Long night-time wakings in a 14 mo

[drjane]

Hi - can't believe I'm still posting on this forum - I thought we'd have sleep sorted by 14 months! How naive.

Anyhow, the latest horror - which has been going on for about 2 weeks now - is extended wakings during the night. They last for 1.5 - 3hrs and can be any time from 12.30 to 4.30am. It's killing me. It seems to have coincided with his starting to walk, but surely that shouldn't last 2 weeks?

I've tried everything - picking him up and rocking him, leaving him, bringing him into our bed, giving him milk/water/extra blankets but the result is the same - awake for about 2 hrs. It's hideous. He seems to be tired, but just can't settle. He's generally capable of settling himself when he wakes up, but for these wakings has mastered this brain-shattering shriek which he can keep up indefinitely with no sign of giving up.

Tell me it will end... I keep telling him he's not going to get and brothers or sisters until he's sleeping better ;)

[Nappyabi]

drjane, just wondering how things are going now?

We are going through the whole 2 wakings lasting 1 - 2hrs thing at the moment with our 10month old son and it is really getting me down. I have read NCSS and although there are some good ideas in it, I can't see how it applies to the baby who just wants to be wide awake and can't be breastfed back to sleep etc.

We are wondering about trying controlled crying but I am not totally sure about it. I am going to try getting him up earlier to see if it helps.

[mamusia]

I added link to the talk about the same problem with younger child - both threads were very helpfull in my situation

[mamusia]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/682201-How-much-day-time-sleep-for-8-mnths-old

[PorridgeBrain]

I know this thread has been dead for a good couple of weeks but I thought I would ressurect it, as we have been through this and are now going through it again now DD (16 months) has just moved to 1 sleep a day.

We had huge problems between 10 and 12 months with DD screaming for 2 hours on average 5 nights a week. It was killing us, we were getting run down and I was getting pretty depressed about the whole thing. We solved it by fluke when we went away on holiday for a week and didn't put DD down for naps as we were out and about and she naturally fell asleep in the car for 2 x 45 mins sleeps and we also put her to bed later (8pm instead of 7pm). Miracurously she slept 5 nights out of 7! So since we came home we continued to put her down for 2 x 45 mins sleeps and then to bed at 8pm and she started sleeping through (except for ocassional cry outs but always put herself back to sleep).

Fast forward 4 months of blissful sleep and DD has been refusing to go down for her 2nd sleep so have had to move her to one lunch time sleep just before Christmas and lo and behold its all started again! I have come to the conclusion that DD is a very very sensitive baby and this unfortunately spills over to her sleep patterns. If we don't get her daytime sleep pattern spot on and she has too much DTS then we get 2 hours of night time waking. So we are currently trying to work out her new sleep pattern and coping with the long nights in the meantime. Having said that she has slept through for the last 3 nights and I am hoping we may have cracked it. My current 'theory' is that she needs to have more wakeful time in the day than she had sleep the night before. So if she slept 11 hours in the night which is our best case scenario then she needs to be awake at least 12 hours the next day which may mean only giving her a 1 hour nap in the day but she seems to cope on it. We'll see if it lasts, otherwise I'll be back on here asking for more advice but just thought I'd share my experiences and also I have to say that I am relieved its not just us that has experienced this, although I wouldn't wish it on anyone! I hope all your LOs are now sleeping through

[drjane]

Ladymoo - yes I did! They said that children his age very quickly form habits, and that after the first few nights he had probably just got used to being awake for 2hrs every night. She suggested exactly what we've been doing which is to go in, lay him back down with minimal contact, and keep doing that until he goes back to sleep. She also said we should stop giving him a milk feed at 5.30am because he'll get more and more used to waking up at that time. Her idea for stopping them was to get up with him when he wakes at 5.30 and play with him to distract him from wanting milk! The idea is that he'll slowly start waking up later when he's not having milk as soon as he wakes. We shall see.

So it's been working okay so far - it's certainly much better than before. Some nights I don't even need to go in - he only wakes for a few minutes or he's not actually crying. He has been having a few early starts though...5.45am this morning. Didn't give him his milk until 7am though, with his breakfast.

[ladymoo]

Drjane did you go to the sleep clinic?

[drjane]

Yes, and we had a good night last night! Went from 8-12.30, awake for 10min and then down until 5, gave milk and up at 6.30am. Wonderful. Fingers crossed for tonight...we may have cracked it!

[SleeplessinSwansea]

drjane...did you try minimal stimulation? (nb. have been doing the same for naps, etc to reinforce the point that he ain't going to be getting any of mummy/s attention!)

Meant also to add that naps have been absolute hell. He normally only sleeps 30-40mins anyway but is particularly resistant to the "no=contact" form of settling!! poor lamb was in his pushchair for naps today though-I couldn't take it anymore!!!

[SleeplessinSwansea]

Hi, sorry for tardiness in posting. But....he slept through from 7pm to 5:15am!!!!! Awake for 15 mins at 5.15, then back to sleep and slept until 8AM!!! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED. I am walking around on cloud nine but also hoping he's not sick or something!! It's worth a try surely?

[nellynaemates]

drjane, sorry it's not going so well.

Yesterday my son had a nap before lunch (about 11 til 12.45) and no other afternoon naps, bathed at 6.15pm, milk feed and asleep in his cot by about 10 to 7.

I heard him wake up once last night but it was only a little sound and then he went back to sleep himself in about 10 seconds so I didn't need to settle him.

I woke him up at about 7.10am.

I've no idea if his sleeping was a random event, due to his immunisations yesterday, or if putting him to bed earlier worked but I thought I'd tell you what happened anyway!!

[drjane]

Wow - seems this is a pretty common problem.

