Phrases that make you weep

[KatieLily12]

So I have a difficult sleeper. I've been on here at various points desperate for advice. However, thought I'd start a giggle lighthearted thread for a change.

What phrases make you want to just face palm whenever someone says them?

My recent one, when I was explaining why a time wouldn't work for us, was 'why not come anyway and they can sleep in the other room while we carry on?'

I think I did well to laugh rather than openly weep.

[MBRaz]

Love this thread. Anything my sister says at the moment makes me sob - she has two fantastic sleepers - her recent gem was, 'yes they slept through the night at 9 weeks but I had to really work at it'. As if I couldn't really be arsed to try and get my dd to sleep...

Oh and her other one - whenever we are staying at my parents she - without fail - will always tell me that she has to wake her children up in the morning. Normally just after I have mentioned that I've been up since 5 and up 3 times in the night.

Oh - and anyone who says that your baby 'should' be sleeping through by now. How oh how is that helpful!

[HearMyRoar]

I remember that too milk. Now I come to think about it I'm sure its the same people who now seem so surprised that she isn't sleeping...

The other day I bumped into someone I know who has a dd the same age as mine and we got onto the inevitable sleep talk where I mentioned dd being a terrible sleeper and she went, 'oh gosh yes, my dd is also sleeping terribly at the moment'. So we had a good moan and I thought how nice it is to speak to someone in the same boat until she said 'yes, if dd would just get past this phase of waking up at 5am and go back to sleeping till 7 again. Its awful!'. I confess, I laughed in her face...possibly slightly hysterically.

[minipie]

Oh god yea, just about everything in Gina Ford is a phrase that makes me weep. Especially "baby will now sleep for 45 minutes".

Needless to say, baby has not read Gina Ford.

[milkyjo]

A bit off track but when you're heavily pregnant and you don't sleep well and everybody has to comment that its preparing you for night wakings or it'll be worse after your baby is born! Doh, yes I thought it would all be bliss and I could go back to my full night's sleep on my tummy!

[milkyjo]

At our wits end, dh bought Gina ford book, turned to a page in the middle "by 4 months you will know why your baby is crying". This made me cry! Took me a year to work out what ds wanted! Spoke to a mum about my new baby and made a joke about not knowing what she wants and the mum looked at me and said "oh we knew what ds wanted when he cried, he had different cries". My ds had loud and louder.

[TabbyMcTat]

Argh! Sleep deprivation! Meant to say second strong coffee after another terrible night. You know it's bad when every night is a write-off ...

[TabbyMcTat]

De-lurking to add "oh you get more sleep AFTER they're born" (friend who'd had her baby before the rest of us - needless to say he was a perfect sleeper from day one).

And my personal favourite (still makes me three years on) - "oh I couldn't put up with that, I NEED my sleep".

I'm on my second non-sleeper. I swore it would be different this time, and it is - if anything, DS2 is worse than DS1. Have just downed my second dtr

[Brugmansia]

DS isn't too bad (at present) once he's asleep but doesn't get to sleep until late in the evening and doesn't nap regularly during the day.

When discussing how to get him to sleep earlier I've been told to make sure he has no more than 4 hours of naps during the day - definitely not a problem managing that one. Also apparently it's easy to have an early bedtime if you just make sure they have no naps after 5pm - doesn't seem to make any difference here even if he's very tired and grumpy already having not slept since mid-morning.

[MaMaPo]

Oh Katielily, that sounds super fun.

My almost 6mo has been a tricky sleeper but not horrendous, so I decided to change all that by bringing her to Australia for a holiday. She's regressed, especially with naps, so I've had to start holding her for naps again. I've had ALL the 'but she's so lovely! But she doesn't look tired! She'll sleep well tonight! How dare your mother say anything bad about you? What happens if you just leave her to cry?' bullshit, but I quite enjoyed this morning's comment from friend of MIL. I was explaining that she falls asleep ok on me but wakes as soon as I put her in the cot.

'Oh, so you just pat her back to sleep then?'

No, that's impossible because by that point her legs are going like she's competing in the Tour De France and we are back to square one.

[KatieLily12]

We went to a wedding this weekend and there were many other children, toddlers and babies.

I walked circuits round the chapel willing LO to sleep before the service as various people came up, tried to peer into the sling and said 'oh are you trying to get her to sleep/ is she sleepy?'

No. Not at all. I just really felt like being a distraction during our friends service so thought pacing would be excellent.

Then I watched as a 3 mo is wheeled in lying in a pram, asleep and remains so for the whole service

Then later I'm strapping her back into the sling to head home early and another mum says 'oh it's awful when they miss a nap isn't it? Will she sleep now though?' No, so I'm leaving to go home with her. 'Oh you won't get dinner or hear the speeches' no but then neither will anyone else if I stay.

Next day brunch I watch the same 3 mo fuss slightly then be popped drowsy into the pram once more then someone says 'wont yours do that then?'

It's been a fun weekend

[amazingmumof6]

shop I agree with your mum on that to a certain degree.

also the owls/larks thing

what I hate is when I moan about a bad sleeper and I get " but intelligent children need less sleep!"

sure, sure, I guess I'm a fecking genius then, existing on 4-6 hours of sleep at times.

spare me! [begging emoticon]

[Jusstdoingmybest]

Hi - quite new to this but I love these. I have a 3YO DD1 - great sleeper and 10MO DD2 - very very bad (born Friday 13th - what did I expect!).

I always get - 'but she is soooo cute - how can she be such a bad sleeper - I don't believe you' etc.

