Chronic insomnia please help!!

[peacelily]

Hi, I've never been a "good" sleeper but prior to dd because of crazy shift patterns I always managed to find some catch up time somewhere.

Now with 16m dd 9-5 job 4 days a week and housework etc never jave any decent time to nap. Insomnia has worsened since dd born even tho she slpet thru from 4.5 months. Takes me ages to drop off then usually awake again at 3ish mind going mad with thoughts. Then up at 7.

Feel shit all day, struggling to remeber stuff at work and organise myself and truly paranoid and tearful cos of this. Sniping at dh and finding it difficult to give dd enough energy when I'm with her. Feel like I'm letting her down . No wonder she prefers dh to me.

Do I go to the drs to get pills?? Please help.

[ivykaty44]

Have you done all the things like - hot milk with honey and lavendar bath at bedtime?

Turkey sandwhiches and banana at tea time?

Hot chocolate is also good, these foods have certain chemicals in them naturally that help with sleep. The turkey you notice at christmas when everyone falls asleep in the afternoon.

[peacelily]

Hello Ivykaty44 I'm veggie to turkey not an option! Thanx tho. Will try a banana and have tried chamomile tea, hot milk in the eve. These help me fall asleep quicker but don't help me stay asleep. Once I'm awake at 3ish I can't drop off again mind goes mad.

Facing the day with 3/4 hours broken sleep in every 24 is getting impossible, and I know I'm lucky to have a dd who sleeps thru. Others with more kids would see this as a real luxury!

[ivykaty44]

Do you excersise - I find that this does help to a certain degree aswell.

[jellybelly25]

I used to have horrible insomnia exactly like yours, am not a brilliant sleeper now but much much better and it is only once a week or so that I really struggle to drop off again like you.

I think all the food/drink type things help you feel chilled out before you go to bed but it's more about your own mental state, are you very stressed about work/housework/dd etc? It is a lot of responsibility... Could you be suffering a little bit of depression? I'm only going on my own experience here - my insomnia was the leftovers from quite bad PND that I never realised I had, in the end I saw a counsellor at my uni and was put on some old-fashioned anti-depressants that I took in the evening specifically to help me to sleep. It really really helped- I think lack of sleep made my mood much worse and that made me less likely to sleep, a vicious circle.

I would avoid conventional sleeping pills - they might knock you out initially but if you are very stressed you may become resistant to them and you dont' feel like you've had proper sleep anyway, there's a nasty hangover feeling that's not much better than being shattered all day.

On a more positive note, it might just be about not having a wind-down routine - if you are used to catching sleep here and there then maybe you need to train yourself like you would a baby - do it all in pretty much the same order every night. If you are doing chores, watching TV or whatever, don't go straight to bed, strictly allow yourself at least half an hour of quiet while getting washed, having a hot drink and slowly winding down. If there are things waking you up worrying you in the night, do a little journal during your half an hour to get any niggles out of your head and onto the paper.

I agree that exercise really helps, and a good dose of fresh air and sunlight every day too. Are you in an office all day?

Finally, I really do sympathise, I used to be late all the time, forgetting things constantly, losing stuff (always a sign I am not getting enough sleep) and like you say when I would settle down to do things with dd I would find I was all out of energy and also patience, which made me even more miserable. I cannot tell you how many times I lost my parking ticket and had to pay the £8 daily fee to get my car out having on ly been to uni for two hours or something! I cried at the security men so many times they must have dreaded the sight of me... Sleep deprivation does horrible things to you, especially when it's your own mind keeping you awake because you're stuck with it!

[poshwellies]

Just wanted to sympathise with you peace I'm not disimilar to you atm..I'm currently living on 4-5hrs of sleep and I'm usually still awake at stupid o'clock feeling like my brain will burst at any given moment..

It's terribly lonely at 3am when everyones dreaming away-I've often had a blub quietly to myself,its pure frustration really.

Ace post Jelly-agree with the wind down routine

[Millygs]

Oh it's horrible isn't it. I have 17 month old twins and have experienced really bad insomnia since they were born. However, my sleeping is now miles better (I went through periods of sleeping for an hour a night so can completely empathise with how crap this makes you feel). I've used sleeping tablets (which I'm now off) and have seen a psychotherapist who is specially trained in insomnia management. My thoughts (pretty random and following a glass of wine!):

1. I did take zopiclone for about 12 months on and off and actually found it quite helpful. I didn't get a hangover effect and found I felt OK in the morning. My therapist (OMG I feel like I must sound like an episode from Will and Grace - apologies!) felt that there are some times when sleeping tablets can help and actually it's very hard to think rationally about insomnia when you are blardy knackered. And I came off them pretty easily when I was ready. (I have also used them in the past when I had an episode of insomnia and on that occasion only needed to take them for a week and I'd cracked it). Obviously not a long term solution but I was completely at the end of my tether and just needed to sleep.
   
   
2. I was given loads of tips re. sleeping which I can send to you if you would like. There's a book as well I'll look up that I think they are in. Basically it's a CBT type approach which aims to reduce your anxiety about sleeping. The wind down routine is good. Writing things down that are worrying you (not immediately before bed though) can be helpful. Not going to bed too early (which is hard when you're exhausted). Not panicking (ditto!). If you can't get to sleep you're meant to get out of bed after 20 mins and do smg else. I found this pretty impossible as I was so tired, but now I just read for a bit (sometimes in a different room to DH whose snoring issues don't help!) and that doesthe trick.
   
   
3. I agree it's important to think about whether there's any underlying cause you can identify. Because of my previous experiences I was very anxious about my twins all the time and this really affected my sleeping.
   
   OK - feel like I'm rambling now. But just wanted to say there are things you can do. I know it feels like it's hopeless. Not sleeping is just awful and affects every aspect of your life.
   
   Let me know if I can help.

[jellybelly25]

good stuff milly - interesting re zopliclone, thats what i had and i didn't get on with it, glad it worked for you though, please ignore my general sleeping pill bashing! where did you find the specialist insomnia therapist?

aw posh - i also cried often in the night, its such a desperate feeling... I once wrote this really dark poem about it that my dh (sleeps like a log of course) found a few days later and he was really horrified by it! i was just mildly embarrassed - it was all scrawly writing, doom and gloom and aching misery - very dramatic!

i had a terrible phase of either drinking or having a smoke every night before bed, which was obviously extremely stupid and made everything ten times worse. so err, i would not recommend that as a course of action...

hope you get some rest soon peacelily

[Millygs]

I found the therapist through work - there are only a couple trained in insomnia so I was lucky. I did have to pay, but it did help so was worth it. I agree Jelly that sleeping tablets seem to work differently for everyone - my aunt has chronic insomnia and doesn't get on with them at all. But I think if your insomnia has got to the stage that it's seriously reducing your QoL they may be worth trying.
I did the drinking thing too (the smoking just makes me sick these days!) and I agree - not that helpful! (NOt that that always stops me)
Anyway, back to Dawson's Creek (is it just me? - probably - New Year's Resolution - must get social life