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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Problems with Ritalin and being bullied....help! (long, sorry)

94 replies

Chocol8 · 08/10/2004 18:47

I wonder if I could pick your rather clever collective minds about a couple of things:

Firstly, my ds's school have reported that in the last fortnight or so that there is a "fluctuation in his behaviour" in the afternoons. I can't say that I have noticed this at weekends, but will monitor it this weekend. Apparently, he "fidgits, is unable to sit on carpet in one place, crawls around, shouts out and makes noises". I suggested it may be due to a growth spurt and his med may need to be increased, however I was not happy to do this until I have spoken to his consultant.

I am seeing his teacher next week to speak in more detail. However, the second thing is that my ds is being bullied.
Last week he was forcefully pushed from a standing position to the floor by his head and into a lying position. Then a "big boy" took a jump into the air balled himself up and landed on my ds's chest. He was unable to breathe in without sharp pain for quite a while and was obviously very distressed and upset.

I received a note telling me that he had a hurt himself on the chest but there was no bruising! For Gods sake he is all skin and bone with not an ounce of fat on him at all - especially on his breast bone. He did have a mark that showed up a few days later however.
Various incidents have happened more recently one where he had his shoes taken (don't ask me how) and he was left with just socks on on a muddy field. Today he was tied to a tree with a skipping rope and kicked. I am told that his teachers and dinnerladies are keeping an eye on him in the playground...yeah right! He wears a bright orange anorak for a very good reason ffs, to attract the dinnerladies attention incase he gets any hassle. It's obviously just not working.

I called to speak to the new headmistress as I know she has zero tolerance on bullying, but she was busy and I spoke to the monosyllabic deputy head who just said that they would not be taking action unless it happened again. He could not see (maybe cos he is male??) why I was so upset at the jumping on chest incident.

I realise that his peers cannot figure why he is different, they just can't work it out but they know instinctively that he is. He is such a friendly, helpful little soul (when on his Ritalin) and is having a really hard time understanding why his "friends" are hurting him and picking on him all the time. It seems to be the national passtime to pick on him at the moment! What can I do, what can I tell him? I feel like saying he should punch them back but I can't. How far should I take this? I told my ds that I am going to write down all that he remembers about the incidents and speak to his teacher about it. Should I insist that the headmistress is present when talking about this?

Any suggestions gratefully received, sorry it is so long.

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mrsforgetful · 11/10/2004 11:17

i hope you are ok- i bet you found it hard leaving him at school today.

my nearly-8 yr old Leigh sounds alot like your son...though it's my 10yr old Tom who is ADHD&AS.

Leigh talks constantly and without any concern that i have not got a clue what he is on about...he's into YuGiOh trading cards now....i am absolutely at my wits end as of all the 'obsessions' he has ever had this one is the most tediously boring for me!

Reason i mention leigh is when i read what you said about how your son had said about his face being scratched etc....made me think of 'HOW' I HAVE TO CAREFULY TEASE OUT OF LEIGH EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL EVERY DAY.....i always say to him 'how was your day' and he will usually say 'terrible'......i then get quite specific....i ask him WHERE WAS HE/WHO WITH/DOING WHAT/WHAT WAS SAID/BY WHO/HOW DID HE FEEL/DID THE TEACHER HELP......looking at it here it looks like a right old interagation....but my reason is that OFTEN (but not ALWAYS) he has MISINTERPRETED a situation or what has been said etc....this is often due to his literal way of looking at things. Obviously this CANNOT apply to your son being tied up with a skipping rope or being hung by a dinner lady- but maybe will help with the 'mini-meltdowns/anxieties' that he has....like the taps running- Thomas finds the teacher shouting upsetting so i frequently go through a coversation which goes....'you look stressed-was it noisy-were you told off-was it the rest of the class-did you get to work outside the class on your own today-etc'

i feel that often our kids come home having suffered 101 different issues that they cannot filter them out themselves....and they often mix up the contens into such a muddle that this is when the teachers/heads say they are lying.

sometimes with leigh i have to TELL teachers that it is his 'all or nothing/black & white' thinking that causes problems...last week i asked him to read some of his school reading book in bed- he said he wasn't ALLOWED as if he did he then had to do what they call READ WRITE & DRAW.....about what he read....i said he was still allowed to read for 'FUN'...but he refused -then choosing another 'home- book to read instead.....i checked with the school and as i knew- he was allowed....ofcourse.....but yet another example of how rule bound he is- and i make a point of telling the teacher all these 'minor' things as they all add up.