Because as we know cuteness is directly related to being a good sleeper.

[shop1909]

Agree with most of these.

My top ones are

Smug SIL how her under 10 week old self settles and sleeps through. I am evilly waiting for it to unravel. It's ger 3rd so she ought to know better.

DH waking briefly during a inconsolable crying session commenting how it was ridiculous DS was so upset then going back sleep. I still fume about it, how was it a helpful comment.

Anyone who says if I didn't BLW he would sleep better yes the magic of puree of course..

when DS was weeks old my mum said children are either good sleepers or they aren't and sooner you accept it is no reflection on you the better -I love her so much :)

[wellieboots]

YY to maybe she doesn't want to sleep, and the linked ones, she doesn't look tired and the bullseye - she would fall asleep if she was tired! ha fucking ha! The crazy thin is initially I believed it (pfb and no family support)and there were times when DD was 2 months old and she slept in no longer than 2 30 min blocks between 5.45 am and 9.30pm

Oh and the other classic, oh well, it's good that she doesn't sleep in the day, if she slept too much in the day she won't sleep at night, umm yes, and if she's mega overtired ...

Oh and just remembered another classic from hv - look for the tired signs, then it will be easy

[SettlersofKezan]

We went to see my grandparents today and DD was overtired (due to motorbikes, lawnmower and people who dare to enjoy the sunshine during daylight hours disturbing her naps ) so my grandad helpfully suggested I just pop her on the chair with a cushion, so she could go to sleep. Bless him.

[TheCrackFox]

Ds1 was an absolutely horrific sleeper (he is nearly 12) and could now sleep through a bomb going off. He didn't sleep through until he was practically 4 yrs - I remember it well as I woke up with a start at 5am and ran to his room to check he was ok such was the shock to my system.

My favourite comment was "we had a routine as sleep is so important to us". What human doesn't find sleep important?

[minipie]

Have we had "Maybe she just doesn't want to sleep"?

This is my DM's favourite (usually said as I am heading out with the pram yet again to try to get DD to nap). Yes DM, you are right, she doesn't want to sleep. EVER. but she NEEDS to sleep or she will be a screamy mess by the evening and wake up all night.

[amazingmumof6]

oops, sorry mine were not about sleep, I didn't read OP, rookie mistake! well, I might as well carry on.....

I have tons more.
from "DS1 is such a fussy eater" (no MIL, he's 2 and hates your food covered in oil!)
through "why has he got no teeth yet at 14 months?" (because I'm a bad parent)
to "is 3 year old DS2 going to stay blonde?" (huh?)
I'm in danger of damaging my eye muscles due to excessive eye rolling.

[amazingmumof6]

"Are you still here?" - towards end of pg I'm asked this a million times, mostly during the school runs by mums I vaguely know.

errrm? yes I'm here, we are talking face to face. oh you mean that I'm still pg? What gave that away you genius?
Oh and I'm sorry you are disappointed I'm STILL pg - but I've got 6 weeks to go!


also "I didn't know you were pg!" (so what?)
"are you having any more?" and basically any pg related questions.

and through 6 pgs "are you hoping for a girl?" I got so fed up that eventually I'd say "well, we did have a girl but she died...." (true, had MC after DS4)

had 5 boys then baby girl - so now it's "oh you FINALLY have the girl you so wanted, you must be so pleased" huh? why don't you fuck off to the far side of fuck?

[MyShoofly]

I can't count the number of times I've been told to drop his nap (starting around 7 months onward!)......queue you poking your overtired child as they are passing out from exhaustion by 2:00 whilst advising them...."excuse me child I have it on the greatest authority that you do NOT need a nap"

[MyShoofly]

okthen that is perfect!!!!!

[MyShoofly]

Detox my son is now 2.7 yrs and is only now starting to ore consistently sleep through the night (though its always touch and go TBH). We read every sleep book, felt we encouraged good habits through solid routine blah, blah.....he just sometimes does NOT sleep.

Between 1st b-day and 2nd there were weeks in which he would wake up every night for hours. Not being bad, just awake and not wanting to be alone (which is understandable in some respects). what can you do? He cant sleep (shrug). We would sit with him for hours and he would just toss and turn and not fall asleep. We were not willing to just leave him to cry because we fundamentally believed that he was not capable of understanding and were not willing to abandon him to be hysterical. Besides...I'm not sure this insomnia-like sleep thing is within his control. I've never once regretted our approach and just nod and grunt when I'm given that whole "rod for your own back" line ad nauseum.

when I tried to explain the issue to our pediatrician she was totally unsympathetic and exclaimed "he's 2 just be happy he sleeps at all"

[okthen]

Ps I have a good response to the 'how is he sleeping?' question:

'Terribly! But he's sooo gorgeous, what does it matter?'

A bit of preemptive smugness tends to kill the 'advice' to follow...

[okthen]

Anything about babies being 'good' because they sleep well.

Anything along the lines of 'she loves her bed!' or 'she's a sleeper!' complete with smug twinkle.

Especially when said by parents of babies under 4 months or so whose babies have lulled them into a false sense of security, and who think that is sleep sorted. Really have to resist saying JUST YOU WAIT.

Oh oh, and my granny saying 'just give him a little pat and tell him to go back to sleep' (3mo at time)

On the other hand, people can't win when you're sleep deprived. So if a friend expresses horror at the horrible night I've just recounted, I feel all defensive...

Basically I only want to talk to people whose babies sleep as badly (or preferably worse) than mine.

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

'You were just like that' F--K off mum thats not helping!