Long night-time wakings in a 14 mo

[drjane]

Hi - can't believe I'm still posting on this forum - I thought we'd have sleep sorted by 14 months! How naive.

Anyhow, the latest horror - which has been going on for about 2 weeks now - is extended wakings during the night. They last for 1.5 - 3hrs and can be any time from 12.30 to 4.30am. It's killing me. It seems to have coincided with his starting to walk, but surely that shouldn't last 2 weeks?

I've tried everything - picking him up and rocking him, leaving him, bringing him into our bed, giving him milk/water/extra blankets but the result is the same - awake for about 2 hrs. It's hideous. He seems to be tired, but just can't settle. He's generally capable of settling himself when he wakes up, but for these wakings has mastered this brain-shattering shriek which he can keep up indefinitely with no sign of giving up.

Tell me it will end... I keep telling him he's not going to get and brothers or sisters until he's sleeping better ;)

[katiepotatie]

We started leaving the hall light on, and leaving a couple of books in her cot. She generally reads herself to sleep now. Although she did start sleeping better, once I stopped breastfeeding. Sorry I have no other advise, have been there though and know how grim it is. Keep your chin up

[ches]

Molars?

[drjane]

I'm pretty sure it's not molars - he doesn't have any yet but I can't feel any swelling in his gums. Might be worth giving him some Calpol when he wakes up though, see if it makes a difference...

[drjane]

Okay, I've done some research in my extensive library of sleep books and I think I might have figured out what the problem is. Thought I'd post a diary here about how we get on with fixing it in case others were having similar problems.

So, babies only need a certain number of hours of sleep during the night - this varies from baby to baby but averages around 10-11 hrs for a 14 mo. What happens when they're in bed longer than their nightly sleep requirement is that either they won't go to bed at bedtime, they wake up early OR they are awake for a period in the middle of the night, which seems to be our problem.

I can see how this happened - while he was ill he slept in until 8.30am a few times, and then when he started to wake in the night and took a while to settle he would also sleep in until 8.30am. So he's in bed from 7.45pm until 8.30am which is almost 13hrs, but only requires 11 or so hrs sleep, hence the 2 hrs wakings in the middle of the night.

So, the solution. You change his bed/wake times so that they match up with the number of hours he's actually asleep for at night. I've calculated this to be about 11 hrs, so if I put him to bed at 8pm, he needs to be up at 7am. Last night he was awake from 4.30-6am so I woke him at 7.30am (boy, was that hard - I so wanted to carry on sleeping!). Tomorrow morning I'll try and wake him 7am. Will keep you posted.

[Pinkjennybellrock]

Right. (DD still not sleeping through at 19mo) So basically if she needs to be up at 7pm, I put her to bed at 8pm?

[drjane]

Yep - well if she is generally asleep for 11 hrs total at night time. That's the theory at least - I'll let you know if it works for us!

[eekareindeer]

My dcs were generally fairly good sleepers (although they both had a little bit of controlled crying at around the 10 month mark) but I never expected them to sleep longer than 10 or 11 hours at night.

They always went to bed at 8pm and I got them up at 7am if they hadn't woken before. And for my dcs at least that routine seemed to suit them well.

Good luck with it. I think you might have something there!

[ches]

Teeth hurt - often most - when moving through the jaw, not only when budding up on the gum. Our molar hell started in June and we didn't see them until at least August.

[drjane]

Yeah - no doubt the molars are on their way (gulp) but I don't think the long wakings are related, as he doesn't seem to be in pain, just awake!

[drjane]

Day 2 - okay, so yesterday he napped from 11am-1pm and went to bed at 8pm as usual. He was then awake from 12 - 1.30am and woke again at 5.30am but that time I gave him his milk in our bed and he went straight back to sleep. We totally failed to wake him at 7am, woke him (with great difficulty - he didn't want to get up at all!) at 7.30am.

That still means he was in bed for 11 1/2 hrs which is too long - will definitely get him up earlier tomorrow.

[drjane]

Day 3 - napped 1 - 2.30pm and went to bed at 8pm. Awake from 2.15-4.15am, then again at 5.15am (arrghh!). Brought him into our bed and he went back to sleep until we woke him at 7.15am.

Hope this starts working soon - am beginning to doubt my theory! This might turn out to be a 'what not to do' thread

Am also thinking that the bringing him into our bed in the mornings isn't such a good idea - I might try putting him back in his own bed.

[LittleMissMac]

Please let us know how it goes. I am looking for straws to grasp at. Seriously.

[ali23]

drjane, we're in the same boat.
DD was up from 2am til 4am last night and I am starting to lose the plot. I am getting so impatient and feel so guilty.
She is now 19months and while she has always been a dreadful sleeper, for a short spell she was doing very well. I have no idea what has sent her off on this course but it is awful.
It's not every night, but maybe three nights a week that she can be up and awake for two or three hours at a time. It is just ghastly.

[ladymoo]

We are in the same boat!! what's going on? I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed some sleep!

