DD told by teacher to 'get over it' ....

[frazzledbutcalm]

Briefly, dd (asd) has to play what shall we do with the drunken sailor on a keyboard in front of the whole class ... all the class have to do this. I emailed senco and wrote music teacher a note detailing how this is traumatising for dd, how much worry and stress it has caused. Music teacher saw dd and talked at to her about her anxiety then told her she has to get over it, gave her a stern talking to and said she must go to her with any problems and she will be expected to perform all other pieces in front of the whole class as it's not fair on the others if dd is the only one who doesn't perform.

We're furious at the teachers comments .. dd masks her autism and I strongly believe the teacher would not have spoken to her in this way if her autism was easy to see. I have a meeting with the senco tomorrow to discuss this and other issues.

Update - I've visited the middle school and spoken to the senco, who also showed me around the school. She was great. School has less than 300 pupils, dd's year group has 19-21 children in each class. We went into lots of classrooms where lessons were taking place and every class was well behaved, friendly, good learning in place. Had a long discussion with the senco, she said we can apply for an EHCP whenever we want (contrary to what existing senco and LA say), but she doubts dd will qualify as she's very academic and achieves very highly so it will be very difficult to show an educational need/problem. She would qualify for a HCP but an EHCP needs to show problems related to learning/education. She feels that after everything I told her about dd, she wouldn't need an EHCP or even lots of the interventions dd current school are talking about. And I agree ... because the new school is much smaller, nurtures children, dishes out lots of TLC, doesn't make the pupils do things that make them stress with anxiety uncomfortable, they make allowances and cater to the individual child. I could go on and on! So we're giving it a try. I've submitted her online application to change school, dd is visiting it tomorrow with me, but she knows I've already applied for her. She was in her existing school today and 3 hours and Tuesday - that's it this week. Will let you all know how things progress.

err frazzled your DD DOES have an 'educational need/problem' - at the end of your last post you said how your DD has scarcely made it into school this week - she can't learn if she can't attend (well unless you have opted for home ed) and she can't attend because of anxiety probably because the school aren't meeting her needs... Your DD (like my DS3) I'm sure can 'achieve very highly' but only in the right environment with the right support and that CAN come under the remit of an EHCP.

I'm glad the middle school looks so promising and hopefully it will meet your DD's needs - but the SENCO is certainly wrong to say your DD is too academically high achieving to get an EHCP. I was told that for DS3 (and DD) - he got level 6 in all his Y6 SATS - but he got a statement last Dec - and the criteria haven't materially changed with ECHPs.

Great news frazzled but dont forget and panne is rigjt your Dd could need an ehcp!! Especially if she is unable to attend due to anxiety!!

Lets hope the new school will help with that but keep EHCP in mind!!

Good luck

Thanks panne ... I hadn't thought of it that way! The new senco did say we could apply for one if necessary. I'll definitely keep your comments in mind - it didn't occur to me!
Ineed ... I strongly suspect things will work out. But I'm ready if they don't.
Thanks again all.