Phrases that make you weep

[KatieLily12]

So I have a difficult sleeper. I've been on here at various points desperate for advice. However, thought I'd start a giggle lighthearted thread for a change.

What phrases make you want to just face palm whenever someone says them?

My recent one, when I was explaining why a time wouldn't work for us, was 'why not come anyway and they can sleep in the other room while we carry on?'

I think I did well to laugh rather than openly weep.

[NoWayPedro]

Quite simply "is LO sleeping through the night yet?" either by family members, friends, random people in the street - WTF??!

Its like this is the ultimate parenting test no one told you about. You can do everything possible for your child and if they don't sleep through - well; 'we have a shit mum here people! Her LO doesn't sttn.'

(Or it sounds a lot like that when you're sleep deprived and botox on them crows feet doesn't seem like such a bad idea after).

[NoWayPedro]

*all

[LillyofWinchester]

Haha, good one Pedro, that made me chuckle.

[KatieLily12]

I have been asked if LO sleeps through yet since she was 7 weeks by would be FIL. Thank god she cries every time we go so I can mumble something about nap times and scuttle gratefully out the door.

[KatieLily12]

Other one I love 'what happens if you just let her cry?'

She cries.

The clue was in the question really wasn't it?

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Everything said on the early waking threads where mothers with babies who sleep 10 solid hours a night are shattered because DC wakes up at 5:30 every morning. You don't know you're alive, girls...

Any suggestion that babies 'should' be sleeping through the night, by themselves, in their own rooms by a certain age, even though every one of those concepts have only started rolling around in the past century of the preceding 30,000 years of human evolution.

Any, even the slightest, suggestion that parenting has any bearing on whether your child sleeps. Can't decide which infuriates me the most - people who insinuate that your parenting is somehow at fault, or those smug twatty mctwats who think their blissfully sleeping child/ren is down to their Superior Parenting.

So everything nextphase said, basically

[nextphase]

Elphaba, I think there are some things that people do which can encourage / discourage good sleep HOWEVER there are kids WHO JUST DON'T SLEEP and anything you do, except wait it out, ain't going to help. I think the parents who say CIO or CC works are the ones who have been doing things to discourage sleep, where as there are those of us who have tried everything (or everything baring crying), are doing everything they can to encourage sleep, its just the kids who don't want to sleep.

Sorry, rant over!

FWIW, DS2 was treated very similarly to DS1, and DS2 was sleeping through the night before his older brother....

[Throughgrittedteeth]

Elphaba. Yes. Yes. YES.
Fuck off you smugging smug smuggers!

[hairymonkey]

"Have you tried a groclock" I hate gro clocks, cost a fortune and ds1 used to wake up especially to see if it had changed colour. Ds1 always been an early riser, 4.00 at a bad spell. People have recommended gro fucking clocks for 5 years!

[Throughgrittedteeth]

Oh hairy don't say that, I'm hoping that will eventually be the thing that helps us last resort

[Throughgrittedteeth]

last resort obviously

[rocketeer]

Baby rocket2 was/is an awful sleeper (he is 7 and only just goes through from 9-6).We were CONSTANTLY told he was doing it for attention/it was our fault for cosleeping/leave him to cry. It was a nightmare at the time and I can only just look back and raise a smile..,

[candr]

The phrase 'have you tried......' YES, have tried bloody everything!

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

Ha ha, enjoying this thread. I'm on my second non-sleeper. DD is now 3.8 and sleeping quite well, although bedtime remains tricky. People seem to think that, because we have poor sleeper no.2, it must be something to do with our my parenting. They usually relate it to breastfeeding.

I HATE the smug parents, usually only online, fortunately, who say 'I never let mine...' Or 'I insisted on...'

[KatieLily12]

'What about putting them in the pram?'

A pram? A pram? Why do you think I am? Some kind of monster?

Yes of course I've tried to get her to sleep in a pram. She IS a baby after all.

[Judyandherdreamofhorses]

MIL 'He doesn't look tired'.

No, he never fucking looks tired. He never is tired. But he still has to go to sleep sometime!

[Throughgrittedteeth]

My DM blames any bad behaviour on DS being tired. No sometimes he's just misbehaving/pushing his boundaries. Its become a bit of a joke because my nana used to say that about me, so DM is perfectly aware of the parody she has become, but she can't help herself..

[Throughgrittedteeth]

KatieLily have you tried ?

[Nicknamefail]

It's your fault for breastfeeding her sleep when she was little....except how can I help it when she falls asleep on the boob.

Also the hv 'she probably doesn't need feeding overnight now '. Thanks. For that but it's the only that gets her back to sleep love.

[SettlersofKezan]

A wry smile at these. Nearly nine months in with DC1 and it is a little bit comforting to know we're not alone with the incredible non-sleeping baby.

I HATE that people judge whether DD is "good" by whether she sleeps or not. What about all the other things about her?

For a while I had my hopes raised when people said she'd sleep better when she was on food or crawling. Nope, both those things have been and gone. I just laughed when someone said to me the other day that she'd sleep better when she was walking.

I also laughed rather hysterically at a lady in Mothercare when buying a high chair. I asked the difference between the cheaper and more expensive ones and she told me "it reclines for when your baby falls asleep during a meal." Won't be needing that then. That'll be for the same babies that fell asleep on their playmats and in their Jumperoos.

And no, I don't want to put baby rice in some milk for her or introduce a bottle of formula in the evening to help her sleep.

And another one here who has had so many people say "just leave her to cry, it'll be solved in a couple of nights." No, thank you.

Ah, I feel better for that. As I sit in my daughter's nursery waiting for her to be deeply enough asleep to sneak back into the cot in the hope of another hour s sleep...

[LuisGarcia]

"Why don't you just tell him to go to sleep?"

Genius. 4 hours is an indulgent night 3 years in, but why oh why did it never occur to me to say the words "go to sleep"?

[OrangeFootedScrubfowl]

Haha great thread.
Once DD fell asleep on her playmat. I was really worried, I thought she must be terribly ill. She never troubled me with that sort of behaviour again though.

[OrangeFootedScrubfowl]

I like the people who go "He is five weeks old and not sttn, I can't possibly carry on, five whole weeks, it has been torture!"
Or a similarly tiny little amount of time.

[YouDontWinFriendsWithSalad]

"Mine love sleeping - they take after me and DH!"

Yeah, DH and I bloody hate sleeping more than four hours a night. Must've passed that onto DD.

"[name] sleeps through because I was so relaxed during pregnancy."

The implication being that I must've spent my pregnancy in a pent-up ball of stressy rage.