5yo DS excluded from school - what now?

[IsItMeOr]

Reposting from special needs school section, for more traffic.

DS is in reception, and is currently on school action plus with a 1-1 support intervention this half term for his behaviour issues (primarily hurting other children). We're gradually getting through the health assessment process, seeing CAMHS for an initial assessment, have an assessment appointment booked with SLT in a few weeks and on a 6-12 month waiting list for a multidisciplinary assessment for a possible social communication disorder.

DS has today been excluded for two days because he attacked another child in his class. This is described in the letter from the school as an assault.

We have a meeting with school on Monday. Can anybody advise on what we should expect, and what we should be asking?

Thank you in advance - feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.

[IsItMeOr]

I don't think you need to go via the SENCO to see a copy of the record. Could you just email the Headteacher/school admin?

[iloveithere]

The senco is still preparing the document for the statement request. It is a huge form, about 10 pages long, from what I recall, that she has to fill with evidence. She even needs to ask ds for his views. It won't be with the admin team yet cos she hasn't finished it. Seems so much just to ask for a statement, IPSEA have a sample letter on their site that is about three paragraphs long, but apparently this is what our LA need the school to complete to get the ball rolling. Its been over 10 weeks now, I cant see how it can take much longer.

[IsItMeOr]

That sounds very frustrating. What's your instinct telling you?

DS's school have not started filling out any form. But they have a big folder of evidence - basically logs of what has happened on a daily basis (i.e. annotated smiley sheets, then daily written reports since DS has been on 1-1, written logs of any serious incidents) plus copy of report from external behaviour team, copy of IEP, annotated with updates.

This should already be to hand for your school, and is the evidence that they draw on in completing the form.

It shouldn't take 10 weeks simply to fill out a form, IF you have all the documented evidence ready at hand. My worry on your account would be that the school doesn't have the evidence documented.

Asking for a copy of your DS's record should allow you to assess that for yourself. If the evidence is there, then you can use it to support your own IPSEA style letter. If it's not there, you probably might as well write an IPSEA style letter anyway, as you probably have nothing to lose by doing so.

[iloveithere]

I have got an appointment tomorrow to go over the form before it is submitted.
I'm sure I still have a lot of fighting to do, as she explained to me that if he gets a statement it will be up to the schools professional judgement how to apply it, i.e. for how many hours and by who.
I said that all I had read told me otherwise, that it had to be very specific, but she just said 'no, its not like that'

Anyway, right now he is at home for stamping on a child's hand and punching another, all in a short period of manic behaviour.

Head tried to persuade me that because we have enough evidence now, this exclusion does not need to be recorded, but I insisted in should be done officially. I really don't care if it makes her stats look bad, if she is excluding him, I want it recorded as such. Or else it looks like his behaviour has suddenly improved, and it hasn't.

[IsItMeOr]

Oh ilove, sorry that it sounds like you are having such an uphill struggle.

That doesn't sound right to me either, re school getting to decide hours etc, but I'm newer to this than you.

Hope your appointment is okay tomorrow.

[iloveithere]

Well, I saw the request for assessment form and all the evidence,there certainly is a lot of it!

I made a few amendments, need to go in again to sign it on Monday, then it can finally be submitted. Woo hoo. It has taken years just to get to this stage, so I feel like it is a mini victory already.

Hope your DS is doing ok today, isitmeor.

[IsItMeOr]

That's great news ilove. Fingers crossed that you get the result you need.

We have a date for DS's multi-disciplinary assessment! Early September, which is better than we ever dared hope.

Also managed to persuade DS to finish his thank you for teacher/TA/support worker.

Woo hoos all around for us today

[iloveithere]

Into the last few days now, looking forward to the holidays.


DS only had 1 half day exclusion last week, so that was great, I really hope he can manage this last few days without being sent home at all.

Hope all is well for you, IsItMeOr.

[IsItMeOr]

One more day to go here. Last week was better, and today seems to have been good.

Well done to ilovejunior on a good week too.

Tentatively looking forward to the holidays...DS is generally loads better without so much time with other DC, so hopefully we will have a bit of a break all round.

[CurrerBell]

My DS is on his last morning at school today as well. It is his last day ever at this school thank goodness, so I just want him to leave without any more incidents.

Excuse the small rant but I really don't get how exclusions (as a punishment) are allowed for children with SEN - it just punishes the parents who already have so much to cope with. It definitely made my DS's anxiety worse - he knew he'd been 'bad' but at the same time he was allowed to stay at home which was a reward, so it didn't really make sense to him. When he now refuses to come to school in the mornings, it's harder for me to get across to him that school is obligatory, when school can choose to exclude him at will.

