I've been posting around for a few weeks now in desperation of getting my 6.5 m.o DS to sleep better/fall asleep without a boob-and-arm-numbing-rock routine. He's high needs, very active and determined, never ever slept in his cot, never fell asleep without an aid (stroller/sling/boob). Co-sleeping became shit (he would still wake 4/5 times a night ,sometimes to comfort suckle, sometimes he wouldn't resettle til he was rocked again), doesn't take dummy, etc. Textbook high needs bad sleeper.
I saw my NCT friends yesterday and all their babies go down without bottle/breast/rocking, two of them STTN, the breastfed one feeds twice a night but definitely doesn't wake every hour. They take naps in their cots so the mums can actually CLEAN the house, make food, etc.
My baby only slept in my arms, would wake up right when he was put down. This meant I got nothing done, had to go to bed with him at 8pm, no intimacy with DP, no chance to work on my freelance writing (that was the plan - work from home once he's 6 months.. Hahahaha).
Anyway, something snapped in me last night and I did our usual bedtime routine, bath/feed/walk around the darkened room calmly singing to him, except then instead of getting into bed with him and letting him nurse to sleep, or rocking him and then laying beside him, I..... Put him in his cot. I got a chair, put it beside the cot, and.. Well. The next two and a half hours were NOT fun. He screamed. Cried his heart out. I cried too. But I made up my mind - no picking up. I bent over into the cot to kiss him, I stroked his cheek, kept my hand on his belly, he thrashed and freaked and just wouldn't have it. After two hours of this I was ready to give up. But he eventually got tired, and fell asleep. He woke a few times that night, but was easier to resettle.
Today, he went down for a nap in his cot after protesting for 25 min. Again, I never left his bedside. His second nap he didn't cry as dramatically, more fussed.
And now, bedtime, he went down with 15 min of crying (again, not leaving his side).
I'm amazed. I never ever ever ever thought this would work. I felt shit knowing if I rocked him he'd stop crying and sleep but honestly our co-sleeping situation was NOT making him or me happy -- sure he'd fall asleep, but he didn't stay asleep, and I was knackered and starting to get really irritable at my lovely DS.
I know people say - oh they just want cuddles and contact, just enjoy it, they're little -- well we did enjoy it until it stopped working for us and made everyone feel like shit. What's the point in persevering with something that doesn't work well anymore?
Anyway, I wanted to post this for reassurance for anyone who's in my situation. That first "cot sleep" moment will be horrible, be prepared to be dysfunctional for the following day and get HELP from friends and family. I'll keep everyone updated on how our week goes. But I can only hope it'll keep improving as I've already seen improvement in just one day.
Oh and I would never ever just leave him to cry alone in his room. I mare sure he wasn't hungry etc., goes without saying I think. But he did get tired in the end and now he knows he is able to fall asleep without mummy and man, do I feel a massive weight lifted off my shoulders !!!
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My co-sleeping high needs baby fell asleep on his own for the first time. I cried.
cosmicdancer89 · 03/11/2015 18:46
To clarify -- I cried of delight when I saw him asleep in his cot 
Make that well done you 
. Its hard teaching them to sleep, but when you are all ready it is so worth it x
Our flat is really small. I've been sleeping on an air bed next to his cot. The problem is when he wakes past 12pm it takes ages and ages to settle him back.. I'm sticking to the "soothing him in his cot" thing but at 3am after an hour of attempted cot soothing when he's still whining I just can't cope anymore and end up feeding him. I persevered quite well the first 5 nights and didn't rock or feed at all during his wakings, but wife the sleep hasn't improved I'm starting to crack and "cheat", so to speak, in a desperate attempt to get back to sleep..
I just feel so shit that I've given this so much commitment, was so disciplined and yet, the only progress has been that he goes down to sleep at 7pm in his cot. I wouldn't mind 2 night wakings for genuine thirst or hunger reasons but this is just intense.... And there are those people whose babies just sleep bloody through with no training from 8 weeks and all their advice to me is just infuriating me 
people have no idea how tough it can be with stubborn temperament babies...
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Not as bad a sleep experience here as the OP and some other posters, but bad enough and I really feel your pain! Baby 8 months old now.
My DS is also impossible to settle after waking. I'm lucky that he can do a long stretch, but after the first wake up, it's a disaster. It's been like this since we came out of the 4 month regression (which started at 10 weeks and lasted for THREE MONTHS).
I also did the co sleeping and going to bed at 7 routine as it was the only way to get him to settle at all. Awful times. He has never been able to successfully nap by himself during the day, so I literally had a baby attached to me for 24 hours most days.
From 6 months I did similar to the OP. Baby in cot, me sitting by the side. He learnt to self settle and after a couple of weeks would fall asleep after about 20 mins of tossing and turning. Then - bang - back to normal. Started it all again. But this time he developed a hair fetish. He would not even contemplate settling unless he had hunks of hair to rip at. So I somehow found myself hanging over the side if the cot for around an hour every evening while he pulled my hair to sleep.
Two weeks ago, I let him CIO. I was home alone with DS, was putting him to bed, was taken unwell. Had to plonk him down in cot, then spent an hour in the bathroom with head (and other bits 
) stuck in the loo bowl. I could hear his screams for 40 mins.
While this was truly an awful experience, I can't say I regret it. I just feel relieved. The next night, I put him down and walked out of the room (thinking I'd be back in with him after 5 mins), but he just grumbled for a couple of minutes and went to sleep. So far so good. The stupid thing is, I kind of knew that my presence was distracting for him and picking him up or touching him in any way made it worse. I just felt way to guilty to leave him.
The other big surprise was that he actually stopped crying after 40 mins. When I'm there and he's fractious, he can easily cry for well over an hour. In fact, he still does, most mornings. While evenings are currently sorted, I'm still looking fir an answer to the early wakings. Typically he will now sleep for 9-10 hours (Yesss). Problem is, it's not enough for him. After feeding he still needs more sleep but finds it impossible to drop off again. Carrying, rocking, feeding again, cosleeping, playing, singing... Nothing works. He just gets more and more grumpy until he starts screaming, then basically screams for an hour whether being held or otherwise. It's a pretty crappy way to start the day every day. Still can't nap either.
So I'll also be looking for answers!
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