Tell us your favourite children's joke/s and you could win £150 in vouchers for the store of your choice

[carriemumsnet]

Kinder mini treats have asked us to help the find Britain's best children's jokes. The jokes should be suitable for children aged under 11 (nothing too rude please ) and we're dividing them into three categories, knock knock, animal and teacher/parent jokes - hope that gives everyone enough leeway .

Once we've collected the jokes, Kinder will be whittling them down to the top 5 in each category and then we'll be asking you to ask your child/ren to vote for their favourite (with another £150 up for grabs then).

Everyone who sends in a joke (ideally one in each category) will be entered into a prize draw to win £150 of vouchers for a store of your choice.

You can send in your jokes here

Thanks and good luck.

MNHQ

[Rhubarb]

Why does a bear have a fur coat?

Because he looks silly in a raincoat.

Or, my personal favourite courtesy of ds, 5.

Why did the rabbit cross the road?

Because he wanted some chips!

I know it makes no sense, but he thinks it's hilarious!

[Housemum]

Rhubarb - glad your DS's jokes are as bad as my DD's - We have, "why did the car cross the road? To get a haircut" and any number of Knock knock variations that don't make sense.

[kid]

When my sister was about 3, she used to tell us the most stupid jokes ever.
Something like
'What do you get with x,r and p?'
'Jelly on a plate!'

She used to crack up so it must be funny to a 3 year old lol

[LupusinaLlamasuit]

Love these. DH and I have just cried at the monkey/chainsaw one. That can NOT be a kids joke, surely

Keep posting them here anyway!

What do you call a gorilla with a sausage in each ear?

Anything you like he can't hear you.

What do you call a gorilla with jelly in onr ear and custard in the other?

A trifle deaf

[Swedes]

[MrsWeasley]

how many times can we enter?
DS will keep the jokes coming until the PC crashes

[Swedes]

What do you call two rows of cabbages?

A dual cabbage way.

[CrochetDiva]

These are ds's favourite jokes - he's 6.

Animal joke

-What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
-A Do-you-think-he-saw-us

(cue hysterical laughter by 6 year old)

Knock knock

-Knock Knock!
-Who's there?
-I smell up
-I smell up who

(small boy now rolling around the floor)

[canella]

doesnt fit in any of the categories!

why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9!!!

My dd's favourite joke!!!

[mrsruffallo]

I love the silly crossing the road ones!
DS3 loves them too.
His fave at the moment is;
Why did the pigeon cross the road?
Because he wanted to do a poo-poo
Despite telling it a hundred times,he still finds it hilarious

[Swedes]

What's the similarity between a walrus and a tupperware box?

They both like a tight seal.

[fruitshootsandheaves]

This one is a bit too rude to enter

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Mega-sore-ass

[skay]

DS like this one.

Knock, knock
who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
Oh you do know me then!!

I like this one of his:

What's Doctor Who's favourite food?

Dalek Bread

[carriemumsnet]

MN towers giggling away here - hope you've posted all the (suitable ) jokes in the joke collection depot

The parent teacher jokes are basically anything with a school/teacher, mum or dad in them, but feel free to improvise eg a teacher said what do you call a dustbin lorry - pupil rubbish... etc... as it would be a shame not to have some of these in there, keep them coming. They're going to choose a top 5 in the next couple of days and we should be voting for the best by the end of the week.

Thanks all

[MissGreatBritain]

Teacher:
What's E.T. short for?

Pupil:
Cos he's only got little legs.

[mollyroger]

What's pink and wrinkly and belongs to grandad?

Grandma

[latermater]

What's the fastest cake?

Scone....

4 yr old ds' favourite

[mollyroger]

my favourite too, mater

[latermater]

Why are pirates so cool?

They just Aaaarrrrgggh!

Doesn't sound so funny written down!

[latermater]

Thanks molly roger - my son (then nearly 3) told it to my Dad in hospital just before my Dad died a year ago. It would have been his 76th birthday today, so I was thinking about it tonight.

[Tortoise]

Done
I chose DS2's 2nd favourite joke cos the 1st one is a bit risky.
2nd one is-
What did one snake say to the other snake?
Hiss off.

[Spidermama]

What do you call a man with a plank on his head?
Edward.

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?
Edward Woodward.

What do you call a man with four planks on his head?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would.

[xfabba]

and also:

what do you call a deer walking in the woods with no eye?

no idea

what do you call the same deer when it stops walking?

still no idea

[paisleyleaf]

How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it down a hill!

[CJCregg]

Why does Edward Woodward have so man Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be called

E-war Woo-war

(sorry, I love this one)