Problems with Ritalin and being bullied....help! (long, sorry)

[Chocol8]

I wonder if I could pick your rather clever collective minds about a couple of things:

Firstly, my ds's school have reported that in the last fortnight or so that there is a "fluctuation in his behaviour" in the afternoons. I can't say that I have noticed this at weekends, but will monitor it this weekend. Apparently, he "fidgits, is unable to sit on carpet in one place, crawls around, shouts out and makes noises". I suggested it may be due to a growth spurt and his med may need to be increased, however I was not happy to do this until I have spoken to his consultant.

I am seeing his teacher next week to speak in more detail. However, the second thing is that my ds is being bullied.
Last week he was forcefully pushed from a standing position to the floor by his head and into a lying position. Then a "big boy" took a jump into the air balled himself up and landed on my ds's chest. He was unable to breathe in without sharp pain for quite a while and was obviously very distressed and upset.

I received a note telling me that he had a hurt himself on the chest but there was no bruising! For Gods sake he is all skin and bone with not an ounce of fat on him at all - especially on his breast bone. He did have a mark that showed up a few days later however.
Various incidents have happened more recently one where he had his shoes taken (don't ask me how) and he was left with just socks on on a muddy field. Today he was tied to a tree with a skipping rope and kicked. I am told that his teachers and dinnerladies are keeping an eye on him in the playground...yeah right! He wears a bright orange anorak for a very good reason ffs, to attract the dinnerladies attention incase he gets any hassle. It's obviously just not working.

I called to speak to the new headmistress as I know she has zero tolerance on bullying, but she was busy and I spoke to the monosyllabic deputy head who just said that they would not be taking action unless it happened again. He could not see (maybe cos he is male??) why I was so upset at the jumping on chest incident.

I realise that his peers cannot figure why he is different, they just can't work it out but they know instinctively that he is. He is such a friendly, helpful little soul (when on his Ritalin) and is having a really hard time understanding why his "friends" are hurting him and picking on him all the time. It seems to be the national passtime to pick on him at the moment! What can I do, what can I tell him? I feel like saying he should punch them back but I can't. How far should I take this? I told my ds that I am going to write down all that he remembers about the incidents and speak to his teacher about it. Should I insist that the headmistress is present when talking about this?

Any suggestions gratefully received, sorry it is so long.

[heartinthecountry]

Too mild Davros - I can think of another name but can't post it here .

So sorry you had to see that ignorant message chocol8 - ignore, ignore, ignore. Good luck with your meeting.

[coppertop]

They will "see if the SENCO can attend"??????

If the SENCO can't make it then I would make a wriiten record of what happens at the meeting and give a copy to him/her.

Good luck with the meeting, Chocol8. I hope things get beter for your ds soon.

LOL at TC's suggestion.

[Jimjams]

I think whatever word you chose davros it has to encapature the IGNORANCE and SMUGNESS of someone like pinkshoes. Actually I'd rather they were forced to have experience of ADHD and so they could stop talking out of their backpassage.

Hope today is OK choc. I'm on tenter hooks today. Seeing the ed psych, but have also just found out that ds1's new LSA (who is excellent) may have to leave as her son (AS/ADHD) may be being expelled from his EBD school. Sigh. Really feel for her, but can't believe we may be back to the beginning with LSA's etc- just when it had all been sorted. Also everyone keeps talking about sepecial shcool which pisses me off because a) ds1 is the only autistic child I know round here who is happy to go to school (prefers it to home) b) is learning and c) - this is the real bugbear- there aren't any bloody places in the special schools anyway. The people I know who have managed to get thier kids in have had to watch the mainstream placement completely break down before getting anywhere near the door- ds1 isn't going to get in.

Good luck with the appointment- will send positive vibes in your direction whilst I try and do the same for mine

[ScummyMummy]

Millions of positive vibes to Chocol8 and jimjams for today. Really hope things go fantastically for both of you.

No positive vibes to pinkshoes, I'm afraid.

[Marina]

Good luck to you both for today, Chocol8 and Jimjams. Hope the appointments go well.
Horrified at what your little boy is having to endure at school chocol8. I really hope you get some action from the school.

[binkie]

Lots of sympathy & best wishes from another of your fans, choc & jimjams.