Also I read all the ABC incident forms recently and they definitely threw another light on certain things that were written in the exclusion letters. I asked to copy them but they said no... I didn't push it, but I will be getting hold of his file in September and copying everything off for our appeal.

I hope everyone's DC's have a good end to school and start to the holidays.

[OneInEight]

Totally get what you are saying with respect to exclusions making the anxiety worse. Both ds1 and ds2 found it very difficult to go back to school after an exclusion.

Infact, I am sure that one of the factors in ds2's current reluctance to go out of the house stems from the exclusion letters in which it was written that he was not allowed in a public place. Timing certainly coincides.

I do appreciate that school were finding them very, very difficult and the teachers should not have to put up with physical violence but surely it would have been better to put in extra support rather than make the situation worse by exclusions.

I have written this before on here but when I was going through the exclusions with the ds's I had two different headteachers tell me that the only way to get support was exclusion. This is just plain wrong.

[IsItMeOr]

Made it!

Sorry that you've had such a tough time CurrerBell, and finding out how much more likely children with SEN were to be excluded was a shock to me. I had no idea.

Hope everybody has survived today in reasonable fashion and sending peaceful holiday vibes.

[iloveithere]

Just 1 more day to go here.

DD leaving primary school tomorrow, and is feeling a little sad, so time for her to get some attention for a change.

Happy holidays everyone,

[IsItMeOr]

DS had a speech and language assessment yesterday - mainly a couple of standardised tests to see how his levels compare to his peers (result = generally in typical range). This will feed into his multi-disciplinary assessment in September.

But I had such a middle class parent moment, when DS had to pick two words out of four, and say why they went together.

So he (correctly) picks out table and chair, and says they go together because you eat at them. No eating on the sofa in front of the telly in our house since ds arrived.

It's all a bit surreal this, isn't it?

[IsItMeOr]

We had to put our old lady cat to sleep at the weekend (not unexpected, she was very old and had been poorly for a long time).

Not sure how DS is coping with it, as it's his first real loss. We are having some grumpiness, which isn't like him at his best. Guessing losing the cat may be behind it.

[Icimoi]

I'm sure I still have a lot of fighting to do, as she explained to me that if he gets a statement it will be up to the schools professional judgement how to apply it, i.e. for how many hours and by who.

Good grief, how can someone employed as a SENCO come out with this rubbish? Do they get no training on basic law?

[IsItMeOr]

I know this is a bit of an old thread now, but after everybody's support, I wanted to give an update.

So, DS had his assessment last month, and has been diagnosed with autism. We've been told that he would previously have been diagnosed with asperger's, but I gather that's not how they diagnose now.

School/we are filling out the Education, Health and Care plan assessment application documentation now. The Ed Psych went in to school to see DS soon after term started. School are optimistic that the council will confirm in a plan the level of support currently in place from the school (full time 1-1). I am not holding my breath, as I know we may need to fight for this.

DS had a new 1-1 from September. Start of term was bumpy - not excessive, but quite a lot of hitting out at peers. But the past week and a half have been consistently good at school - the 1-1 has come up with a schedule for break times (which have always been difficult for DS to navigate), which allows him some choice within clear parameters, and it seems to have worked really well.

So, if/when we get the EHCP sorted, it is looking like DS may be able to be supported in his existing mainstream school.

Main issue for us at the moment is coming to terms with the diagnosis ourselves. I am struggling tbh, and it has triggered some long-running anxiety problems for me.

Really hoping that DS will become more settled gradually, as school have a better idea of what is likely to help, and we keep trying with The Explosive Child, etc at home.

Thanks again for all your support and advice .

[fairgame]

My DS has ASD and managed 5 years in ms with full time 1:1. A good LSA makes a huge difference!
I'm glad you've got the diagnosis and you know what your dealing with now. Hopefully the EHCP will be granted without too much fuss x

[SystemId]

It takes time (to come to terms) - spending time with parents of other kids with SN was really helpful (surprised me how much)

[CurrerBell]

Thanks for updating IsItMeOr - good to hear that things are moving on and school are learning how to meet your DS's needs. It will take time to come to terms with the diagnosis (I know it did for me), but it will really unlock the door to getting the help he needs.

[Ineedmorepatience]

Be kind to yourself isit

Getting the right diagnosis can be a very positive thing once you have got used to it. Having a child with Asd is part of who we are. It sounds like the school are reacting sensibly and quickly which is great news.

Good luck