We had a terrible night last night. He went to bed like an angel at 7.45pm, and was then up from 12.30-2.30am. He then got up for the day at 5.45am - noooo!

It seems the only effect of getting him up earlier for the day has been that he's gone back from having one nap to having two. I guess he's catching up on his missed sleep - hah!

So I've basically had 3 hrs sleep - am at work now mainlining coffee. This must end. It's the sleep clinic tomorrow so hopefully they have some magic answers for me - they were pretty good last time I went.

SleeplessinSwansea - how did your technique go last night?

[dontbitemytoes]

i'm so glad i've found this thread! I've just posted in parenting about my 15mo dd doing EXACTLY the same. last night it was 9:30pm-1am. Absolute hell.

DH brought her downstairs to play as he said it was easier than fighting with an octopus in bed.

We too think it is milestone waking, though talking for dd as she has been walking for a while now.

am praying it doesn't happen tonight. She had always been such a good sleeper

[nellynaemates]

I didn't see this thread before I posted mine but it sounds like my son is doing exactly the same!!

He was really sore with teething and a cold a week or so ago and we had one night where he was awake for almost the whole night (12.30am until 7.30am!!).

He doesn't seem to be teething or ill any more but he did just start walking unaided a couple of weeks ago and is really now beginning to take off (he is just past 12 months).

We've decided to try getting him up earlier again (it's so difficult when you know he's knackered from being up for 3 hours at night though).

We had instilled such an effective routine in him (after 7-9 months of no sleep) and I'm gutted that we're going backwards again. Please keep posting for any successes/mistakes to avoid!!

[drjane]

We had a 'normal' night last night - he woke at 12.30am and awake until 2am. He then woke at 5.30am and I brought him into our bed to give him his bottle which he drank and went to sleep until we woke him at 7am.

SleeplessinSwansea - when he wakes up, I leave him as long as I can stand, then I go in and get him out of his cot. He's usually standing up pointing at his toy box shrieking at the top of his voice. I rock him in the rocking chair. This never works, so after about 30min I take him in to our bed where he usually flops around and fidgets and chats for an hour or so. I then take him back into his own room and rock him to sleep and put him back in his cot.

As I write I realise how ludicrous that is...

[SleeplessinSwansea]

Hi- said I would report. Last night he woke at 1am. I sat with him,but with a strict no-contact policy (none of my usual patting), I was occasionally lowering him when he seemed to have knees locked when standing in the cot. He was screaming for 15mins presumably craving that mummy patting and soothing, but then stopped and had settled himself after a further 15mins of heavy breathing/light fussing. Woke again at 3am but much shorter settling and waking time. Well it definitely seems to be the current answer to my problem . What do you do when your little one wakes? RE the cot thing, hubby & I made resoluation last night that 7:30pm to 6am was cot-time no matter what. I think having decided this at the outset made us both more confident in doing this settling plan.

[drjane]

SleeplessinSwansea - wow, that's great. TBH after the first couple of nights where we ended up with him shouting and screaming for the full 2hrs, I gave up trying to get him to settle in his own cot. I might be inspired to give it another go though.

[drjane]

God, sorry - it all went a bit haywire and I forgot to keep posting.

In a nutshell, yes, getting him up earlier does seem to improve his sleep the following night. However, getting him up earlier caused his naps to go crazy and we've been totally inconsistent with the time we've been getting him up, so this has proved to be a rather uncontrolled experiment.

We got him up a 7am this morning though, and he's just gone down now (after 45min nap at 10am and 30 min at 5pm - oops) so hopefully we'll have another better night tonight. When I say better, he still wakes up, but is awake for more like 30min rather than 2hrs.

I'm also going to the sleep clinic run by our HV on Thurs to get their advice - so will post anything useful they suggest...

[SleeplessinSwansea]

Hi- am going through same thing, after reading a case study on sleepnannies, decided it might be i am giving him too much stimulation when he wakes. last night just laid him down, no eye contact, no talking,no feeling for a wet nappy & back to sleep in 30 mins. MUCH better than standard 3 hrs!!! shall tell you if any better tonight

[ladymoo]

We are in the same boat!! what's going on? I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed some sleep!

[ali23]

drjane, we're in the same boat.
DD was up from 2am til 4am last night and I am starting to lose the plot. I am getting so impatient and feel so guilty.
She is now 19months and while she has always been a dreadful sleeper, for a short spell she was doing very well. I have no idea what has sent her off on this course but it is awful.
It's not every night, but maybe three nights a week that she can be up and awake for two or three hours at a time. It is just ghastly.

[LittleMissMac]

Please let us know how it goes. I am looking for straws to grasp at. Seriously.

[drjane]

Day 3 - napped 1 - 2.30pm and went to bed at 8pm. Awake from 2.15-4.15am, then again at 5.15am (arrghh!). Brought him into our bed and he went back to sleep until we woke him at 7.15am.

Hope this starts working soon - am beginning to doubt my theory! This might turn out to be a 'what not to do' thread

Am also thinking that the bringing him into our bed in the mornings isn't such a good idea - I might try putting him back in his own bed.

[drjane]

Day 2 - okay, so yesterday he napped from 11am-1pm and went to bed at 8pm as usual. He was then awake from 12 - 1.30am and woke again at 5.30am but that time I gave him his milk in our bed and he went straight back to sleep. We totally failed to wake him at 7am, woke him (with great difficulty - he didn't want to get up at all!) at 7.30am.

That still means he was in bed for 11 1/2 hrs which is too long - will definitely get him up earlier tomorrow.

[drjane]

Yeah - no doubt the molars are on their way (gulp) but I don't think the long wakings are related, as he doesn't seem to be in pain, just awake!

[ches]

Teeth hurt - often most - when moving through the jaw, not only when budding up on the gum. Our molar hell started in June and we didn't see them until at least August.