I think pinkshoes is the calpol person. Well, person isn't the word I really mean.

[mrsforgetful]

HOW DID I MISS THIS 'PINKSHOES' ATTACK????

mESSAGE FOR HER......people like you remind me why there is a HELL....so you can go to it.

Thankyou to all you mumsnetters who have been supportive to all us parents of children who are taking these drugs.......we do it out of love ....and if F*ing PINKSHOES has a supply of magic wands then perhaps we could try those too.

[Davros]

I think you're right Binkie, Calpol/Ritalin person is the same.

[jakbrown]

I missed the Calpol attack- what was that about?!

[binkie]

I think - hope - the threads are all deleted. It was someone with a peculiar obsession about how Calpol is, or can be, used as a sedative - peculiar in that they seemed prepared to put together 2000-word posts, full of links, references to research and so on, and to get involved in very long-winded argument - all without apparently having a personal perspective on the matter (ie, either for or against its use in such a potentially dangerous way).

[jakbrown]

Ah! Oh dear. Don't know what to say to that! Very sad people around.

[Thomcat]

How are you doing today JimJams and Chocol8?

[Jimjams]

How did you get on choc?

My meeting went well. First Ed Psych I've met who actually spoke some sense and wasn't a complete waste of space. Understood ABA as well......

[heartinthecountry]

That's good Jimjams - so does that bode well for ds1 getting better support at school?

[Chocol8]

Jimjams, glad your meeting went well - it's very sad that the majority of them don't know what they are talking about, but glad you had one who did at last! But what a shame about LSA! So sad.

MrsF - you missed the attack of the pinkshoes?! Ooh, I was soooo mad! Stupid goblin/poltergeist!

The teacher wrote back that the SENCo will not be available to attend a meeting until next Tuesday at the earliest, however I was welcome to meet with her on Friday for a brief chat. No mention of the headmistress getting involved either. Either they just cannot read or do not understand that I want the head involved. I called the chair of Governors but she was out so will try later after swimming lessons. Will catch up later, thanks for your support gals - don't know what i'd do without you. x

[Jimjams]

Well he has full time 1:1 heart in the country- always has- it's the school who need more support. They've always done their best (especially this year- his teacher is fantastic) but they need more specialist input. As everyone has always said he's an incredibly complex little boy- and I would never expect a mainstream school to have the training/knowledge to know ho to deal with that. He said that an overall autism specialist co-ordinator is needed to direct the school and also tie in his home programme- couldn't agree more- and its what the school need as well.

Anyway its given me a bit of a focus for next weeks statement review- think we need to focus on the outside specialists involved and see how to get them in more often/ more involved; both at home and school.

[Jimjams]

sorry to hear you didn't get very far choc.....

[Davros]

Assume you've seen this?

ofstedreinclusion

[Jimjams]

Yes- I heard that the chief inspector said that many children with SN are being failed by inclusion. And that the inclusion policy isn;t being implemented with enough support! At last someone has stated the obvious!

I always get the Guardian on Wednesday- hoping they'll have something sensible about it tomorrow.

[Davros]

Do you always have fish and chips on Wednesday then? Must be good where you live

[blossomhill]

Glad to hear it all went well today jimjams

Are they still talking about outreach to a sn school (I hope that's right?). If so how would that work?

[Jimjams]

My god Davros- I thought everyone read the Guardian in your area

[Jimjams]

Not sure BH- possibly- it would depend who becomes the coordinator I think.....

[heartinthecountry]

Sorry Jimjams - when I said 'better support' I was really meaning 'even better' as I thought he did have good support already... the problems with virtual chat and lack of intonation . Sounds like this Ed Psych will help push things in the right direction with more specialist support for school and therefore ds1.

They were talking about the inclusion thing on Radio 4 today - as you say Jimjams - stating the bleedin' obvious. The Telegraph have been covering this issue quite a lot (I have to read it at work before you ask!). There was an article last week about More House in Surrey as an illustration of how inclusion is not always best.

Sorry for hijacking your thread chocol8 - hope you manage to get them to listen to you properly.

[Davros]

Jimjams, you're right they do read the Grauniad round here as well as Variety and Kaballah Weekly . I'm strictly Private Eye and Heat, good combo I think!