Hello, can I join in?
I wanted to post a good news story re sleeping and CC and this thread seems like the best place to put it. It's (really) long (sorry!), but I need to get it off my chest and also hopefully it will give people some hope that it can be done!
DD2 is nearly 8 months. She's been a pretty awful sleeper from the start. First bit, obviously, just feeding on demand through the day and night, so didn't expect her to sleep well. But then she started teething and got first two teeth at 4 months. She teethed continually, and painfully, until 7 months when she finally broke her 8th tooth!
Over that period she was swaddled and sleeping in the pram downstairs (to avoid waking up DD1). We often needing to bob and weave about with her over the shoulder before being put into the pram asleep. Many evenings were spent walking round in circles in the living room, pushing her in the pram, with white noise roaring out of the computer. Other times, I'd be crouched over holding the dummy in her mouth without making eye contact. Many nights she slept in the pram beside the dishwasher, which we would put on repeatedly through the night while one of us slept on the sofabed nearby.
We gradually dropped elements of this ludicrous routine but each time it was a struggle. Stopping swaddling was the hardest (she is a big baby and she was breaking out of her swaddle and I was worried it was starting to look like a throttling hazard). She windmilled her arms violently and just couldn't drop off unless we pinned her arms to her sides/to the mattress (gently, of course!). She would fight and cry and then eventually give in.
Bit by bit, we made slow progress. Swaddle gone, white noise only when we really couldn't get her to sleep, into the cot upstairs rather than the pram etc. But none of it easy. We got her bedtime routine sorted finally, which we'd struggled to do for ages because of doing tea, bath and bed for DD1. And her daytime naps improved - she was getting better at settling herself and going through a single 45 minute cycle without needing help over to the next cycle.
But she still had only ever slept through the night once since birth and she was never predictable. Sometimes (hardly ever) she would go to sleep straight away. Other times you had to do a constant cycle of picking up, putting down, offering bottle, offering dummy, holding arms, leaving, coming back, offering dummy again, over and over in different combinations until eventually she would turn her head to the side and you'd think 'yes, she's going'. It could take up to 45 minutes to get her to sleep and sometimes she'd be awake again 20 minutes later. This would happen at least 3 or 4 (sometimes more) times a night. Soul-destroying.
But at least we weren't sleeping beside the dishwasher, so we felt like things were heading in the right direction!
Then at around 6 months we started to go backwards. She started waking up between bedtime and dream feed. All of a sudden, she was waking 4 or 5 times every evening, and then constantly through the night. DD1 had just started school, so to avoid her being shattered all day (they share a room), we started feeding DD2 when she woke up to stop her from crying/to get her back to sleep, or whisking her into our room when she just wouldn't settle.
We agonised over whether she was in some kind of pain. She would lift her legs up and whomp them down over and over, and cry with a really pained expression on her face. So we cut out dairy (other than her formula bottles) and wheat.
We agonised over whether she was hungry (she's big!) or whether she'd eaten too much (she likes her food!).
DH was exhausted from weeks of taking DD downstairs in the night to sleep on the sofa bed with her. He was getting depressed at the lack of sleep and lack of progress. I just felt more and more like a failure. Why couldn't we read what she wanted? Why couldn't she sleep? What was wrong? Why were daytime naps relatively painless now but night time sleep so disrupted?
So I decided (after a lot of reading) that we would do CC during half term. DH would take DD1 away to visit relatives for the week and I would do CC with DD2. The first night, DD1 went for a sleepover so DH and I could do CC together. Then the following 4 nights, I did it alone.
I read the Millpond Sleep Clinic book and followed their instructions to the letter. I think that was the key, and also that I prepped DH in advance - a lot - so he didn't derail things in the middle of the night. By this stage, I was confident that DD's waking was habit and becoming ingrained (just a gut feeling) and also felt like we'd got as far as we could doing things gently. I also took her to the docs to check her ears, tummy and breathing, just in case she had some kind of underlying pain, which she didn't.
So, we did usual bedtime routine. Bottle at 6pm, bath, dim lights in bedroom, gentle singing, into sleepsuit, rest of bottle on lap, into sleeping bag, into cot, give her the dummy (attached to a Sleepytot, highly recommended!), kiss on the head, night night. Leave.
Then wait out of sight by door and observe. As soon as she started to cry properly (not just intermittent grizzling, babbling or shouting), timer went on. After exactly 5 minutes, into the bedroom not too close to cot - definitely not right up to cot and definitely, absolutely no touching her - a couple of sentences "come on DD2, you're fine, go to sleep now, see you in the morning, night night" and leave.
Back to the door to observe. Timing only from when crying starts. After 10 minutes of crying repeat going in, talking but not touching. Leave. After crying for 15 minutes repeat going in. And so on. So, 5 mins of crying, then 10 mins, then 15 mins, and every 15 mins after that.
The first night she cried 5 mins, then 10 mins and fell asleep after a few minutes of the first 15. She woke quite a few times over the course of the evening but each time we repeated the steps above and she cried for 5 mins, 10 mins, and some of the first 15. It wasn't fun but I knew once we started we had to see it through and we were resolved to do it, so no caving.
Gave her dream feed as usual at 10pm, she went straight to sleep afterwards. She woke once at 2am and did a bit of half-hearted crying for 5 minutes and went to sleep. AND SLEPT TIL 7am!!!
Second night, she cried for 5 mins plus a bit of the 10. Then went to sleep, had a dream feed at 10pm and SLEPT THROUGH THE ENTIRE REST OF THE NIGHT!
Third and fourth nights. SHE SLEPT THROUGH! (A couple of little cough-y type cries a couple of times, which woke me up but didn't require any intervention.)
And she has slept through ever since - now 2 weeks and counting. Including through a nasty stomach bug.
Believe me, this seems like a miracle to us. She sometimes cries when she's first put down for either naps or bedtime, but it's not for more than a couple of minutes and then she's asleep.
So, in total she probably cried for maybe 45 minutes but not in a row - over 3 or 4 nights, and in 5, 10 or 15 minute bursts. Never more than 15 minutes in a row.
She is happy and smiling and laughing during the day (as she was before), and there are no signs of any distress or change in personality at all. Other than me and DH are human again and enjoying having two DDs in a way we haven't been able to until now.
So, if you've tried everything else and your DCs are 6 months and above, and you're gut feeling is that they're not hungry or in pain, but just in bad habits, and you're sure you can see it through and do it properly, I'd say go for it. And good luck!