[SleeplessinSwansea]

Hi- am going through same thing, after reading a case study on sleepnannies, decided it might be i am giving him too much stimulation when he wakes. last night just laid him down, no eye contact, no talking,no feeling for a wet nappy & back to sleep in 30 mins. MUCH better than standard 3 hrs!!! shall tell you if any better tonight

[drjane]

God, sorry - it all went a bit haywire and I forgot to keep posting.

In a nutshell, yes, getting him up earlier does seem to improve his sleep the following night. However, getting him up earlier caused his naps to go crazy and we've been totally inconsistent with the time we've been getting him up, so this has proved to be a rather uncontrolled experiment.

We got him up a 7am this morning though, and he's just gone down now (after 45min nap at 10am and 30 min at 5pm - oops) so hopefully we'll have another better night tonight. When I say better, he still wakes up, but is awake for more like 30min rather than 2hrs.

I'm also going to the sleep clinic run by our HV on Thurs to get their advice - so will post anything useful they suggest...

[drjane]

SleeplessinSwansea - wow, that's great. TBH after the first couple of nights where we ended up with him shouting and screaming for the full 2hrs, I gave up trying to get him to settle in his own cot. I might be inspired to give it another go though.

[SleeplessinSwansea]

Hi- said I would report. Last night he woke at 1am. I sat with him,but with a strict no-contact policy (none of my usual patting), I was occasionally lowering him when he seemed to have knees locked when standing in the cot. He was screaming for 15mins presumably craving that mummy patting and soothing, but then stopped and had settled himself after a further 15mins of heavy breathing/light fussing. Woke again at 3am but much shorter settling and waking time. Well it definitely seems to be the current answer to my problem . What do you do when your little one wakes? RE the cot thing, hubby & I made resoluation last night that 7:30pm to 6am was cot-time no matter what. I think having decided this at the outset made us both more confident in doing this settling plan.

[drjane]

We had a 'normal' night last night - he woke at 12.30am and awake until 2am. He then woke at 5.30am and I brought him into our bed to give him his bottle which he drank and went to sleep until we woke him at 7am.

SleeplessinSwansea - when he wakes up, I leave him as long as I can stand, then I go in and get him out of his cot. He's usually standing up pointing at his toy box shrieking at the top of his voice. I rock him in the rocking chair. This never works, so after about 30min I take him in to our bed where he usually flops around and fidgets and chats for an hour or so. I then take him back into his own room and rock him to sleep and put him back in his cot.

As I write I realise how ludicrous that is...

[nellynaemates]

I didn't see this thread before I posted mine but it sounds like my son is doing exactly the same!!

He was really sore with teething and a cold a week or so ago and we had one night where he was awake for almost the whole night (12.30am until 7.30am!!).

He doesn't seem to be teething or ill any more but he did just start walking unaided a couple of weeks ago and is really now beginning to take off (he is just past 12 months).

We've decided to try getting him up earlier again (it's so difficult when you know he's knackered from being up for 3 hours at night though).

We had instilled such an effective routine in him (after 7-9 months of no sleep) and I'm gutted that we're going backwards again. Please keep posting for any successes/mistakes to avoid!!

[dontbitemytoes]

i'm so glad i've found this thread! I've just posted in parenting about my 15mo dd doing EXACTLY the same. last night it was 9:30pm-1am. Absolute hell.

DH brought her downstairs to play as he said it was easier than fighting with an octopus in bed.

We too think it is milestone waking, though talking for dd as she has been walking for a while now.

am praying it doesn't happen tonight. She had always been such a good sleeper

[drjane]

Wow - seems this is a pretty common problem.

We had a terrible night last night. He went to bed like an angel at 7.45pm, and was then up from 12.30-2.30am. He then got up for the day at 5.45am - noooo!

It seems the only effect of getting him up earlier for the day has been that he's gone back from having one nap to having two. I guess he's catching up on his missed sleep - hah!

So I've basically had 3 hrs sleep - am at work now mainlining coffee. This must end. It's the sleep clinic tomorrow so hopefully they have some magic answers for me - they were pretty good last time I went.

SleeplessinSwansea - how did your technique go last night?

[nellynaemates]

drjane, sorry it's not going so well.

Yesterday my son had a nap before lunch (about 11 til 12.45) and no other afternoon naps, bathed at 6.15pm, milk feed and asleep in his cot by about 10 to 7.

I heard him wake up once last night but it was only a little sound and then he went back to sleep himself in about 10 seconds so I didn't need to settle him.

I woke him up at about 7.10am.

I've no idea if his sleeping was a random event, due to his immunisations yesterday, or if putting him to bed earlier worked but I thought I'd tell you what happened anyway!!

[SleeplessinSwansea]

Hi, sorry for tardiness in posting. But....he slept through from 7pm to 5:15am!!!!! Awake for 15 mins at 5.15, then back to sleep and slept until 8AM!!! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED. I am walking around on cloud nine but also hoping he's not sick or something!! It's worth a try surely?

[SleeplessinSwansea]

drjane...did you try minimal stimulation? (nb. have been doing the same for naps, etc to reinforce the point that he ain't going to be getting any of mummy/s attention!)

Meant also to add that naps have been absolute hell. He normally only sleeps 30-40mins anyway but is particularly resistant to the "no=contact" form of settling!! poor lamb was in his pushchair for naps today though-I couldn't take it anymore!!!