putting childrens dept's on higher floors/at the back. No floor space for buggy's, desirable (to a child) sweets/gum etc at buggy height at tills. I lost count of the amount of times dd shoplifted some random item from the local shop.

I also think combined feeding/changing rooms are minging. I have never seen a bf'd Mum in one of them yet. Who the fuck wants to sit and feed and watch/smell shitty arses for the duration.

[bluefinger]

I like the loos at my local shopping centre, they have buggy ones which are large and can fit buggy plus children in. Shame they are usually filled with single women though, selfish buggers.

[bluefinger]

To the people who don't want any more child friendly places, I find the only place my children can actually let off steam and run around like loons is soft play (hell on earth). Even in parks etc you will get the tutters, my children are LOUD I can't help it, I do not run them by remote control. If I could get them to shut up for 5 minutes I bloody well would.

[YunoYurbubson]

I am a little unclear about this whole concept.

What is family friendly to one MNer is not to another.

The ideas on this thread are not revolutionary and anyone who owns a cafe or restaurant has made their choice to either provide colouring pencils or not. We can't assume they ought to. Maybe they don't want to.

I am not convinced we can start making demands on private enterprises. Pandering to the wants of parents is not always profitable.

And in my experience, council run things are very family friendly already (if, by family friendly you mean high chairs, colouring in on the children's menu, wheelchair accessible, baby changing facilities).

I DO like the idea of a MN badge of approval though. Rewarding businesses that work for families, rather than MAKING Britian be family friendly.

[gorionine]

The only thing I would change are the children menu, they should not always consist in

fish finger/chicken nugets
french fries/mash potatoe
beans/peas

I was born and raised in Switzerland, it might have changed now but the notion of "special children food" was inexistant and we always ate a smaller plate of the same food as grown ups.

I think that a guide that lists places that offer things like colouring books, puzzles and other child friendly services is a good idea but why force all places to offer that? Why not teach our children that sometimes if you go out to eat , what you do is actually eat and have a conversation with your family and nothing else?

[pebblejones]

I would like to see every shopping centre/superstore/restaurant have a baby change/family room where either my DH or me or both of us could change nappies, with a separate area for feeding. I hate places who have a baby change area that turns out to be a hard worktop within the ladies toilets! I would like to be able to manoevre my buggy around a shop easily but rarely can because the shops are overfilled and half the time it's like a maze! In fact I would like all shopping centres/superstores to follow the example if Westfield in London, which is very baby/child friendly even down to their fantastic cars/buses etc for children to ride around the shops in!
I also would like to see more safe, well manintained playgrounds and parks.
And finally for people to be more tolerant of families and babies, babies cry, toddlers have tantrums, we don't need everyone tutting and shaking their heads at us!

[Othersideofthechannel]

Bluefinger, do the restaurants insist you order a child's meal for your baby? I've always taken my own food for babies or given them bits off my plate.

Also, you don't have to buy a meal for each child. Until DD was 4 we always ordered a child meal for DS and asked for an extra plate and they shared.
We've done this in England and France and the USA.
No restaurant staff have ever raised an eyebrow at this. Sometimes they even brought out the one meal on two plates which I always thought was very respectful of her feelings.